newdater Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I have been dating this girl for 6 weeks now and we finally had sex last night. The problem is I did not cum. I know why. Its because I had a lot on my mind during sex such as her recent medical procedure that limits her daily activities and was trying to be careful not to hurt her but hse had to stop twice b/c of it. She later gave me head to try to get me off but that didnt work. This was probably because I relieved myself earlier that day so that the sex could last longer but it didnt b/ cshe was hurting and had to stop. After sex, she said she feels bad. I was like don’t be its not your fault but never really explained why. I just blamed it on the condom. Later that night she went home and I frenched kissed her good bye. We seem to get along great and it seemed things were progressing still but I havent heard from her yet and I was wandering maybe she feels bad about last night. Earlier today I called her and wanted to explain in details why about last night but no answer??? How long should I wait? I was thinking of texting her later tonight that I enjoyed Friday night and looking forward in seeing you again. Is this normal when people have sex during dating she still plays phone games?? [/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I also feel guilty that I didn’t let her know I had a great time but had called to tell her that the next day but no answer. I have yet to hear from her. If I don’t hear from her. I will call her tonight again one last time just to let her know I really did enjoy Friday night. Or maybe she is still taking our relationship slow and seeing how interested I am? She sometimes does this crap. Never answer my calls and calls me a day or 2 later and says “Oh I didn’t do much the other day but stay home and study” which she does do. I haven’t dated anybody like this??? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I know I should have been honest and told her after we had sex but im not good at expressing myself sometimes but getting better. [/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
Artu Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Just call her and invite her to a cup of coffee , talk to her ,but do not touch that night story ... Just chat of light topics and let her feel so good to open herself up and kiss her gently this time without any pressure asking her if she feels good about spending a romantic night with you.. Perhaps she feels same awkward about all this story, and not only you are seeking answers,but her too .. So, be brave,and make her come out and open up a bit ..
Author newdater Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 Just call her and invite her to a cup of coffee , talk to her ,but do not touch that night story ... Just chat of light topics and let her feel so good to open herself up and kiss her gently this time without any pressure asking her if she feels good about spending a romantic night with you.. Perhaps she feels same awkward about all this story, and not only you are seeking answers,but her too .. So, be brave,and make her come out and open up a bit .. I did call her yesterday and no answer. So you saying I should call again and leave a better message this time???
Author newdater Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 correction to my reply........ i called yesterday and havent heard from her yet. im confused or she is rejecting me but I did not get any signs of that.
Peter_pan Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 odd. you have left a message and been polite. if you dont hear dont keep calling. no no no no no no wait and see. hope its all good for you though
spider2000 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 It sounds like she is a difficult one. And no, dont call her yet! Be patient! See if she calls you, you will feel much better if she do. You could come as needy and annoying. Be strong. Believe me. Play it cool. I dated a coworker of mine who was like that, very flaky, always going from hot to cold... Played games like yours did. I played cool in the beggining, but in the end it drove me crazy and I became emotional. This drove her away. And about you not getting it off. Dont come with excuses, being all serious... Have a laugh about it. And again: Be cool! Act confident! The opposite can kill attraction!
Author newdater Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 If I dont here from her by tonight. All I was going to say was" I had a great time Friday night and looking foward in seeing you again" or texting her this message and thats it. If I dont hear from her never again. Is that to much? I mean I feel guilty didnt let her know that. She might be thinking well he didnt have a good time. Or does me calling the next day still show enough interest?
Artu Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 If I dont here from her by tonight. All I was going to say was" I had a great time Friday night and looking foward in seeing you again" or texting her this message and thats it. If I dont hear from her never again. Is that to much? I mean I feel guilty didnt let her know that. She might be thinking well he didnt have a good time. Or does me calling the next day still show enough interest? Text her the words you were going to say to her .
Author newdater Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 yes. I think thats what i will do is just text her those words and put the ball in her court. She did etxt me when she got home saying" i made it home but I didnt get lost this time. they had a bad accident and i had to ttake a detour" so i text he rback and said, ""glad you made it home safely again. good night" this was Saturday early morning. This is where I feel like I should have said I had a great time like all our prevoius dates but it didnt happen but I really did. I just had a lot on my mind and I was sleeping when she text me.
Author newdater Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 It sounds like she is a difficult one. And no, dont call her yet! Be patient! See if she calls you, you will feel much better if she do. You could come as needy and annoying. Be strong. Believe me. Play it cool. I dated a coworker of mine who was like that, very flaky, always going from hot to cold... Played games like yours did. I played cool in the beggining, but in the end it drove me crazy and I became emotional. This drove her away. And about you not getting it off. Dont come with excuses, being all serious... Have a laugh about it. And again: Be cool! Act confident! The opposite can kill attraction! i actually did joke about it. I told her I was superman. lol
Author newdater Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 i texted her and just as I expected no call. I actually am starting to think she only wanted me for sex. lol I thought that from the get go. we really didnt have that much chemistry. we are to much alike. i was ok with just sex but i guess her expectations were not met when we did. but they were reasons for that that she probably isnt taking in account. and I wanted to explain. ugh. i wanted a sex buddy. oh well.
northstar1 Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 I did call her yesterday and no answer. So you saying I should call again and leave a better message this time??? No. Leave it. You've reached out. The ball is in her court now. However, if she's going to be hot and cold already, and is going to be that critical of the first time having sex being awkward, then this might not be someone you want to waste a lot of time on.
Author newdater Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 your right. I no that we arent that compatitble. its just it was fun dating someone and starting to have sex again because its been awhile. but now im getting back in the game and going to go out more.
Author newdater Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 another thing I dont understand. she gave me oral at the end of sex. now that tells me she is interested. and she may be one of the few woman take it personal that I didnt cum.??
Dawn26 Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 From a girls point of view, maybe she's embarrassed. It's possible to think that she may think you didnt find her attractive enough, who knows! Or she really did think the sex sucked and wants to move on to greener pastures..maybe, maybe not.
missdependant Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Next time don't jack off to make youself last longer.. I, along with many other women do not orgasm from sex alone anyway. Foreplay seems better, so I would suggest doing something nice for HER first. Afterward, have sex, and if you don't last long it won't matter.. and you will have both been pleasured. I always feel very disappointed in myself if I cannot make my guy come, and I do believe many other women feel this as well; especially in new relationships. It's a total ego destructor. Unless I do stand alone on this.. but from EVERY SINGLE discussion I have had with my close female friends, we have all been able to agree that foreplay feels better than sex.. and sex gets boring if it lasts more than about 15-20 minutes. Average amount of time before a man comes is at like 7 minutes or so.. Don't worry about lasting all night.
bean1 Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 I think a mature woman knows that a man may have difficulty sometimes (especially the first time with a new woman due to nerves). If she takes issue with that, then the needs a bit more growing up (or experience ). Then again, she may not have enjoyed the sex, or didn't find you compatible, or got hit by a bus, who knows! Keep dating others!
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Yes - quit calling/texting for a day or two. At that point, I'd give it one more phone call and if she's non-responsive, give up on her.
ruggy Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Tough break dude. I agree with just giving it time. If she is interested in you again she'll contact you. It would be then up to you if you want to see her again.
Author newdater Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 I think a mature woman knows that a man may have difficulty sometimes (especially the first time with a new woman due to nerves). If she takes issue with that, then the needs a bit more growing up (or experience ). Then again, she may not have enjoyed the sex, or didn't find you compatible, or got hit by a bus, who knows! Keep dating others! thanks for the replies. I have dated her for 6 weeks and I do think she needs some growing up to do for her age. I already have another date for next weekend with another girl.
Author newdater Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 update-----For some reason I felt I needed to tell this girl what happened that night. So I texted her Sunday and told her. SHe never responded. Which I thought was strange because she calls me tonight and tells me she figured something like that might have been going on as if why I didnt get off. And says call her. This girl is confusing the hell out of me. I feel used. She only calls when its convenient for her. but at least she puts out.
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