How should I get rid of the feeling of uncertainty in myself?

[lovestory5]

I am often a very uncertain person. It happened at school and at university and now in an adult life. I am very pliable to another's opinion. I should do all ideally for everybody, only then I will be comfortable and good. If someone starts to criticize my work, my mood at once spoils as I have put a maximum of efforts for this purpose. How do you cope with criticism? How do you react when someone criticizes you though you tried to do the work perfectly? Please, tell about your secrets? I even can not sleep all night long if somebody has told that I did something wrong. In advance thanks.

[Geishawhelk]

(How come you keep getting the formatting codes? I see you deleted them....

I just type and post, it's easier..... Anyway.... )

 

If you but knew how many people suffer from low self-esteem, you wouldn't feel so alone....It's actually a lot more common than you'd think, because being social and gregarious creatures, we tend to move around in groups or herds, and we seek acceptance, approval and validation from our peers, as an assurance that we're still part of the pack..... It's quite natural to want to be accepted, understood and liked. In fact, I'd say for many, it's part and parcel of being who they are.

 

The thing to remember, and to understand and accept as a real and valid Truth is this: You are no worse than anyone else. You are inferior to nobody.

 

Conversely, you are no better, nort superior either.

 

You have your place on this planet, and where others exceed and do better than you in some departments, other things they do, will be infinitely less doable for them, than they are for you.

 

We all shine in certain areas, and we all falter in others.

 

And that's OK.

 

Your failings are actually strengths, because if you know where you're not so hot - you can explain that, make it clear, and let others help.

An inability to do something, does not make you a worse person than they are.

But there will be strengths you possess that nobody else does, and these are the areas you should hone to a skill, craft and art.

 

So if somebody criticises something you do - they're criticising something you do.

They're not criticising who you are.

 

Their phraseology may leave something to be desired....

Instead of saying "I think you're dumb" people should say: "I Think that's a dumb thing to do/say."

 

Subtle difference.

Understand that even if their phraseology stinks (and pushed into a corner, people will admit they might have phrased things better) they're not holding you to criticism. They're holding what they see....

 

And 9 times out of 10, all they see is the tip of the iceberg.

 

So really, they're no judge at all, are they?

[Ross PK]

Criticism doesn't bother me, because for one, no one is going to be perfect at everything, including myself.

 

And for two, criticisim can often just be someone's opinion.

[Meaplus3]

Well you can start my trying not to take things so personally. No one is perfect. We all have flaws and good qualities about ourselves. Really what others think of you should not bother you so much. As long as you are happy and secure with who YOU are.. that's what matters the most. Now if your not secure with yourself, then you should focus on getting to the reason behind that.

 

Mea:)

[lovestory5]

My dear OPs, thank you for all your advices. I really appreciate this. OP Geishawhelk, your advice was very aducational, thnak you. I don't know why those codes appear. I just type in the word firt that to escape the misprints and after I copy it to the post they appear, so then I edit and delete them. : )

Thnak you my dear for taking time to help me. I really liked your advices. : )