jasminetea Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I'm in love, totally, completely, utterly, with my fiancee. Just to get that sorted first off Now, my fiancee has a friend with whom he also works, who is married and has been for quite some time; they have two boys ages 10 and 12. I'll call this friend Mick. Mick's wife and I get on really well, but I don't get on with Mick as well as I do his wife. I sometimes have lunch with my fiancee and sometimes Mick is there too, so I've spent time with him, and although I think he's a good guy, he's only an acquaintance to me. A couple of months ago, we had a dinner party and invited Mick and his wife as well as three other couples. Well Mick came but his wife wasn't feeling too well so she didn't turn up. When Mick arrived, I went to kiss him on both cheeks in greeting (its normal and expected) and he turned his head just at the critical moment and I ended up kissing him on his mouth. I pulled back pretty smartish, Mick sort of smiled and other couples arrived so I got no chance to say anything. I then thought "oh well, it was an accident, no biggie." Last night, I met up with Mick's wife on our own for the first time since the dinner party and she said, completely apropos of nothing "Mick tells me you've got a crush on him." I must have looked horrified because she followed it up saying he just said it to wind her up etc. etc. but that sounds pretty awful to me. Why on earth would you want to wind your wife up, especially like that, never mind involve a completely innocent party in it? I'm inclined to do nothing, just avoid Mick in future. That way it doesn't impact on my fiancee's friendship with him, or exacerbate any possible tension in Mick's marriage. But what do you think? Am I being sensible? ETS - Should I speak to his wife about this to reassure her? I've probably missed loads of pertinent info about this, so feel free to moan at me to clarify anything.
Author jasminetea Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 bugger, just realised this is in the wrong place. Sorry!
Ricky01 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I don't think it is that large of a concern. If anything I would show my colors truthfully, but clearly stating to him, in a friendly conversation in front of your fiancé or his wife, "what's this I hear of me having a crush on you?" I am sure in either case; his cheeky position will be deflated. I see it as a joke, maybe an ill steered joke. But married people are weird like that at times. As for why do people do things to just antagonize other people? I don't know, that has actually confused me for a bit also. I guess some people just have a mean streak inside them. Did he mean it to be mean to his wife or just playfully tease her (untactful) that is only for him to know. But in other actions I personally had an exgf that would say mean things to me just to get a response from me; she would get into a bad mood for whatever reason, and just want me to know it. Nothing beneficial came out of it, except whatever feeling she gained by hurting my feelings. Unsure what his intentions were, but I say keep it calm, cool, and bring it up, don't dodge away. Confront the ordeal, show your feathers
Author jasminetea Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Excellent advice, I feel. Thank you Ricky. I'll certainly say that to him
Recommended Posts