2sunny Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 don't bother telling him what will keep you from seeing him Saturday. IF he asks you out formally for Sat. - just tell him you have plans. don't give him details of what it is or who it's with. for him to continue to invite you out with the premise of the sleepover being included is not only presumptuous of him - but extremely rude when he's not even making more effort than phone calls and blatantly showing you by actions that he doesn't want to be bothered to make more effort to enjoy your company - unless, of course - it includes sex. :sick: certainly don't answer your phone on Sat evening when you are out with your friends. go and have a great time at the charity event. maybe you'll meet some nice men there. ;)
chrislovestosurf Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 So I really really want to have sex with him finally before breaking up. Is that bad ? Should I worry that the oxytocin will hit me and bond me to him ? (oxytocin is released during sex) nope, not bad at al
Author Nagini Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 don't bother telling him what will keep you from seeing him Saturday. IF he asks you out formally for Sat. - just tell him you have plans. don't give him details of what it is or who it's with. for him to continue to invite you out with the premise of the sleepover being included is not only presumptuous of him - but extremely rude when he's not even making more effort than phone calls and blatantly showing you by actions that he doesn't want to be bothered to make more effort to enjoy your company - unless, of course - it includes sex. :sick: certainly don't answer your phone on Sat evening when you are out with your friends. go and have a great time at the charity event. maybe you'll meet some nice men there. ;) thanks .......
Author Nagini Posted March 6, 2009 Author Posted March 6, 2009 so now he's mad at me for not calling HIM back last night we talked 3 times in the afternoon and he left vm at 7pm i texted him back. he didnt ask me to call him back too too funny
2sunny Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 so now he's mad at me for not calling HIM back last night we talked 3 times in the afternoon and he left vm at 7pm i texted him back. he didnt ask me to call him back too too funny please tell me why you are still on this volatile ride called insanity? this is enough to make anyone crazy! cut him off! don't take another call from him... just text him and tell him you're finished with him continuing to torture you. what is fun about what he's doing to you? this is supposed to be the honeymoon stage of dating. can you do that?
Sam Spade Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 This thread is like watching "The Hills". Which begs the question why am I watching this mess to begin with, but that's irrelevant, I'm hooked for good
Author Nagini Posted March 6, 2009 Author Posted March 6, 2009 please tell me why you are still on this volatile ride called insanity? this is enough to make anyone crazy! cut him off! don't take another call from him... just text him and tell him you're finished with him continuing to torture you. what is fun about what he's doing to you? this is supposed to be the honeymoon stage of dating. can you do that? Im going to a charity ball tomorrow night on sunday im going to watchmen my mom just wants me away from this guy
2sunny Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Im going to a charity ball tomorrow night on sunday im going to watchmen my mom just wants me away from this guy i'm frustrated... you haven't addressed questions people have or any details of what he says during your so called "long conversations" - nothing. also, NO ACTION on your part isn't helping others to want to participate here. if you just want to update every once in a while and use this place to complain and not DO anything about it - let us know, then we will understand that our input isn't necessary - you will just do nothing and complain. it looks like that is all you're willing to do. we get very little info to work from... we aren't mind readers nor do we have a magic wand to make it all better for you. YOU have to take ACTION! so, what are you going to do about this? did he ask to see you? did you turn him down? did he say if he has plans this weekend? what's up?
BobSacamento Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Is anyone else starting to feel sorry for this poor bastard?
Author Nagini Posted March 7, 2009 Author Posted March 7, 2009 i'm frustrated... you haven't addressed questions people have or any details of what he says during your so called "long conversations" - nothing. also, NO ACTION on your part isn't helping others to want to participate here. if you just want to update every once in a while and use this place to complain and not DO anything about it - let us know, then we will understand that our input isn't necessary - you will just do nothing and complain. it looks like that is all you're willing to do. we get very little info to work from... we aren't mind readers nor do we have a magic wand to make it all better for you. YOU have to take ACTION! so, what are you going to do about this? did he ask to see you? did you turn him down? did he say if he has plans this weekend? what's up? he asked to see me saturday and have me sleep over two days ago i explained no i have plans with friends. i didnt like that he uses the word 'angry' so quickly. even IF he hasn't been cheating he is too selfish (he even admits he is used to getting EVERYTHING his way) i emailed him a little while ago that I have no friends here still and have a great job offer and am moving away and I dont want things to get more complicated between us when Im leaving. i saw he logged onto facebook, so he mustve read it. no reply. which is fine and no i wasnt go to talk to him on the phone OR see him to break up. I can see him laying on the charm or going nuts. so thats that thanks again for your help.
2sunny Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 he asked to see me saturday and have me sleep over two days ago i explained no i have plans with friends. i didnt like that he uses the word 'angry' so quickly. even IF he hasn't been cheating he is too selfish (he even admits he is used to getting EVERYTHING his way) i emailed him a little while ago that I have no friends here still and have a great job offer and am moving away and I dont want things to get more complicated between us when Im leaving. i saw he logged onto facebook, so he mustve read it. no reply. which is fine and no i wasnt go to talk to him on the phone OR see him to break up. I can see him laying on the charm or going nuts. so thats that thanks again for your help. still no firm action on your behalf. you made a comment on his facebook about maybe moving... i don't see how you could be more wishy washy than that... there's no action involved from your side. if you want to be firm - tell him you don't intend to see him anymore! no messing around about what you are trying to get at! not only that - but i'm also unsure where your angry reference comes into play. what is that in reference to? did he get angry about something? what was it? what does angry look like from him? i am baffled! once again you give a miniscule of information and it doesn't even make sense. i'm still totally frustrated trying to make sense of what info you do give here and what you don't give. do you expect us to play a guessing game with you? i won't! i promise! unless you get a lot more forthcoming - i'm not responding further...
bubblegum Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Hi Nagini, how are things? I've read 2sunny's frustration, and believe it's an indicator of how you've been feeling this past month. Don't be put off, it's the wonderful and heartfelt responses from posters that are the most significant. I hope you had a good time at the benefit, and am wondering what insight the time spent focusing on yourself, and not on your relationship, has given you. I'm not sure you realize it, but your threads and posts have undecidedly opened the eyes of many readers on here, whether they write anything about it or not. Hope to hear from you... forward is the way...
Mary3 Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 My boyfriend calls a me a lot. morning and night ... Except his behavior has changed. For the last month nearly every Tuesday night he never calls me back or answers his phone. Thats because he is with a woman . 4 weeks ago he sai dhe went out with a friend tuesday night he did call me very late and very drunk that night. Drunk with a woman was acting overtly sexual his behavior started to change a bit after that. for the next two saturdays he feigned being sick (on Valentines Day, but sitll took me out at 7 pm but wanted to drive me home at 9:30 pm because he felt sick [i insisted on staying over to care for him] Thats because he dropped you off and went with her he did a mid week sleepover date which was fun an di felt close to him again (no we havent had sex yet, just everything but) He is getting his sex elsewhere then the next saturday he took me out and drove me home at 10:45 pm saying he had to be up early (he took a 'business phone call' outside at 8:30 pm in the middle of our dinner) No , he had to be with her at `11-1130 and this last Saturday he went out with old buddies from high school .. I offered to go with him o rmeet him afterwards. No he was with her he said no (he did get together with people, but had a strange woman sitting next to him in two photos on facebook) Thats his new girl we did go out this sunday. just a movie... Yeah and she got much more that girl He called me 4 times yesterday and acted sweet Yeah calls you and keeps stringing you along Now again its Tuesday again and he called me at 6pm asked me to call him back. I did at 7 pm and emailed him again at 9 pm No call back...Thats because he is with her. Should I guess he is seeing someone on tuesday now and ALSO seeing them late Saturday nights ? Read my above answers...see which you agree with ?
Author Nagini Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 Hi Nagini, how are things? I've read 2sunny's frustration, and believe it's an indicator of how you've been feeling this past month. Don't be put off, it's the wonderful and heartfelt responses from posters that are the most significant. I hope you had a good time at the benefit, and am wondering what insight the time spent focusing on yourself, and not on your relationship, has given you. I'm not sure you realize it, but your threads and posts have undecidedly opened the eyes of many readers on here, whether they write anything about it or not. Hope to hear from you... forward is the way... Thanks Bubblegum, I appreciate your post. I actually broke up and he raised his p@nic disorder as a freak out to tug at my heartstrings. Sill me I saw him saturday saw watchmen and thne he cooked dinner under the stars on his patio and opened up about taking meds for p@nic disorder and how lucky he is to have me i stayed over. I told him I can only be with him if he gives me the power to go with him to events or be around at biz meetings. So he said yes.... But now today he announced he wants to start taking yog.@a to help with his anxiety... I thought that was cool and told him that Im actually an expert in a couple forms of yog@ and can instruct him well he said no he wants to go to a Yog.@ class otherwise he won't do it regularly. Sorry he is a busy man and now suddenly he is going to work twice weekly yoga classes into his schedule ? Ive told him Ill go along with him since i love yog@ too. Ill see what happens. In the meantime Im still making plans to move and working overtime. And yes I know Im weak to break up and then immediately give in because of his p@nic attack. (he is on med for it )
Author Nagini Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 Read my above answers...see which you agree with ? Hi Mary, Probably true
2sunny Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 yep, i agree with Mary. you just rewarded bad behavior again by seeing him AND sleeping over! did you not go to the fundraiser? oh, geez, i think you chose him after he thought you were busy. bad move! now he even thinks you will change things around for him when you have something fun happening... how many times does this guy need to treat you like a second thought for you to understand that you are his afterthought. he's prepped you to accept crumbs and you willingly jump right in - even after you've just said "no more." where's the boundary in that? there is no boundary! he can treat you like dirt and you say "oh, ok..." he's probably laughing at what little you expect from him. oh, and did you notice he didn't invite you to yoga? YOU offered to go - and he still didn't include you... hmmmm, the new gal is at that yoga class - i guarantee it. where's the self respect? please try harder for yourself honey!
Author Nagini Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 yep, i agree with Mary. you just rewarded bad behavior again by seeing him AND sleeping over! did you not go to the fundraiser? oh, geez, i think you chose him after he thought you were busy. bad move! now he even thinks you will change things around for him when you have something fun happening... how many times does this guy need to treat you like a second thought for you to understand that you are his afterthought. he's prepped you to accept crumbs and you willingly jump right in - even after you've just said "no more." where's the boundary in that? there is no boundary! he can treat you like dirt and you say "oh, ok..." he's probably laughing at what little you expect from him. oh, and did you notice he didn't invite you to yoga? YOU offered to go - and he still didn't include you... hmmmm, the new gal is at that yoga class - i guarantee it. where's the self respect? please try harder for yourself honey! hmmmm, the new gal is at that yoga class - i guarantee it. yep, i would stake my life on it. i talked to my exbf about it. he said that is a big sign of guys and girls cheating. suddenly add in a health class... and i dont live in progressive area. its mainly chicks at the yoga classes around here. and i didnt stay over all night. i made him drive me home at 4 am. i just cant sleep next to him. no trust... and besides he snores like a freight train engine. at this point the disgust is what's driving me away. pure revulsion keeps creeping in...... my brain just keeps ticking off all the bad signs spending less time in person, spending less money (instead of taking me to dinner he bought steaks) , wanting me to ALWAYS answer my phone but sometimes he is awol and acts like its always some reasonable excuse. anyway i already booked tickets and am off to florida starting this friday for 8 days to see my Mom. Mom thinks he is a loser and weirdo so that'll be good solace.
Author Nagini Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 omg omg omg omg omg thank you facebook i love you and want to hug you i had posted that there were 2 photos of him tagged on facebook with his old high school roommates AND some overdressed out of place mystery woman this was from the saturday i offered to go with him and he said no it was going to be awkward. well when i asked him who she was he had told me that oh she was a wife of one of the guys there. i had said oh the guy sitting on the other side of her and my bf he had said YES well checking again tonight i decided to GOOGLE the name of the guy he said she was married to Oh ***** he totally lied the guy is married to HIS classmate who is sitting to his left... (my google fu is strong, i AM a research by trade) so that leaves the mystery woman as unattached to anyone BUT my now EX bf im emailing him right now that people on his facebook have told me thats his other girlfriend and its over and i wish him well.
2sunny Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 and the new info you found is a surprise because......????? :rolleyes: why would you be surprised? his behavior has told you this all along.... weren't you listening? i'm glad you acted upon this "new" proof. now we'll see if you can stick to the breaking up part. he'll find reasons for you to stay in the picture. and you will WANT to believe more lies that he throws your way to keep stringing you along. he will manipulate and you will be tempted. go spend time with those other men you talked about... the nice ones that may be decent and honest... this guy doesn't deserve your time or energy that you're wasting on him. go have fun! start living again! ;)
Mary3 Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 This reminds me of something from my past. I was seeing this guy but moreso on a casual basis . Meaning, he did not talk exclusive and would call me once a week to every 2 weeks. We would get together and go out , dinner or a movie and yes , sex. So after I had not heard from him in a couple of weeks I thought it cool, to go out with other guys. So I did just that. I didn't wait by the phone for Mr. Casual. So one day we had a long talk . He asked if I was dating anyone else. I decided to lie. I said " Nope " He got a big smile and said " Gooooood " But I got the last laugh on the guy who had the NERVE to ask if I were seeing anyone else and see me whenever it worked for him. like every 2 weeks. I don't think so...lol
Author Nagini Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 and the new info you found is a surprise because......????? :rolleyes: why would you be surprised? his behavior has told you this all along.... weren't you listening? i'm glad you acted upon this "new" proof. now we'll see if you can stick to the breaking up part. he'll find reasons for you to stay in the picture. and you will WANT to believe more lies that he throws your way to keep stringing you along. he will manipulate and you will be tempted. go spend time with those other men you talked about... the nice ones that may be decent and honest... this guy doesn't deserve your time or energy that you're wasting on him. go have fun! start living again! ;) so now that im off to florida he is showing his true SCARY colors called drunk last night and left long deranged voicemails that he tattoed my name on his c0ck that he wrote im his and his b1tch on my back that he may snore in bed but that i f@rt that he has poetry for me 'roses are red, violets are blue, youre not here, so goddamn you wow then he called today and left a voicemail acting all cheery and calling me love.... i the middle of the voicemail he says oops important call incoming, miss you woah he is mayor of crazytown
2sunny Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 this is beginning to sound more like a troll... i have to still wonder why you never pursue the "other - nice" guys you said are wanting to date you? you continue to waste time and energy on this kook? word = narcissistic he'll never change.
Author Nagini Posted March 13, 2009 Author Posted March 13, 2009 this is beginning to sound more like a troll... i have to still wonder why you never pursue the "other - nice" guys you said are wanting to date you? you continue to waste time and energy on this kook? word = narcissistic he'll never change. 2sunny, i dont know why you would refer to me as a troll. that's weird and i had other threads before this i dont jump from relationship to relationship easily. the guys i do like a lot are all out of state. hence i will start things with them when i move away. and as last update, he wrote me a nasty goodbye note that he is an adult and a responsible parent and thats why he didnt have a lot fo energy for me he blamed me for not having a car and driving closer. whatever. so thats that.
2sunny Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 2sunny, i dont know why you would refer to me as a troll. that's weird and i had other threads before this i dont jump from relationship to relationship easily. the guys i do like a lot are all out of state. hence i will start things with them when i move away. and as last update, he wrote me a nasty goodbye note that he is an adult and a responsible parent and thats why he didnt have a lot fo energy for me he blamed me for not having a car and driving closer. whatever. so thats that. hmmmm, once again, he is trying to justify bad behavior. when you first dated him he saw you quite often. then when he backed off - he wouldn't be honest as to why. then he says because he's a responsible parent??? what does THAT have to do with seeing you a few times a week? he's lying and unwilling to be honest. why doesn't he just tell you he's seeing several people at the same time - then you wouldn't have to wonder which part of his stories are true... and where the truth lies. to wonder is the worst part. it's not worth the negative energy to wonder - takes all the fun out of any time spent together. i'd just tell him to kiss off! or better yet - bite me!
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