calazhage Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Yeah he hasn't had a real relationship in 3-4 years, so I think he just has his walls up. That is what I think is really going on. He is scared because of what has happened to him. I think we all try to tell ourselves this when the person does not seem very into us..
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 I think we all try to tell ourselves this when the person does not seem very into us.. Agree. But then why is he with me? He could get ass from his FWB before me.
calazhage Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Usually if something does not seem right, it isn't. Go with your intuition..
ruggy Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 It is confusing. Normally, you should have been engaged for at least a couple of weeks by now. Weird. Maybe you need to take the lead, and extend your foreplay. Make sex totally about his pleasure, and let your affectionate tongue and mouth wander all over his most sensitive erogenous zones. And don't be afraid to insert a lubed digit for added stimulation. If you focus completely on him, then he will begin to "fill up" with loving feelings for you. Pretty soon he won't be able to keep his hands off you. You will be his teacher. Wish more women would be this considerate. Rarely happens.
Touche Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Wish more women would be this considerate. Rarely happens. Yeah, most of us are needy bitches aren't we?
darby1 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 From what I hear in guy talk.. he is not that into you. He likes you! but he isn't in love with you yet. sorry. But I have close guy friends and they all say the same thing.. they only like cuddling with their girlfriend when they are in love, because they don't want to lead her on (haha! men.) and its uncomfortable for them otherwise. That is the statement from guys who don't like to cuddle. There are however guys who love to cuddle and it don't matter if it's love or not. Give it time.. or move on.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 From what I hear in guy talk.. he is not that into you. He likes you! but he isn't in love with you yet. sorry. But I have close guy friends and they all say the same thing.. they only like cuddling with their girlfriend when they are in love, because they don't want to lead her on (haha! men.) and its uncomfortable for them otherwise. That is the statement from guys who don't like to cuddle. There are however guys who love to cuddle and it don't matter if it's love or not. Give it time.. or move on. Give it time or move on, or should I ask him about it?
Touche Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 From what I hear in guy talk.. he is not that into you. He likes you! but he isn't in love with you yet. sorry. But I have close guy friends and they all say the same thing.. they only like cuddling with their girlfriend when they are in love, because they don't want to lead her on (haha! men.) and its uncomfortable for them otherwise. That is the statement from guys who don't like to cuddle. There are however guys who love to cuddle and it don't matter if it's love or not. Give it time.. or move on. That's true but there are also men who are in love with you who AREN'T affectionate. I mean my ex-H was in love enough to want to marry me. But yet he was hardly ever affectionate.
calazhage Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Have you tried to cuddle him? Does he push you away? Are we missing something? You like him enough to be having sex, yet are considering moving on because he doesn't cuddle enough, and you might not even ask him why?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Have you tried to cuddle him? Does he push you away? Are we missing something? You like him enough to be having sex, yet are considering moving on because he doesn't cuddle enough, and you might not even ask him why? Oh I like him a little bit too much and thats the problem. I have had a crush on him for so long, that now that I am with him I am too scared to tell him I want him to cuddle more because I am afraid its too much too soon for him. He is so sweet in a lot of other ways, and if he didn't want to be with me, he would just tell me. He actually got upset the other night when my EX called me, so if I was just a little piece of ass to him then he should not have cared. Its not that he "doesn't cuddle enough" he actually doesn't cuddle AT ALL. I want to definately ask him, because it bothers me, but I just don't want it to be too soon. Maybe he just needs more time, and I know he isn't "in love" with me yet. I don't want to scare him off or do something he isn't ready for, by me bringing it up.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 You're so right - take it slow. Try to enjoy the good stuff, and let things develop in their own time. Are you being serious or sarcastic? I really need advice as to if I should wait it out and give him time, or tell him how I feel now. What do I have to lose? Him, if he isn't ready for that, but maybe eventually he would be if I just keep my mouth shut.
Touche Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 You're so right - take it slow. Try to enjoy the good stuff, and let things develop in their own time. Uhm, they're already having sex. Too late for that advice St. V.
Trialbyfire Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Oh I like him a little bit too much and thats the problem. I have had a crush on him for so long, that now that I am with him I am too scared to tell him I want him to cuddle more because I am afraid its too much too soon for him. He is so sweet in a lot of other ways, and if he didn't want to be with me, he would just tell me. He actually got upset the other night when my EX called me, so if I was just a little piece of ass to him then he should not have cared. Its not that he "doesn't cuddle enough" he actually doesn't cuddle AT ALL. I want to definately ask him, because it bothers me, but I just don't want it to be too soon. Maybe he just needs more time, and I know he isn't "in love" with me yet. I don't want to scare him off or do something he isn't ready for, by me bringing it up. Fear of loss should never stymy your needs. The sooner you mention it, in a way that's relaxed, the less of a big deal it becomes. It's when you're harbouring resentments that it comes out with more anger and aggression, than need be. This is when women get accused of over-reacting.
spookie Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I didn't read the whole thread so I'm sorry if this has already been discussed, but was it like this from the beginning? If so, how did you end up in a relationship, in the first place? It seems like spooning usually leads to forking, if you know what I mean... how did you get to the R and the sex without being affectionate first?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Fear of loss should never stymy your needs. The sooner you mention it, in a way that's relaxed, the less of a big deal it becomes. It's when you're harbouring resentments that it comes out with more anger and aggression, than need be. This is when women get accused of over-reacting. Yeah you're right thanks. I guess I will just bring it up the next time I with him. Its kind of a weird situation. We work together any no one at work knows, so at work we act like we are just friends, but we don't talk all that much at work, because people are already on to us. So it seems like in our private time together, he kind of acts the same way. I know he must be into me. The other night we went out with some of my friends for the first time, and he got up to go to the bathroom, on his way to the bathroom he found the waitress and picked up the whole tab. He isn't rich, he just did it because he is a nice guy. He would never lead a girl on if all he wanted was sex. He would just be upfront about it, and tell the girl he just wanted sex and make sure she felt the sameway.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 I didn't read the whole thread so I'm sorry if this has already been discussed, but was it like this from the beginning? If so, how did you end up in a relationship, in the first place? It seems like spooning usually leads to forking, if you know what I mean... how did you get to the R and the sex without being affectionate first? Well we work together, and we would go out as friends... kind of got the idea that he liked me. One night at a party with his friends we got trashed together, and his friends kept telling me he liked me, but was scared because of his past. They told me he was too shy and that if I felt the sameway I needed to say something so that I always wouldn't be wondering what if. So I told him that night, and we made it "official" we wound up sleeping together that night. I have worked with him for 2.5 years, but YES I know it was a stupid move. We talked about it afterwards and he seems to not hold that against me. I have meet all of his friends, and he does a lot of sweet little things for me. We have discussed working together before, and agreed that if one of us wanted out.... we wouldn't wait we would tell the other person. He was there when I broke up with my EX, and it took me 5+ months to do it, and he just said don't do that to me.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 wait so you cheated on your ex with him? Nope never, I was single for 9+ months. I just worked with him so he knew.
You'reasian Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 wait so you cheated on your ex with him? I don't think anyone would admit it anyways. Hopefully, she can get it on with this guy at work, unfortunately most relationships started at work usually come to an akward situation - seems more so if its between public school teachers, but that's just a rumor.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 I don't think anyone would admit it anyways. Hopefully, she can get it on with this guy at work, unfortunately most relationships started at work usually come to an akward situation - seems more so if its between public school teachers, but that's just a rumor. No I really was single for 9+ months. Remember I have said before that we were both too shy to say anything until recently. Yeah, everyone keeps telling me that he must be interested, but probably just not a very affectionate person. I guess I will just have to bring it up to him.
Touche Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Of course! Okie, dokie. I've never been cold after sex personally. I'm usually pretty hot actually.
You'reasian Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Okie, dokie. I've never been cold after sex personally. I'm usually pretty hot actually. hot or hawt?
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