Jim82 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 My girlfriend for a month has recently put things on a break because we hung out on a saturday night, and never texted her, or talked to her on the phone the next day, and thats because I usually wait for her text, and she never texted me so I thought she must not want to talk. So i get messages that night around 11:30 saying that her friends think I am taking advantage of her and that I never talked to her that day and she says she doesnt know what to think. And I kept on telling her that I would never take advantage of someone like that, but she says she doesnt know if she can believe me. she said she is tired of texting me first and kissing my butt all the time, I have no clue what that means. But could someone please help me out? because I really like this girl and want to set things right, and hate being put in the category of a player.
Trialbyfire Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Consider yourself lucky that's the only thing she's accused you of. I once had a guy accuse me of crowding him when I rarely initiated first contact. She wants you to meet her halfway. She wants you to do some of the initiation. So, meet her halfway. Alternate contact.
colosseum Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Trialbyfire is right. There has to be some give-and-take. You may feel & think that you like her to yourself all you want, but if you don't show that to her it's meaningless to her. Show her that you care--take initiative. Most guys do the initiating anyways, so she might be taken-back a bit, too.
bravesgirl Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I definitely agree with the two posts above. When girls initiate texting and phone calls, some guys call them stalkers and when guys do it, it means they care. So take the initiative sometimes and make sure that she knows that u like her and care. Friends of girls can sometimes be ur worst enemy, they always need to find drama in other peoples relationships. If u show this girl how u feel and send some sweet gestures then her friends won't be able to make her think otherwise. :love:Good Luck!!
collegekid491 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I definitely agree with the two posts above. When girls initiate texting and phone calls, some guys call them stalkers and when guys do it, it means they care. Ugghhh... not quite. It all depends on how often contact is initiated, just very many times one person's emotional needs are vastly different from the others. Girls who text me or phone me everyday... its clingy, I hate it. If a guy does the same thing to a girl with much less need for assurance, like myself, then same rule applies. May be cute for the first month or 2, after that it get annoying as heck! But you should be making contact at least a few times. Although 100% agree with her friends being bad news.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Her friends sound like pot-stirrers. I'd have a hard time with that. Are they all single man-haters, or what? I think I'd be sitting her down talking to her in person asking her what she meant with the butt-kissing comment. Then I'd talk to her about her friends. Text really is not the best way to have a relationship - too much interpretation can be done. Also would be good if you initiated contact without waiting on her text - not sure why you need that.
MN randomguy Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 she said she is tired of texting me first and kissing my butt all the time, I have no clue what that means. But could someone please help me out? Not that I have great woman skills, or that I'm really good at deciphering young women's codes, but, I think it means that she wants you to initiate contact. Call her and tell her thanks for bringing it up. Let her know that you care about her and want good communication. If there's something bothering her you'd hope she talks to you instead of having her girls make assumptions. Then, follow through. Call her more often.
Author Jim82 Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Thank you for all you answers. I have been initiating contact. But I have a few more questions for you. college kids post made a great point to why I have not been initiating contact. Because I dont want her to lose interest because I initiate contact. But if thats what she wants will it get old after a while. And her best friend loves me. But to tell you the truth this girl goes to a different school, and I do not even know any of her other friends that she talks about. And I am tired of people I don't know making bad assumptions about me, when really in my opinion I am a good person. Trust is an issue and I think her friends that I dont know are trying to turn her against me. But I talked to her last night and I texted her today (hate texting by the way) and her one friend who likes me keeps telling her I am a good guy... so IDK.
Trialbyfire Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 If you've reduced your relationship to the level of game playing, where exactly does trust come into this? Sounds to me like you're trying to generate interest where interest already existed, which caused her to break up with you. Mature relationships are built on trust and respect. This means that both people in the relationship are willing to put some effort into it, instead of solely looking out for themselves. No pain, no gain.
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