Amgila41 Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 [FONT=Arial]So I have been dating a new guy for literally 1 month. This past Saturday in the middle of a make out session, he tell me, I want to make love to you. I stood completely quiet because I didn’t really know how to respond. For two reasons, [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]1. In my opinion, we wouldn’t be making love – just having sex. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]2. I am not ready to have sex. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Things have just happen so quickly with him, he's met my friends, my sister & I have met some of his family. He has even asked me to go away together.. Thngs are good, I dare say great - but a part of me is afraid that if I were to sleep with him, things might change. What are your thoughts… would not responding to his “I want to make love to you” hurt his self esteem? And do you think 1month is too soon to start having sex in a new relationship? [/FONT]
dreamergrl Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Don't have sex with him until you are ready for it. Also, you should be able to talk to him about these things before you have sex with him.
bigmanpayne Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 [FONT=Arial]So I have been dating a new guy for literally 1 month. This past Saturday in the middle of a make out session, he tell me, I want to make love to you. I stood completely quiet because I didn’t really know how to respond. For two reasons, [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]1. In my opinion, we wouldn’t be making love – just having sex. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]2. I am not ready to have sex. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Things have just happen so quickly with him, he's met my friends, my sister & I have met some of his family. He has even asked me to go away together.. Thngs are good, I dare say great - but a part of me is afraid that if I were to sleep with him, things might change. What are your thoughts… would not responding to his “I want to make love to you” hurt his self esteem? And do you think 1month is too soon to start having sex in a new relationship? [/FONT] 1 month is not too soon, but dont rush it if you dont want too. and be honest with him, if it is not love, but just sex then say so. it might eventually turn into a love making session, who knows... but for right now be honest with him when it comes to how you feel.
moman Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Most girls I know get upset if it's referred to as 'sex'. I just generally say "I want you" and that covers the bases Don't give it up until you're ready.
chrislovestosurf Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 one month? geez thats forever! Go have sex! hottie dreamergrl is back whats up baby
Scottdmw Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Nothing at all wrong with waiting. There are plenty of men who feel the same way you do. Scott
mixwell Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Not sure about this but I'm going to take a stab and guess the OP is young ? As you get in your mid 20s sex after a month is a long time. Most my past encounters were after 3-5 dates. Anyways if you aren't ready then don't do it but 1 month isn't too short by a lot of peoples standards but hey you have your own standards so go by what you feel is right and when is right. I waited a year with my 1st g/f but then again I was 16 and we were each others 1st.. haha
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I don't agree with strict guidelines when it comes to sex (ie, "one month isn't long enough to wait"). You have to do it when it feels right TO YOU. You have to make sure that you are mentally prepared for it. Sex changes everything in a relationship - be ready for that.
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 1 month of dating isnt tha long im surprised y'all already havent handled business yet. At least he was nice about it, he has real feelings for you. if he came out like I wanna F you right now would you have responded more favorably?
Ricky01 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 sounds like you two need to talk about this rather than, just act upon it. If you don't want to have sex so easily, then you need to communicate this before he sees it as rejection. By all means wait until you are ready, but let him know what is going on also.
carhill Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 OP, what do you want? I see a lot of reactive here. You're the driving force of YOU. When you worry too much about others (viewpoints or feelings) you lose sight of yourself. You need to understand that most men want to have sex right away, even men like myself who don't (my wife and I dated nearly 3 months before becoming intimate). A mature man can control himself and be respectful of his partner. He can express his attraction in other ways. He can take the time to develop emotional bonds that are deepened by sexual relations. IMO, sex too fast creates a topical layer of sex and the relationship becomes about sex. Deeper, more elemental bonds become more problematical. They can and do develop, but IMO you will see more of the underlying psychological issues in each partner exacerbated by the erstatz intimacy created by quick sexual intimacy. If you each are in it for only the sexual part with no expectation of any emotional involvement, then you have agreement. Go forth and be rabbits
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