Peter_pan Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 ok some how i have fallen away from my circle of mates. i dont know how to deal with this seems to have happened once me and the "popular guy" stopped liking me so much. he stirs **** acts like a girl , is a cock blocker, and has mood swings. basically he told me to watch my boundaries over my best mates girl.. and claimed this was my best mate who told him to tell me. its all lies. ever since that night things havnt been the same at all its like they just dont care lol. maybe its time to move on from them to. why should i be the one to constantly make efforts.. now i found out most of them have booked a holiday together and didnt invite me. i find that quite rude really
Ronni_W Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 ok some how i have fallen away from my circle of mates. ... now i found out most of them have booked a holiday together and didnt invite me. I get that you're wanting to put it on that one guy maybe influencing the rest of the group. But. This same thing happened to a friend of mine, some time after he got separated/divorced. What was really going on was that he was so into his own grief and pain, that HE had stopped being a friend to the others. He stopped showing an interest in their lives, offering support and encouragement, etc. All he talked about was the crap his ex had pulled, and was pulling, and the crap she was telling the kids, and how sad and upset he was. He just stopped contributing anything positive. Even looking at him, you just couldn't help thinking, "Holy crap, what a 'sad sack' of a guy!" Plus. After a few months, everyone was just exhausted and bored listening to his same crappy stories, and looking at his same old sad face. And rather than be honest with him, they all just withdrew and avoided his company. Which, IMO, was a crappy thing to do. But I also understood it. So maybe. Rather than blame the other guy, ask each of them (individually) how you have contributed to the rift, and what you guys can do together, to mutually mend the gap that's been created?
Author Peter_pan Posted March 7, 2009 Author Posted March 7, 2009 yeah i see what you mean, but i havnt done that at all. i did to start with but realised it early.
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