jadelil25 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 You either need to sit down and talk to him face to face and be mature about it so that you figure out whats going on. Dont just go jumping to conclusions, there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation and you can not stop him from having friends. He could be busy on a tuesday night and there is no need to have contact 24/7. Or secondly you need to end the relationship if you can not trust him and if you are not happy. Trust is an important basis in a relationship and if you can not trust him then the relationship will not work out and it will not be healthy. You will also end up pushing him away.
2sunny Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 You either need to sit down and talk to him face to face and be mature about it so that you figure out whats going on. Dont just go jumping to conclusions, there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation and you can not stop him from having friends. He could be busy on a tuesday night and there is no need to have contact 24/7. Or secondly you need to end the relationship if you can not trust him and if you are not happy. Trust is an important basis in a relationship and if you can not trust him then the relationship will not work out and it will not be healthy. You will also end up pushing him away. she has asked and has gotten answers that seem to contradict his actions. thus, leading to less trust based upon his sketchy behavior. it appears he may be lying or withholding the truth. that is why i say - pull back or just end it.
dreamergrl Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 I think something is def up. I'd have the same feeling as you OP. It's up to you to decide whether or not it's worth finding out the truth, or just leaving him. There's obviously no point in talking to him about it if you've already addressed it and get the same answer. Did I miss it, or did you state if you've just straight out asked what he's been doing when he goes MIA?
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 soooo, what is your plan? So he replied to my text at 5:30 AM. it said he was up super early and rushing off and misses me. Hmm. See ? He is always doing something that casts doubt on his cheating. But then again why did he ask me to call him last night and didnt return my call when i did ?
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 I think something is def up. I'd have the same feeling as you OP. It's up to you to decide whether or not it's worth finding out the truth, or just leaving him. There's obviously no point in talking to him about it if you've already addressed it and get the same answer. Did I miss it, or did you state if you've just straight out asked what he's been doing when he goes MIA? I've asked him casually each time. the first time he change it form having lunch with a friend and caught himself mid sentence and said 'dinner with a friend' the next week he said it was dinner with a male and female friend and then the next time he was unreachable he said his meeting ran late, he had to drive 'somewhere far' and he had to be up at 5 am. (Just like today he claimed he had to be up super early) He hasnt ask to see me tonight which was our usual mid day date. Nor has be brought up Saturday. On Sunday he asked to se eme with only 90 minutes notice cause he said he had felt sleepy and finally felt up to seeing me for a few hours. I won't see him tonight.. I dont know about Saturday.
manugeorge Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 So he replied to my text at 5:30 AM. it said he was up super early and rushing off and misses me. Hmm. See ? He is always doing something that casts doubt on his cheating. But then again why did he ask me to call him last night and didnt return my call when i did ? Seriously, why do you even bother with this guy when there is already so much drama from the onset? What are you getting from all these anxiety and paranoia? Is it really fun for you? Are you that bored?
dreamergrl Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 I've asked him casually each time. the first time he change it form having lunch with a friend and caught himself mid sentence and said 'dinner with a friend' the next week he said it was dinner with a male and female friend and then the next time he was unreachable he said his meeting ran late, he had to drive 'somewhere far' and he had to be up at 5 am. (Just like today he claimed he had to be up super early) He hasnt ask to see me tonight which was our usual mid day date. Nor has be brought up Saturday. On Sunday he asked to se eme with only 90 minutes notice cause he said he had felt sleepy and finally felt up to seeing me for a few hours. I won't see him tonight.. I dont know about Saturday. Either dump him or get to the bottom of it. Really wanna know, simply ask to have dinner with him and his "friend" next Tuesday
Star Gazer Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Call 107.9 when they do "War of the Roses" and have them do the dirty work for you.
dreamergrl Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Call 107.9 when they do "War of the Roses" and have them do the dirty work for you. Ok SG, please tell me, what is War of the Roses
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 Seriously, why do you even bother with this guy when there is already so much drama from the onset? What are you getting from all these anxiety and paranoia? Is it really fun for you? Are you that bored? Because I really deeply cared and adored him after he was my friend for many months (he is one reason I Broke up with my exbf) and because when we started dating he was the most romantic sweet charming kind funny lovely man EVER. :-(......................................................
manugeorge Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Because I really deeply cared and adored him after he was my friend for many months (he is one reason I Broke up with my exbf) and because when we started dating he was the most romantic sweet charming kind funny lovely man EVER. :-(...................................................... "Was" ...enough said. How long have you been dating anyway?
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 I suppose I should add in BOTH of his professions..... He is a VC to make money to help produce movies. Yes he also has produced movies. And he has already signed on to produce some major league stuff. so i imagine he always has a lot of chicks who want to use him clamoring after him. I'm very confident in my brains, looks, wit and personality dept., but his 2nd profession is what makes me more prone to wonder WTF is going on when he vanishes.
Star Gazer Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Ok SG, please tell me, what is War of the Roses There's a radio station in Nagini's area that does this segment called War of the Roses. Women who think their BF/F/H are cheating on them have the show call the dude, under the guise of having won a prize or promotion or something to get a free set of dozen roses sent to whomever the guy chooses, free of charge. The cheaters end up saying to send them to the OW. The good guys send them to the GF/F/W. It's sometimes hilarious to listen to (the dude's reaction when he gets caught), and sometimes heartbreaking (the innocent guys tend to get really upset).
dreamergrl Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 There's a radio station in Nagini's area that does this segment called War of the Roses. Women who think their BF/F/H are cheating on them have the show call the dude, under the guise of having won a prize or promotion or something to get a free set of dozen roses sent to whomever the guy chooses, free of charge. The cheaters end up saying to send them to the OW. The good guys send them to the GF/F/W. It's sometimes hilarious to listen to (the dude's reaction when he gets caught), and sometimes heartbreaking (the innocent guys tend to get really upset). lol We don't have anything like that here. Be suddenly the show "Cheaters" comes to mind.
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 There's a radio station in Nagini's area that does this segment called War of the Roses. Women who think their BF/F/H are cheating on them have the show call the dude, under the guise of having won a prize or promotion or something to get a free set of dozen roses sent to whomever the guy chooses, free of charge. The cheaters end up saying to send them to the OW. The good guys send them to the GF/F/W. It's sometimes hilarious to listen to (the dude's reaction when he gets caught), and sometimes heartbreaking (the innocent guys tend to get really upset). So wrong. But so funny.
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 hmm.. so we just had long conversation he was with his sister and his son last night. he said the phone was next to him and he never heard it nor saw my vm until this morning at 5am. confused.
2sunny Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 it is somewhat irritating that his words say - oh, i miss you, and his actions say, i don't have the time or energy to see you. his behavior is typical of a man that is distracted (whatever that distraction is remains to be seen - or known). the bottom line is that he doesn't see YOU as his PRIORITY or he would be going to great lengths to spend time with you OFTEN... not just lousy phone calls pretending to be interested. he's just banking on you settling for crumbs. i bet when you go MIA on him - he'll come running... typical and stupid behavior too. he's stringing you along. the guy is a jerk and won't admit it. you deserve better than that.
2sunny Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 hmm.. so we just had long conversation he was with his sister and his son last night. he said the phone was next to him and he never heard it nor saw my vm until this morning at 5am. confused. ya - right... another excuse for the Tuesday night mystery... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: what did you respond with? did he ask to see you and what did you say?
dreamergrl Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 ya - right... another excuse for the Tuesday night mystery... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: what did you respond with? did he ask to see you and what did you say? Notice how long it took him to come up with that one. I still say OP should make plans with him for Tuesday and Saturday, and if he says he's doing this or that, she should ask to come along.
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 Notice how long it took him to come up with that one. I still say OP should make plans with him for Tuesday and Saturday, and if he says he's doing this or that, she should ask to come along. He said he wants to see me Saturday and have me sleep over. So I said I dont know. I said I will be free early next week. It doesnt help him that i AM being pursued by 3 male friends. See the thing is Im pretty darn cute and fun. I have options, that's why I dont waste time on someone who doesnt bring all of his energy and devotion completely. I was once an abused woman (cough Rihanna style cough) and I DO put myself first now. Girlpower chicas, girlpower.
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 ya - right... another excuse for the Tuesday night mystery... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: what did you respond with? did he ask to see you and what did you say? yeah I JUST noticed that the ONLY two times my voicemails have 'mysteriously' not turned up were on tuesdays. UH-HUH i think im already moving on without breakin up yet. i just updated my facebook about me page to express WHAT im looking for in a guy ultimately.
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 i bet when you go MIA on him - he'll come running... typical and stupid behavior too. Oh yeah, we both know that's what he will do. I mean that's why i was half tempted to just see him saturday, just so i dont have to deal with his SUDDEN renewed verve and interest when I go AWOL. But i have to stop wimping out and face it NOW.
Author Nagini Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 So I really really want to have sex with him finally before breaking up. Is that bad ? Should I worry that the oxytocin will hit me and bond me to him ? (oxytocin is released during sex)
2sunny Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 So I really really want to have sex with him finally before breaking up. Is that bad ? Should I worry that the oxytocin will hit me and bond me to him ? (oxytocin is released during sex) DON'T! just DON'T... from his perspective, that is rewarding his bad behavior. to go there would be very dangerous for you. then more of your emotions and feelings will lead you to do things you don't want to settle for. he will manipulate you into thinking that to have a tiny bit of effort should be enough for you to be happy - which it won't make you happy at all. just don't see him for a while and maybe he'll get the hint that you aren't willing to settle for half the effort from his end. go see the "other" guys. you may find one that IS willing to make you the priority that you should be.
Author Nagini Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 DON'T! just DON'T... from his perspective, that is rewarding his bad behavior. to go there would be very dangerous for you. then more of your emotions and feelings will lead you to do things you don't want to settle for. he will manipulate you into thinking that to have a tiny bit of effort should be enough for you to be happy - which it won't make you happy at all. just don't see him for a while and maybe he'll get the hint that you aren't willing to settle for half the effort from his end. go see the "other" guys. you may find one that IS willing to make you the priority that you should be. I think my hormones were just getting to me Im at the peak of my fertile phase (sorry TMI) Im going to a Charity Ball with friends Saturday night. They had an extra 175 ticket and are taking me! Always always keep a strong social life going while dating....
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