Sharingan guy Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I met this girl last Monday and even though we just met, the chemistry was unbelievable. Shes one of those good girls that are hard to find. We talk every day and we laugh all the time, and unlike other girls she gives me the time of day and shes nice to me. By Wednesday she was smiling like a little schoolgirl when she saw me. I grew very fond of her and i missed her a lot over the weekend. I kept thinking about her voice, her laugh and her smile and it drove me insane. Tonight (Monday the next week) i told her I was interested in her, notice I said interested so i don't look like she had me in the bag. But she said "i'm not really about relationships right now and that's the truth" But im confused; if the way she acted towards me suggests she likes me does that mean she didn't really like me or that she wants to be friends. I really like this girl, i feel we have the beginning of a wonderful relationship in the making and i want to make sure it happens. Please Help!!!!!
colosseum Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 *sigh* women. Same thing happened to me just a couple weeks ago. 1. She just might not be ready yet, for whatever reason(s)- personal, social, professional, w/e. 2. She might be saying she wants to take it really slowly. But sounds to me like she's pretty adamantly #1. But now that she knows that you're interested, it's up to her. Sucks, I know. So I say 2 options for you; 1) take a leave-of-absence: make her miss you, play her off, etc. or 2) stay in touch with her, be cordial, but don't be fawning over her. The risk with 1) in this case is that since she's not interested in relationships she may just forget about you. I say 2), keep at it, slowly; let her know you're around, but don't fawn ove rher because that will definitely drive her away. Either way, the ball is in her court now, and it's her move. It's your decision to wait for her or move on. Good luck.
You'reasian Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I met this girl last Monday and even though we just met, the chemistry was unbelievable. Shes one of those good girls that are hard to find. We talk every day and we laugh all the time, and unlike other girls she gives me the time of day and shes nice to me. By Wednesday she was smiling like a little schoolgirl when she saw me. I grew very fond of her and i missed her a lot over the weekend. I kept thinking about her voice, her laugh and her smile and it drove me insane. Tonight (Monday the next week) i told her I was interested in her, notice I said interested so i don't look like she had me in the bag. But she said "i'm not really about relationships right now and that's the truth" But im confused; if the way she acted towards me suggests she likes me does that mean she didn't really like me or that she wants to be friends. I really like this girl, i feel we have the beginning of a wonderful relationship in the making and i want to make sure it happens. Please Help!!!!! Put your facts together: 1. The girl is very interested in you. 2. The girl is not into relationships. She is not interested in getting into a "relationship" with you. If you want a relationship, its not going to be with this girl, but it sounds like she wants your unit.
BobSacamento Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Dude whatever just go with it. If she wants to hang and have a good time just go with it. Everyone is obsessed with relationships these days what happened to dating? Honestly you came off as a creeper. You came on way too strong. Screams high maintenance. Some chicks like to be independent. Not have some dude hanging on them 24/7. "I'm really interested in you." dude that's weak. You call that game?
lofi_tokyo Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Put your facts together: 1. The girl is very interested in you. 2. The girl is not into relationships. She is not interested in getting into a "relationship" with you. If you want a relationship, its not going to be with this girl, but it sounds like she wants your unit. Yup I agree with You'reasian. When a girl says shes not interested in a relationship at the moment when a guy asks her out, it is a definite "Im not that into you" response. Lets be honest here, if any girl (and I'd assume this is the same with guys too) met someone that was everything they wanted, or someone that seemed like the perfect catch - would they pass that individual up? No! They'd have to be crazy to do so.
collegekid491 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 FRIEND ZONE ALERT! FRIEND ZONE ALERT! That's her polite way of saying no but keeping the door open in case she changes her mind. On a positive note, I had a girl do this to me, I didn't pressure her at all and we just hung out, then one day she said she 'wanted' me. Many girls want to build a re-pore with you over more then just a day, be a man, respect her answer.
calazhage Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I know what you mean... I was having sex/dating a girl for a month who seemed infatuated with me.. But I asked her as she also seemed a bit aloof, and she said she thinks she is "emotionally unavailable" due to life circumstances that she explained. It might be true, maybe she just wanted sex, or maybe she wasn't into me. At this point it doesn't matter.. Just date other people.
AGBourne Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Its over. Never say, I am interested in you. Matter of fact, don't say much at all. Just take look into her eyes and kiss her. Whatever happens afterwards will tell you if she is into you or not. Stop talking so much and start acting.
You'reasian Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Lets be honest here, if any girl (and I'd assume this is the same with guys too) met someone that was everything they wanted, or someone that seemed like the perfect catch - would they pass that individual up?... Maybe. Depends where they are in life. Circumstances > People
mr.dream merchant Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I mean if you're just gonna kiss her you might as well take out your love stick, force her to the ground, expose her love nest, and forcefully beat it with your stick. Actions are greater than words any ways right? =)
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I mean if you're just gonna kiss her you might as well take out your love stick, force her to the ground, expose her love nest, and forcefully beat it with your stick. Actions are greater than words any ways right? =) This was quite graphic and made me a little horny. Thanks a lot. Anywho - yeah...I may have been just wanting to get back into the dating world when I met my now BF, as in - no relationships, just dating. But he grew on me and now we're together. If she were really as interested in you as you thought, she wouldn't have pushed you off like that. But then again - I agree with those that say "I'm interested in you" was kinda creepy. She may not have been ready to hear that, yet. Would have been better to date her more and eventually just freaking kiss her. At least it would have given her the opportunity to get to know you before rejecting you. I think it's done - back off and just hang out. Maybe one day you can get out of the Friend Zone.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I'm sorry to say this, but when someone says "I'm not ready/looking for a relationship" they mean specifically with you. It is a nice way of blowing someone off without looking too much like a bitch. Enjoying someone's company is not the same as wanting to date them.
calazhage Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 So every woman is always ready for a full relationship? No matter what is going on in their lives? Let's say a woman is being evicted, her dad just died, she might lose her job, and her boyfriend dumped her after cheating on her with her best friend.. Of course the above is extreme, but you get my point..The above girl is ready for a full relationship?
yeex Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I fell into a similar situation recently. I think you did reveal that you were interested in her too early and maybe put her on the spot and that is why she responded that way. That does not mean she does not like you, she just may not be ready for a relationship just like she said. I guess to her "interested" means relationship instead of just wanting to go on dates. If the ball is in her court now, I would not try and call for a couple of weeks. If you do not hear from her at all and you still want to go out with her, then call her and ask for a date. If she does not respond to that, then move on. If she does, then I would just go with the flow and be laid back and don't say things like you are interested and stuff. It is obvious that you are interested if you are asking her out. Just concentrate on having a good time one date at a time and perhaps eventually she will let you know that she is ready to take it to the next level if it works well. Man people get "relationships" and dating confused a lot. They are two separate things. Dating comes first and if it works, then a relationship develops and they become exclusive. Common mistake you made, but you just learned from it just like i did a few weeks ago.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 So every woman is always ready for a full relationship? No matter what is going on in their lives? Let's say a woman is being evicted, her dad just died, she might lose her job, and her boyfriend dumped her after cheating on her with her best friend.. Of course the above is extreme, but you get my point..The above girl is ready for a full relationship? Uh...no. I'm not sure whose post you're referring to in writing this, but in my particular case I had just gotten divorced from a man that cheated on me multiple times. We had been married 4 1/2 years, had been separated for 5 months before getting that divorce, I had just lost my job (and got a new one)... No, I was not ready for a relationship right off the bat when I met my BF in November (divorce finalized for 3 months). I wanted to date. But the more time we spent together, the more the idea grew on me and I wanted a relationship. So like I said in my post - the OP jumped the gun in saying he was interested in the girl - should have dated her a bit more and then just made a move.
RonZilla Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 This happened to me early this year. She said she wasnt looking for a relationship. One week after I found out that shes dating someone else.
jadelil25 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 It sounds like she is interested but she wants to take things slow and see what happens. It sounds like she wants to get to know you more first and establish her feelings towards you. There could be something which happend in her life previously which is affetcting her or she could just have some over problems to sort out frist. It is good that she has been honest with you and the best thing you can do is just enjoy your time together, be there for her and dont put any pressure on her. Just carry on hanging out with her and have fun together and go with the flow. Dont make any moves and be there for her as a friend. Just show her how fun you can be and when she is ready she will let you know. I am sure that it will all be fine! Good luck.
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