mlh5046 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 On when you are dating a girl steady and you have a close friend who is a girl ( known for years). I had a gf for 2 years but we fought a few times about this other girls presence in my life. She wasn't over bearing, but she talked to me on a basis as a good guy friend, say 3 times a week. There is also speculation she might have a crush on you, but I had assured my girlfriend that she was just a friend and I had no attraction. Which was true, I loved my gf and would not put this girl over her. At the same time I told her I could not cut this girl out of my life. It would kill her, it would be terrible on my part would it not? My question is should I have made some sort of barrier with this other girl? And could it have really been a force for the breakup, I know it really bothered her, but she was sick of fighting about it I think. Maybe in hindsight I guess I had to pick, ahhhh regret......
messed-mind Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 You need to sit your friend down and explain to her face-to-face that your "friendship" needs to cool off for a bit because of the insecurities of the other girl. If she's a proper true friend, she'll understand and give you some room to work on your romantic life. If she makes a big deal of it, she's an attention seeker and you need to get her out your life and stop worring about it whenever you get into a relationship. What is your single motivator that's keeping you hanging on for this "friend"? Is she really a brilliant person you can't live without?
Geishawhelk Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Level platonic relationships are extremely rare, because one half of this P.R has deeper more complicated feelings. And you said yourself, there is also speculation she might have a crush on you, and speculations are there for a reason.... Your GF felt insecure and threatened by the presence of your girl-buddy, and sense she had deeper feelings for you. Don't tell me she didn't know, or wasn't aware. trust me, girls can read each other like a book. She knew. And then you say: I loved my gf and would not put this girl over her But you did. You didn't do anything to stem the contact. At the same time I told her I could not cut this girl out of my life. It would kill her Why? It wouldn't 'kill her', of course it wouldn't. The thing to do in these cases is to try to get the girls to cultivate a friendship of their own, or if that doesn't work, cut out the platonic girl, and play it down. I'm sure it was a subconscious ego-boost to have two ladies on your doorstep. How flattering is that....? Hence the reluctance on your part to ditch one admirer..... Inevitably, there'll be tears before bedtime..... Foolish lad.
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