Author 9Lives Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 No ofence, but this type of attitude is probably why mostly effeminate guys hang out with you. It does not seem that you have much respect for men, at least judging from you descriptions of them as "projects" to be shepherded into a "proper" behavior. The type of man you covet would not have any of that attitude. Sure, some guys do turn into bitches after having their bollocks repeatedly busted. Others don't compromise their values and get way over the whole dating drama. They are out there, but not so easy to catch, because they've got nothing to prove. I know how to be a lady and act like a lady. What I am finding from what my lady friends and family member is that men are so busy trying to f/ck every chic they can that #1 it is hard to give 100% to a relationship...which is where those mood swings come into play(bit/chy)#2 they dont have a plan for their lives other than making a dollar so they dont strave or have to depend on anyone. Im experiencing treating him good but he taken it for weakness. I just got out of relationship and finally realized that I loved him but I did not like the way he treat me at times. When it was going good, it was because we were supportive and considerate towards each other. When it was bad ..it was because he was doing something not healthy for OUR relationship and then would get a attitude cause I was piss about it
popey Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 A man told me that titles are important when it comes to a man introducing a woman. For example, when a man introduces you to his friends as "my girlfriend" this tells the other guys...this is my lady. If he introduces as _________. You could be any damm thing to him and guys know that. So if he really cares for you,,,he dont want his friends, boys or whatever trying to get with you. Men like to mark their territory. So if you have been dating and cant publicly say what you are..you may not be that important in the long scheme of things. you might be the "doing this right now" chic I agree, I do not want to be someone's "doing this right now" chic. But I sure don't want the alternative to be the priveledge of having a man mark me as his "territory" . We have very different perspectives. Being honest, yours saddens me. I hope you may come to a different view of human beings. I believe you deserve better than what you expect. ... Sincerely.
Author 9Lives Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 How about men buy you dinner when we're ready, take you to fun dates once you've proven you are worth dating and takes your comments on the chin after you've shown you're fit to be a good mate? This modern thing is just BS, men and women both try to be so selfish. If you like a lady, how do you expect to get to know her? I find men dont want to take you out...they want to lay up in your house and eat your food, drink your drinks, and they go home if you let them. ON THE FIRST DATE
Author 9Lives Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 I agree, I do not want to be someone's "doing this right now" chic. But I sure don't want the alternative to be the priveledge of having a man mark me as his "territory" . We have very different perspectives. Being honest, yours saddens me. I hope you may come to a different view of human beings. I believe you deserve better than what you expect. ... Sincerely. THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECT. This is what I have experience and I am hearing other women say the same thing. Being marked as a man's territory is not a bad thing to a certain degree. A man give a woman the title of "Wife". that lets the world know...this is my lady(territory) Meaning it is off limits. Not for the asking or taking.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 If you like a lady, how do you expect to get to know her? I find men dont want to take you out...they want to lay up in your house and eat your food, drink your drinks, and they go home if you let them. ON THE FIRST DATE I've had this one pulled on me before...and then I never let that happen again. The solution? You say thanks, but no thanks. That is a guy who wants sex, nothing else, and that won't change. The guy who wants to take you to dinner, to go to a museum, to walk in the park and have a picnic, is the guy who wants to get to know who you are. I know it is frustrating, 9Lives, when they all seem to act the same way, but you need to hold out for the guy who won't. You also need to think about where you are meeting these guys. Are you meeting them in the club? At parties where everyone is drinking and getting lit up? Chances are higher that you will end up with that type of guy. How about changing your routine? Volunteer in a soup kitchen on a Saturday morning. Join a sports team. Do something to meet men where partying/drinking is not the central feature. You are more likely to get to know people as people first.
clv0116 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 If you like a lady, how do you expect to get to know her? If she expects me to step up and do my traditional male role and isn't willing to reciprocate, why would I want to? She's not wife material and probably only good for a quick f*ck as you so poetically noted above. You can't expect to have it both ways, either you take on a traditional role and date traditional men, or you go modern and expect a lot of going dutch. Either way is OK. Choose.
ruggy Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Seems someone has come down with the Carrie Bradshaw syndrome. It is treatable, but takes many years of retraining.
Author 9Lives Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 If she expects me to step up and do my traditional male role and isn't willing to reciprocate, why would I want to? She's not wife material and probably only good for a quick f*ck as you so poetically noted above. You can't expect to have it both ways, either you take on a traditional role and date traditional men, or you go modern and expect a lot of going dutch. Either way is OK. Choose. All I want is for a man to appreciate the tender touch of a good women and not take it for granted. Just because I am nice and considerate, does not mean I am weak. I just like living in peace and love. Men seem to take that for granted. I dont like a lot of drama. I dont want to be cheated on. I just want some to enjoy life with and have fun. That is not alot to ask but for some reason, it is hard to find. I want a man who we support each other and try to grow collectively, support each others dreams, help each other, ...kick it in love and be cool. Share lives together with friends and family
popey Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 How about men buy you dinner when we're ready, take you to fun dates once you've proven you are worth dating and takes your comments on the chin after you've shown you're fit to be a good mate? This modern thing is just BS, men and women both try to be so selfish. Well, this actually is pretty close to the traditional standard.
clv0116 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 All I want is for a man to appreciate .... So you will get to that laundry I mentioned earlier then? Before we head out for dinner and the movies after I get home from the office?
Trialbyfire Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 you need to hold out for the guy who won't. 9lives, I kind of took this out of context but it's all that needs to be said. If you want a certain kind of man, you're going to have to either go find him or be patient and wait for him to come along.
clv0116 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Well, this actually is pretty close to the traditional standard. Ya, I know. I'm finding it hard to come up with the right words tonight. Point being, a man who will do those traditional things happily has a right to expect the woman to shoulder her role as well. Without that we're being made into draft animals.
Author 9Lives Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 So you will get to that laundry I mentioned earlier then? Before we head out for dinner and the movies after I get home from the office? It is a time and place for everything. Depends on the stage we are in the relationship.
clv0116 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 It is a time and place for everything. Depends on the stage we are in the relationship. You might be worth a date after all.
Author 9Lives Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 9lives, I kind of took this out of context but it's all that needs to be said. If you want a certain kind of man, you're going to have to either go find him or be patient and wait for him to come along. im starting to recognize that. Dont get me wrong, I have not been totally mistreated by ANY man. Most of my relationship have been long ones..over a year but I just think I give 100 and he gives 70 or 80 or sometimes 90. It is like they dont appreciate the bond we have created and shared. It is weird how people come and go nowadays. It aint sh/t
Sam Spade Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 What a bunch of b.s. I am a guy and many of my friends hate dating because of all of the women who date with a sense of entitlement and have ridiculously high expectations that are not commensurate with what they bring to the table. Women like that tend to expect guys to kiss their asses. The extent of sense of entitlement is suprising and troubling. I wonder where it comes from? Perhaps the inadequate boomer parenting? Anyway, it is unfortunate that many men accept it as a fact of life and try to adjust. The final result is not good for anybody.
Author 9Lives Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 You might be worth a date after all. you funny...yeah I like cooking for my man, hanging out with him, helping him, double dating, rubbing his shoulders, giving him head, helping him, supporting him, keeping myself in good shape so we can have a good time in and out the bedroom. It is all good. But I dont think men appreciate a good woman like that. It is not special to them
Trialbyfire Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 im starting to recognize that. Dont get me wrong, I have not been totally mistreated by ANY man. Most of my relationship have been long ones..over a year but I just think I give 100 and he gives 70 or 80 or sometimes 90. It is like they dont appreciate the bond we have created and shared. It is weird how people come and go nowadays. It aint sh/t It's why I tend to pull the trigger on men very quickly, while dating. Don't waste your time on someone who won't or is incapable of giving you what you need. Don't settle. I didn't settle and now, I'm engaged to a wonderful, giving man who holds up his portion of the relationship, effortlessly.
Author 9Lives Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 It's why I tend to pull the trigger on men very quickly, while dating. Don't waste your time on someone who won't or is incapable of giving you what you need. Don't settle. I didn't settle and now, I'm engaged to a wonderful, giving man who holds up his portion of the relationship, effortlessly. That is pretty encouraging. I need to get tough like that again.
popey Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECT. This is what I have experience and I am hearing other women say the same thing. Being marked as a man's territory is not a bad thing to a certain degree. A man give a woman the title of "Wife". that lets the world know...this is my lady(territory) Meaning it is off limits. Not for the asking or taking. I do understand. Sadly, this is all to often experienced. I am not blaming you, nor any one for this; but hear me out. You also stated the things you want... things like love, appreciation, consideration, committement... Of course you do. All humans want these things. Do you think that maybe, part of the reason so many women have the negative experience w/ men you mention, is b/c people keep suggesting that women should be possesed like territory and men should be unlike women? You want to give that which is in your nature... loving emotions and intimacy... and you want them in return... yet describe men as less if they behave like a woman... get me? and yes... before someone comes at me w/ the venus v mars bs... I 100% believe this conditioning starts at birth.
clv0116 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 you funny...yeah I like cooking for my man, hanging out with him, helping him, double dating, rubbing his shoulders, giving him head, helping him, supporting him, keeping myself in good shape so we can have a good time in and out the bedroom. It is all good. But I dont think men appreciate a good woman like that. It is not special to them Some men do, but quite a few subscribe to this be the prize mentality and aren't really much of a prize anywhere but in their own minds.
Author 9Lives Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 Some men do, but quite a few subscribe to this be the prize mentality and aren't really much of a prize anywhere but in their own minds. So what does a man want?
Trialbyfire Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 popey, being part of a man's turf is biological. The reverse should also hold true. In my relationship, I'm his and he's mine. No third parties allowed.
clv0116 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 So what does a man want? Your list looked pretty good, add in clean socks and some respect and you've got it nailed.
Author 9Lives Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 Your list looked pretty good, add in clean socks and some respect and you've got it nailed. lol...for real...tell me...forget it. im getting ready to start a new post and I want you to behave yourself.
Recommended Posts