Bleeve Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Ok, here it goes. Me and my ex-started dating in Sept. of 2003. I was no where ready for commitment and wasn't in love with her. I broke it off with her in mid Dec. of 2003 and she found out she was pregnant later that month. I was by her side througout the whole preganacy, however unable to commit and living at my own place. So basically she was madly in love with me and treated me so well, and I thought of her as a great friend and told her that was all I was ready for. So our son is born in 2004 and I am still living seperate from her. I eventually move in with her in June of 2005. Still afraid of commitment and not feeling "in love" with her. I push her away by not being affectionate and never considering her my GF. (I know I was being horrible, and can't believe I was so cruel) Fast forward to fall of 2006 and she starts sleeping with a man behind my back and I discover it in Dec. of 06. She was remorseful at first, but expalined that he made her feel desired and I know I had not been. We split up and she saw this man off and on, and also me. Let me expalin that as soon as I realized that I had lost her I realized that I was in love with her. Why it took that to make me realize I will never know. I took her for granted. Well, she became pregnant to this other man in July of 07, and he immediately wanted nothing to do with her and their child. I was at this point still madly in love and was there for her the whole pregnancy. After the child was born in spring of 08 I moved back in and helped her out. She was honest with me like I had been with her in telling me that she considered me a friend and didn't want to be with me as more. ( We still had sex intemittently the whole time we have been together. Now the man is back in her life but still wants nothing to do with the child, but she has started seeing him and says she is in love with him. He has a gf by the way that he broke up but then chose his gf over my ex. She still is seeing him. She doesn't know why she is in love with him, but says that part of it is she wants him to be a father to her child with him. All this time since the child was born, I have taken care of her and have loved the child as my own. She is sooo sweet and her face lights up when she sees me and comes to me over anyone else. MY BIG QUESTION is how do I do NC(since I am still somehow deeply in love with her and she chooses this other jerk over me) It would mean not seeing this baby any more that I feel like a father too and she loves me as her father. Help please. I know it is a book and sounds like a Jerry Springer episode
Joker77 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Ok, here it goes. Me and my ex-started dating in Sept. of 2003. I was no where ready for commitment and wasn't in love with her. I broke it off with her in mid Dec. of 2003 and she found out she was pregnant later that month. I was by her side througout the whole preganacy, however unable to commit and living at my own place. So basically she was madly in love with me and treated me so well, and I thought of her as a great friend and told her that was all I was ready for. So our son is born in 2004 and I am still living seperate from her. I eventually move in with her in June of 2005. Still afraid of commitment and not feeling "in love" with her. I push her away by not being affectionate and never considering her my GF. (I know I was being horrible, and can't believe I was so cruel) Fast forward to fall of 2006 and she starts sleeping with a man behind my back and I discover it in Dec. of 06. She was remorseful at first, but expalined that he made her feel desired and I know I had not been. We split up and she saw this man off and on, and also me. Let me expalin that as soon as I realized that I had lost her I realized that I was in love with her. Why it took that to make me realize I will never know. I took her for granted. Well, she became pregnant to this other man in July of 07, and he immediately wanted nothing to do with her and their child. I was at this point still madly in love and was there for her the whole pregnancy. After the child was born in spring of 08 I moved back in and helped her out. She was honest with me like I had been with her in telling me that she considered me a friend and didn't want to be with me as more. ( We still had sex intemittently the whole time we have been together. Now the man is back in her life but still wants nothing to do with the child, but she has started seeing him and says she is in love with him. He has a gf by the way that he broke up but then chose his gf over my ex. She still is seeing him. She doesn't know why she is in love with him, but says that part of it is she wants him to be a father to her child with him. All this time since the child was born, I have taken care of her and have loved the child as my own. She is sooo sweet and her face lights up when she sees me and comes to me over anyone else. MY BIG QUESTION is how do I do NC(since I am still somehow deeply in love with her and she chooses this other jerk over me) It would mean not seeing this baby any more that I feel like a father too and she loves me as her father. Help please. I know it is a book and sounds like a Jerry Springer episode I just got out of a situation a few months ago where the ex had a daughter who I absolutely adored and she loved me as well. The girl's biological dad was a loser who wanted nothing to do with her. The ex would tell me that I was a good influence and she was glad that she loved me so much. Well the ex dumps me out of the blue one day and that was it. I never got to see the girl again and it hurt at first and I still think about how she is doing. My ex hasn't exactly set a good example for her because her life is a revolving door of men who only want one thing. The only advice I can give you is no contact and don't look back.
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