braym20 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 OK so here is the jist of it. This girl and my self have been talking for over a year feelings have developed and this morning she told me that last night she was drinking and she let someone do a body shot of off her and then he kissed her afterwards and it really hurt me when she told me this. She broke down and cried after i told her that it really did upset me is this something i should be concerned about or take it likely considering alcholol was involved ... responses would be greatly appreciated thank you
Geishawhelk Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Have you actually met? Do you know each other, other than just 'talking'? If not - this isn't a relationship. This is just a liason between two people over the net, and alcohol has nothing to do with it, other than it just loosened her up a little bit and she did what she felt like doing, a little more liberally. Had she been blind senseless drunk, she wouldn't be remembering anything. having a little drink is no excuse for any type of behaviour. Unless you two are in a committed, exclusive agreed relationship - she owes you nothing, and you're in the same boat. If for some reason, you have committed to one another, even though it sounds as if you haven't ever stood in the same room as one another - then you're both extremely foolish, because you cannot consider running a relationship on this basis alone.
Author braym20 Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 we used to go to the same college. Did also commit to this when she moved back to california you brits really are donkeys with jumping the gun thinking you know everything really FOOLISH if you ask me
Nicodaemos Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Ok, I understand ya may be hurt, but you asked for an opinion on a public forum, getting something you dont like does not warrant any kind of name calling. That said, drunkenness is never an excuse for any action. You choose to drink, knowing it inhibits thinking. You talk with her, and told her that you felt hurt, which seems that its good yall are talking that openly. You said feeling developed, were they ever discussed? Merely having them, and admitting they are there, helps, but really doesnt put anything final. You never stated in the original post that you both did commit. If you did, things need to be worked out. Dont stop talking, talk, get it taken care of.
bravesgirl Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 I would say first of all that its gonna be hard to trust her after this, but she also told u about it so I would give her the benefit of the doubt. And she cried so she probably feels horrible and will not do it again unless she is doing the trickiest move in the book that girls are great at...crying. If you really like her stick with it and stay with her. People make mistakes and you will find out soon enough if she genuinely cares about you and wants to be true to you. Good Luck! I hope it works out!!
Island Girl Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 With the information you gave I would have responded much like Geisha. Shame on for for name calling when you asked for responses. You may not agree with some of the opinions posted here. Pick and choose all you like. It is up to you, braym20, to give us all of the pertinent details. Even now there is much you could have elaborated on. How it started out, friends or dating in RL? When and how you became exclusive. Were there any relationship problems up to this point? Because it really seems like your girl is not strong enough in the relationship to forgo the other things like demonstrations of affection. Not everyone can deal with what is missed when you have a significant other who is away from you. It takes a tremendous sacrifice. Sometimes it is just too difficult for some people and they do things like this - or worse. She may have liked the attention. She may have wanted the physical demonstration of closeness. At least you are on the right track and have discussed it. But she has now "cheated" and she must be willing to rectify that. You must decide if you can forgive.
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