EmperorR Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 It's been 6 months to the day since my ex fiancé told me she cheated on me showed no remorse and dumped me. Like so many I begged pleaded, wrote poems letters, text and called her like crazy but to no avail. I said I would change even though I did nothing wrong, I tried nc at first to win her back kept on breaking it time and time again, it was like I was a drug addixt nothing calmed me except to contact her then my high would be crushed a while later. I would read here for hours at work looking for similarities, whenever I read about a ex coming back in second chances etc I'd get more false hope thinking I'm next etc., I couldn't eat, sleep, my ex was on my mind 24/7, thoughts of how I'll never find anyone that smart or beautiful again and how it's what I did why she left me etc pounded my mind constantly. First thing in the morning when I woke up, last thing before I went to bed was this constant demon like hovering over my head and thoughts. I wouldnt look at other women and be like eww not as sexy as my ex not as smart as my ex, I had her on some divine pedastool like she was a goddess who did no wrong. I tried the friend's crap to no avail as it was just hurting me more and more, how can I go from loving someone to just accepting being friends my feeligns don't turn off like a light switch, so I went nc fought through urges every second of the day. Had to leave my phone at home when I went to work, deleted my email, deactivated facebook etc., I was like going insane , but little by little every day I felt a little better. After 7 days of NC I felt like a new man, it quickly turned into 30 days then 60 days now I'm at like 160 I think but the number means nothing to me because I'm now healed I could contact my ex tommorow and it wouldn't faze me, but I don't want to associate with that sort of character in my life ever again. Trust me folks when people say that it get's better it does, it was the hardest thing I had to deal with in my life but I did it, these past 6 months have been some of the worst/happiest/most rewarding times of my life. I lost the women i thought I was going to be married thought my life was over and was depressed and in ruin for a long time, but I learnt so much about relationships, about myself, about people in general. I don't even think about my ex anymore, I literally have to force myself to think about her, I harbour no ill will or animosity, looking back I was in a poisonous relationship not treated the way I should be treated but I was so blinded etc. I couldn't end it but luckily I got taken out of that situation. For months all i wanted was my ex back, I would have gave up a kidney just to kiss her one more time, now I couldn't even care nothing but a stranger to me. I'm loving my life at the moment, dating a new girl and everything has been amazing so far, I can finally do what I want to do in life without being haggled or sacrificing. I can finally buy what I want to buy, dress how I want, spend my time the way I want (yes i was basically a whipped doormat said to say) Some of the best advice I received was right here from loveshack members, funny how people I've never met in my life just names on a screen would listen and give me great advice and help me through the most darkest time in my life, while the people I thought cared about me were no where to be found. So keep your head up trust me, no one is saying it's easy, there is no textbook to follow to feel better. I've been there depressed as hell, going to work with a fake smile on my face only to be eaten up inside, coming home to a empty place and bawling my eyes out, ripping up every picture and throwing away everything when I was in my anger phase, prank calling my ex on what woudl be anniversaries earlier on etc. In the end it all depends on you, only you can make yourself happy, you were happy before your ex and you can be happy without them. Odds are they are not coming back anyways so why mourn 24/7 365 days a year it won't change the outcome or you can smile and live a healthy happy life and seek new excitement. I guess the gist of what I'm saying, time flies very fast, I still can't believe the progress I made in six months. One door closes another door opens, i truely believe stuff happens for a reason of course you don't see it right now but one day you will. Cheers
foxh1234 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Congrats man, it sounds like your doing great. Keep up the good work and good luck with the new girl. Time really does heal.
gavinus Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 awesome post!!!! It gives me hope for myself, I am glad things worked out great for you!
New York Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Rock on! Your post is inspirational and I completely agree about the support that this little blog provides. I am hoping that in another few months, I will be in the same place as you!!!
lofi_tokyo Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Emp! I didn't even realize today was my 6 month mark also! Wow!! I only noticed because you posted it and I remembered we both broke up with our exes on the same day. So... what to say? I think I feel the same as you! Your post was very well written, and I smiled the whole time I read it. Does time EVER fly! At first it seems like each day drags on... and then you wake up one fine day and realize (as I am now) "holy **** its been 6 months". SIX MONTHS! Ahh! Half a year! It feels great! My life has improved in so many areas, and beyond simply moving on past my ex, the last 6 months have been fun. I've done so much I guess I would have... never done was I still with my ex. Thank goodness for blessings in disguise. Congrats to both of us!
IcemanJB Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Glad to see you're moving on quite well! I remember when I started posting here about 5 months ago, I was a wreck just like you were. It's amazing how advice from complete strangers can help us!
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Great post. I'm glad that everything is going well for you.
sad_panda Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 It'll be three months for me really soon...it is really indeed amazing, how time flies so fast! I haven't cried in a long time now, it has been weeks. But I remember that during the first few weeks of our break-up I cried every hour (no kidding). I'm glad you're doing great on your own.
Author EmperorR Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 Thanks everyone, and thanks Tokyo time does really fly, I'm happy your feeling so much better and things are doing great, good to see you around
Hersheys Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Gives me hope! Great post. Keep up Emperor. All the best for you and the new girl!
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