calazhage Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I am confused.. You work together, and your relationships is a secret. Don't talk much at work.. When you go out, you go out as friends..Don't really formally date.. But then you have sex, and he is not cuddling you.. Sounds like you are friends with benefits? You made a move on him to sleep with him..So he did, and doesn't cuddle you.. I am sorry, but cuddling after sex is a pretty easy thing to do. I doubt he would be "scared of getting close", so he is scared to cuddle you..I mean you are already having sex.. It seems you skipped the dating part.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 I am confused.. You work together, and your relationships is a secret. Don't talk much at work.. When you go out, you go out as friends..Don't really formally date.. But then you have sex, and he is not cuddling you.. Sounds like you are friends with benefits? You made a move on him to sleep with him..So he did, and doesn't cuddle you.. I am sorry, but cuddling after sex is a pretty easy thing to do. I doubt he would be "scared of getting close", so he is scared to cuddle you..I mean you are already having sex.. It seems you skipped the dating part. Yes, we skipped the dating part. We went from co-workers- friends who work together - to boyfriend and girlfriend But if he didn't want that anymore, I believe he would tell me.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 I am confused.. You work together, and your relationships is a secret. Don't talk much at work.. When you go out, you go out as friends..Don't really formally date.. But then you have sex, and he is not cuddling you.. Sounds like you are friends with benefits? You made a move on him to sleep with him..So he did, and doesn't cuddle you.. I am sorry, but cuddling after sex is a pretty easy thing to do. I doubt he would be "scared of getting close", so he is scared to cuddle you..I mean you are already having sex.. It seems you skipped the dating part. We are NOT FWB, he calls me his gf. Has told all his friends about me, his mom. Took me out on a very very very nice V-day date. Is very caring, always opens up my door, etc...
calazhage Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Well he is getting secret sex, lol.. What is there to say he does not want?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 What is there to say he does not want? What?!? I don't understand what you mean? He had a FWB before me, and choose to have a relationship with me over that. If he just wanted sex he would have been upfront about it.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Should I talk to him about this and maybe slow down on the sex? After we had sex too soon, he offered to slow down if I wanted, but I didn't see the need to do that so I said no.
mr.dream merchant Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 What?!? I don't understand what you mean? He had a FWB before me, and choose to have a relationship with me over that. If he just wanted sex he would have been upfront about it. Maybe he's screwing both of you and you don't yet realize you're his favorite FWB?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Maybe he's screwing both of you and you don't yet realize you're his favorite FWB? No he is definately not seeing both of us. He is not like that at all. I just trust him. He isn't that kind of guy. He calls me is GF... not his FWB.
calazhage Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 If I like a woman, I want to cuddle with her. Period.. I think you are grasping for straws to assume since he was hurt over 3 years ago, he is afraid to cuddle. Either A. He is not that into you. B. Something about you seems cold
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 If I like a woman, I want to cuddle with her. Period.. I think you are grasping for straws to assume since he was hurt over 3 years ago, he is afraid to cuddle. Either A. He is not that into you. B. Something about you seems cold Thanks, but OUCH!
calazhage Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I have dated some girls that were very affectionate, and led the way in the regard. It was easy to be affectionate with them. Some girls I wanted to be affectionate with, but something was awkward. I am the same guy, displaying varying levels of affection. But never cuddle is odd.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 One can never have sex too soon. Sex is wonderful cardiovascular exercise. LOL Yes he is the first guy that I moved so fast with, and he didn't seem to think of me poorly. We discussed it, and he asked me if I wanted to slow down and I said no. He is still a nice guy and does not treat me like a FWB, there is just no cuddiling.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 But never cuddle is odd. Yeah I mean he cuddles, but no more than 4 minutes for example. This morning he left to go to work, and I didn't have to work till later, so I stayed at his place. On his way out he gave me a kiss on the check while I was sleeping. He does not kiss FWB, he kisses me all the time.
calazhage Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Its not that he "doesn't cuddle enough" he actually doesn't cuddle AT ALL. . Well which is it?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Well which is it? Well 4 minutes is kind of like not at all. You're right sorry about that. He does but BARELY. 2-4 minutes MAX
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Yeah I agree. I sleep in his bed naked every time I'm there. Naked cuddling is the best kind.
Geishawhelk Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Oh shaddup...... You make it sound as if affection equals sex to you, and sex equals sex, and sex is all that matters. The flip remarks stop being funny after a while. Sorry, but they do....
jadelil25 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Communication is key. It is an important thing to have in a relationship. There could be an underlying problem which is making him like this and he has felt scared to open up to you because he is worried about pushing you away or about getting hurt. Just sit down and have a talk. Let him know how you feel and ask him how he feels. Be open with him and this may make him feel more comftable about opening up to you. I know 2 months is quite early in a relationship but I feel communication is more important earlier on because you are still learning about each other. I am sure that it will all be fine.
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