Ruby Slippers Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I'm in the middle of a single year, and the guys who are expressing interest in me these days are mostly high-earning suit types. This makes sense since I run my own business and am interacting with more well-to-do businessmen in my work these days. In the past, I have had relationships mostly with creative men (musicians, like me), probably in large part because I was more involved in the music scene and came into contact with more male musicians. The creative component always provided great fuel for the passion, and I had high chemistry in those relationships. I had one relationship with a more straightlaced engineer, and while I very much enjoyed the intellectual connection we had, there was little chemistry from my end and the sex was hit or miss. He said he wanted to "take care of me" and let me do my music or whatever I wanted, but I couldn't see sticking with someone I didn't have a deep connection and real passion with. I felt it wouldn't be fair to me or him. We worked on it, but it never happened. The suit guys in my radar currently all seem to be good on paper -- stable, employed, gentlemanly, handsome, high earners, snazzy dressers. But their lack of creativity is obvious in their topics of conversation, hobbies, and so on. They provide little intellectual challenge or stimulation for me, and I feel minimal chemistry or interest toward them. It would be very easy to function opportunistically (as it seems so many of my peers do) and let one of these men wine and dine me, etc., but that defies my very nature. On the other hand, I think maybe part of my problem is that I have prioritized passion and chemistry too much over stability in the past, and maybe a less exciting suit guy would be better for me in the long run. Any opinions on or experience with diverging from your usual type?
moman Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 You know what turns you on, so stick to that. I only date Latinas. Every single time I have tried to date white girls I wind up bored quickly. Good people get hurt this way too when it ends.
redant Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 It depends sometimes it may be so passionate but then that is all there is. A little of both is better for me.
Trialbyfire Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Ruby, every time I've been more open minded, it's been nothing but heartache for me, the other person or both of us. Compatibility of fundamentals help to keep the chemistry alive. When you're too busy trying to understand the other person, you waste a lot of time and effort. It's like dating or having a relationship with someone who speaks Vulcan, when you're speaking English. The deeper mind meld just isn't going to happen.
spookie Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 I think it's necessary for everything to be there for the relationship to work out. Don't settle. Unless, you know... you're ok with settling.
sumdude Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Well, ya never know. Date a few people outside your usual, just keep it light. You'll know pretty quickly if there's something there.
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