KaroP Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Hi everyone, Been dating this woman now for almost a year and a half and for the most part things are great. When things are good they are really, really good but when we argue its as if I completely dont understand her train of thought at all. For some reason she tends to victimize herself a lot, but that I mean that she refuses to take responsibility for any argument and to this day all our fights in her opinion were and are entirely my fault. It's always my fault she is angry, my fault that she had to raise her voice, my fault that we are fighting, my fault that I'm upset. This alone is not even the end of the world but what gets me most is that for example she will call me swear words and degrading names including swear at me and raise her voice but when much less frequently I call her a bad name (one that is not even as demeening as the ones she calls me all too often) give her a teste of her own medicine she absolutely loses it and tells me I'm abusing her and that I'm a dog for treating her this way and that she is dumping me. For some reason she always has some excuse for treating me the way she does but when I mirror her and give her a small taste of her medicine I cross some line and become an abuser. I always tell her our fights are both of our faults and we should try to work on making things better and avoiding them mutually where as she insists that she has nothing to improve on and its all me me me! Any ideas on how I can get through to her on this? She is so presistent sometimes she almost has me convinced that I'm the crazy one I have to resort to people on the outside to give me a reality check and confirm I'm not nuts. Any similar experiences and what worked to fix this? Id appreciate any help
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