troubbble Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Here’s my story. About 4 years ago I met this girl. She was a friend of a friend of mine. Long story short, we started dating, and we were in love. Now 4 years later she has left me. The end of the relationship is a difficult thing for me to decypher in my head. We were fighting a lot, mostly because it seemed like everything I said (or didn’t say) irritated her. The end of the relationship happened one night while we were planning a vacation. We were going to go to our separate families for Christmas so we planned to spend some time together out of town. The night that we broke up we were talking on the phone about hotel reservations. She got really angry because I couldn’t hear what she was saying and I was constantly asking her to repeat herself. She snapped at me and told me it wasn’t working. In the end she told me she wasn’t happy, and ended it. In retrospect and with a clearer eye while outside of the relationship, I realize that I wasn’t as affectionate and attentive as I should have been. I took her for granted. I think I can attribute most of my short comings in the relationship to depression and anxiety disorder which I am now being treated for. I feel like I can be the person that she deserves. On her side I also feel like she was feeling stagnant, partially because the relationship was 4 years old but also because of other factors in her life. Despite being a college graduate she was working a job that she didn’t like, and had changed jobs regularly for the last few years including a 8 month stint across the state from me. She was trying to get back into school, etc etc. Point being that she felt like she wasn’t going anywhere and I think she kind of lumped the relationship in with those feelings. We talked on and off for about a month after the breakup. I made many attempts to get her back. Sometimes with apologies and words of love, other times with anger and hostility. The last time I talked to her I told her I wanted to maintain some kind of contact with her, because I do care about her and I want to try to rebuild what we had. She told me that “sometimes everything reminds me of you and I deal with the pain all over again. I need my space. I love you and I will talk to you soon.” That was a month ago. I feel empty inside without her. I really want her back and I want to make it work. I know I may have let things get stagnant, but only because I was so comfortable with her and I felt like I would be spending the rest of my life with her. Obviously the ball has kind of been left in her court to make contact again but every day for me is agony, and I feel like with every day that passes my chances get worse and worse and she slips away further and further. I was hoping someone on here might have some suggestions on what my next step should be. I don’t want to lose her and am afraid that being to forward right now will only push her further away. I'm writing this in a hurry because I'm at work and need help, so there are some details missing. I'd be happy to fill them in if anyone has any questions that they think might help them to help me. Thanks
confusedcookie Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 i'm sorry to hear that, and i'm sorry to say that you're going to have to let go. As a girl's point of view, blowing up and being ticked off at the slightest things that you do is an indication that something is wrong. Which might be the things you said, that you took her for granted, or it could have been that she longer loves you so little things that annoyed her are magnified 100 times over. If she regretted her decision to end the relationship, she would have gotten back together with you within the first month when you tried to win her back, because it shows that you really care for her right? if she doesn't respond, it can only mean that she just doesn't want to try and work out the relationship where she might still love you, but just thinks that it will be better off to remain friends. i'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between the two of you.
Author troubbble Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Not the advice I wanted to hear. But I appreciate your honesty and insight.
xxscarredxx Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I agree... Me and my gf went on a 7 month hiatus before she got ahold of me on myspace and wanted to reconcile. Let me tell you, even if you two get back together, the problems from last time will resurface. Trust me, I know.
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