Trialbyfire Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I don't get it because he dated some one with weight problems since he was a teenage he has to accept it and stay with her and marry her? Imagine this. You start to lose your hair in the next five years. Your g/f decides that's not acceptable and walks away. Or maybe you start to gain a paunch, from medication, stress or depression and she walks away. Would this be acceptable to you? The balance of that is that he's always known she's battled weight. This isn't something new. So now, she's not working as hard on it and he's got issues with it. This makes no sense to be with someone who doesn't have the same view to living a healthy lifestyle. You have to want to live a healthy lifestyle v. simply doing it for looks. This is fundamental. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Go find yourself some arm trophy and hope to god you can catch her. Good advice, words to live by. Link to post Share on other sites
Saint Valentine Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Green, I feel your pain. There's not much you can do with big girls, except maybe doggie. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Imagine this. You start to lose your hair in the next five years. Your g/f decides that's not acceptable and walks away. Or maybe you start to gain a paunch, from medication, stress or depression and she walks away. Would this be acceptable to you? Of course, it's not like we're married or something. That's why people date before they marry, so they can change their mind. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Yeah...thing is, it's so hard to know what was really going on in that relationship. For all I know, she is lazy...but I just don't think that it's clear what the source of her weight gain is. There could be depression or some other stuff going on. That OP said some things that could be interpreted as cruel, but maybe he's just blowing off steam here on LS so as to get it out of his system...so hard to tell what a person really thinks about their partner from a post or two. Calling someone "lazy" could just be a rant or it could be a long-term, considered opinion after 6 years. Which one it is makes all the difference to the relationship. (And to the proper advice to give the OP as well!!) "Lazy" is a provocative term. "Lack of motivation" would have been more politic. If someone is so exercised by a significant other's weight gain that they come here to gripe, that does not bode well for the relationship. The other possibility is that the OP simply wanted to incite the mostly female Shackers knowing that they would be defensive on his slandered girl friend's behalf. Gender wars? Here, all advice is politics; all politics is advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I don't think there is anything wrong with not being attracted to whatever body type you aren't attracted to. What's messed up are the comments about over weight people that are meant to be slanderous and rude. Grow up. You aren't in 5th grade anymore hopefully. Secondly, does this mean if I start dating someone who makes alot of money, and then he gets a pay cut or looses his job or whatever reason it could be for him to be making less money, do I get to dump him with the understanding that he changed? Do ya think men would be down with that? Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 The blond girl in the swimsuit would have an ideal figure if she had a defined waist. I think that is what you guys don't like about her. The dancer is really thin IMO, and this is coming from a petite person. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I don't get it because he dated some one with weight problems since he was a teenage he has to accept it and stay with her and marry her? I think what TBF meant was it's one thing to have dating preferences and another to change your dating preferences in the middle of a relationship, putting those preferences over the emotions you feel for the person. It's not WRONG to dump someone for gaining weight but the sooner you get the hurt over with, the better for both people. Link to post Share on other sites
Saint Valentine Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 That's why people date before they marry, so they can change their mind. You can change you mind afterwards if you want - it's no big deal these days. Any trivial thing will do as an excuse, as long as you give it a fancy name like "irreconcilable differences" or something. Let's face it - after five to seven years with the same old nagging bitch, it's time for a change. Sooner if they're piling on the pounds. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 .... does this mean if I start dating someone who makes alot of money, and then he gets a pay cut or looses his job or whatever reason it could be for him to be making less money, do I get to dump him with the understanding that he changed? Do ya think men would be down with that? It makes sense, however a wise person would consider the permanence of the current condition. In my experience women tend to be attracted to the traits that also lend themselves to being successful. They instinctively use wealth as a shortcut; in essence 'he has earned a lot of money, so he's probably got the traits that turn me on', although I doubt it's actually a conscious thought in most cases. So if he still has those traits it's probably unlikely she will bail out, since it was probably those traits she was after ultimately anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 The blond girl in the swimsuit would have an ideal figure if she had a defined waist. I think that is what you guys don't like about her. The dancer is really thin IMO, and this is coming from a petite person. Actually she's a little soft in the waist but her face is not good. I'm a sucker for a pretty face. If she had a better figure or a pretty face she'd be OK. The dancer is hot, but I love the build of dancers. Just a thing I have. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 The blond girl in the swimsuit would have an ideal figure if she had a defined waist. I think that is what you guys don't like about her. The dancer is really thin IMO, and this is coming from a petite person. I meant to qualify this statement. I think she looks good and athletic--but very sinewy in the arms. I'd cite her as an example of someone at the bottom range of healthy weight. I think Green had the right idea in posting three pictures of ideal weights. One was skinny, one was around average (blond girl in swimsuit) and one was kind of fleshy (JLH after weight gain). All three are probably healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Actually she's a little soft in the waist but her face is not good. I'm a sucker for a pretty face. If she had a better figure or a pretty face she'd be OK. The dancer is hot, but I love the build of dancers. Just a thing I have. I thought we were just evaluating figures on this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 "Lazy" is a provocative term. "Lack of motivation" would have been more politic. If someone is so exercised by a significant other's weight gain that they come here to gripe, that does not bode well for the relationship. The other possibility is that the OP simply wanted to incite the mostly female Shackers knowing that they would be defensive on his slandered girl friend's behalf. Gender wars? Here, all advice is politics; all politics is advice. So true. But people do come to LS just to blow off steam, using it basically like a journal (and they tend to forget there are people on the receiving end who are inclined to weigh in in ways they didn't anticipate). It's difficult to categorize the state of someone's relationship just through one entry. Anyone reading my journals over the years would think I was a miserable creature...but we tend to post when we feel miserable, weighting things unfairly. On the other hand, this is a message board, and I really don't think I'd feel comfortable calling my BF "lazy" to a bunch of strangers. It's so disrespectful. That said...you're right, and I think certain posters have, in fact, openly acknowledged they enjoy inciting people and just plain making them mad. Whee, I guess. I can't really understand why that's fun; seems more sociopathic to me. But I guess it takes all kinds to make a world. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Green Posted March 2, 2009 Author Share Posted March 2, 2009 I don't think there is anything wrong with not being attracted to whatever body type you aren't attracted to. What's messed up are the comments about over weight people that are meant to be slanderous and rude. Grow up. You aren't in 5th grade anymore hopefully. Secondly, does this mean if I start dating someone who makes alot of money, and then he gets a pay cut or looses his job or whatever reason it could be for him to be making less money, do I get to dump him with the understanding that he changed? Do ya think men would be down with that? seriously if you were dating a man and he had a job and seemed like he was motivated and living his life and then he lost the job, was not looking for a new job and was asking for help with his rent money you would not be happy Link to post Share on other sites
Saint Valentine Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 (and they tend to forget there are people on the receiving end who are inclined to weigh in in ways they didn't anticipate). You're funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Saint Valentine Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 seriously if you were dating a man and he had a job and seemed like he was motivated and living his life and then he lost the job, was not looking for a new job and was asking for help with his rent money you would not be happy I would be like "Latah!" Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I was looking at the photos in the OP again, and is a little OT - but is that last picture of Kirstie Alley?? Link to post Share on other sites
moman Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 How do I tell the girl I"m dating that's she getting fat? I was hoping she would take a clue from my lead in eating salads and light sandwiches, but she orders everything fried and high calorie meals (pasta, etc). She's about 10 lbs overweight, but I can def. see her getting big if she doesn't stop now (at age 25). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Green Posted March 2, 2009 Author Share Posted March 2, 2009 I was looking at the photos in the OP again, and is a little OT - but is that last picture of Kirstie Alley?? The pictures were OT how so, please don't be so kryptic and yes it was Kirstie Alley. I slapped this togather really quick and it was a pain in the ass finding anything but Supper fat girls and super in shape girls. Hot chick fat chick http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/Tomtastic/FatChick.png hot chick http://www.hollyscoop.com/BlogImages/48900755---5.jpg big boobs http://s11.photobucket.com/albums/a176/rustytrombone1027/?action=view¤t=hot21.jpg ugly as heck chick http://linuxtards.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/hot_chick_in_the_pool.jpg and is this even a chick... or a dude hmmm http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/gallery/2004/05/13/tildaianwestpa2333.jpg Link to post Share on other sites
fral945 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I don’t know exactly what you mean by fat, but there are many attractive women who are slightly overweight (at least IMO). And there is porn out there specifically geared towards chubby chasers, so obviously some guys do really like fat girls. I find myself attracted most to women quite a bit heavier than the Hollywood types. 10-20 lbs extra doesn't bother me, but I do find myself turned off by the extreme ends (very thin women and very fat women). For me if a woman is overweight it’s where the weight is distributed that makes a difference. If they carry 10-20 (or even 30) extra lbs. of weight in the boobs and hips it’s ok to me and actually very attractive. If they carry it around their waist (or you’re talking about gaining 50+ lbs) it’s usually unattractive. The danger with any overweight or obese women is you can usually tell their lifestyle is not geared to health and long term weight maintenance. They usually have no clue how to eat properly and/or aren’t very motivated to eat right and exercise, and will get offended when you bring up the topic. Therefore, you are taking a big risk and are likely on a slippery slope to having a really fat woman on your hands barring a major lifestyle and mindset change. Best bet is to either find a woman who has figured out how to eat properly and exercises (even if she is a bit overweight) or find a woman who is naturally thin no matter what she eats or what kind of exercise she does. Otherwise, you'll probably have a fat wife one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Green Posted March 2, 2009 Author Share Posted March 2, 2009 How do I tell the girl I"m dating that's she getting fat? I was hoping she would take a clue from my lead in eating salads and light sandwiches, but she orders everything fried and high calorie meals (pasta, etc). She's about 10 lbs overweight, but I can def. see her getting big if she doesn't stop now (at age 25). nothing you can do really not a thing. Seriously I told my gf who is so hot and sexy to me that she is perfect and I would have a big prob if she put on say 30 lbs. My gf works out and doesn't eat like a pig its who she is and seriously enough with the people talking about what if she gains weight with age or gets hurt or sick those are diff situations then the tons of people who have no self respect for themselves or their bodies. you can choose to accept her or leave her you can't change her. obviously don't contribute by buying her deserts or fried food Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Green, you should have added some controls... made all the girls about the same age, not included actresses, and x'ed out their faces so people wouldn't judge on their faces. Then we would have more accurate feedback about what guys find most attractive. But the truth is every guy has an individual preference and he will be biased if he likes the girl enough. Link to post Share on other sites
39388 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I think I speak for myself and a large number of people when I say fat girls are unattractive. Some overweight women are very attractive to me and some are not. What's really ugly and disgusting are people who make blanket statements like this :mad: Link to post Share on other sites
Author Green Posted March 2, 2009 Author Share Posted March 2, 2009 I don’t know exactly what you mean by fat, but there are many attractive women who are slightly overweight (at least IMO). And there is porn out there specifically geared towards chubby chasers, so obviously some guys do really like fat girls. I find myself attracted most to women quite a bit heavier than the Hollywood types. 10-20 lbs extra doesn't bother me, but I do find myself turned off by the extreme ends (very thin women and very fat women). For me if a woman is overweight it’s where the weight is distributed that makes a difference. If they carry 10-20 (or even 30) extra lbs. of weight in the boobs and hips it’s ok to me and actually very attractive. If they carry it around their waist (or you’re talking about gaining 50+ lbs) it’s usually unattractive. The danger with any overweight or obese women is you can usually tell their lifestyle is not geared to health and long term weight maintenance. They usually have no clue how to eat properly and/or aren’t very motivated to eat right and exercise, and will get offended when you bring up the topic. Therefore, you are taking a big risk and are likely on a slippery slope to having a really fat woman on your hands barring a major lifestyle and mindset change. Best bet is to either find a woman who has figured out how to eat properly and exercises (even if she is a bit overweight) or find a woman who is naturally thin no matter what she eats or what kind of exercise she does. Otherwise, you'll probably have a fat wife one day. when I talk about fat I mean the way they look. Like say a woman was 5'6 and weighed 170lbs but ate healthy and was only big because it was her genetics but she was active she could easily look better then some woman who is 20 lbs less lives a sedentary life style and eats junk food all the time. it is all about how the weight is distributed how the skin looks... but there are alot of sloppy looking fat women out there who snack and eat junk food and barely any protien or fruits and vegitables and barely even WALK. and man there is porn geared toward everything Doesn't mean clowns are sexy just because there is porn of clowns screwin same goes for the fat porn or Pregnant porn or beastality. If it exist there is porn of it Link to post Share on other sites
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