pandagirl Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Hey everyone! I'm not doing so well in the online dating world. No guys seems to contact me, and whenever I write someone, they never write back. This leads me to believe that: 1) My pictures are not good/I am actually not very attractive 2) My profile sucks (I don't think this is the case though) Granted, the photos of me aren't all sexy, but I guess that is what gets a guys attention. Or am I wrong... Help?
blondesmiler Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Hey everyone! I'm not doing so well in the online dating world. No guys seems to contact me, and whenever I write someone, they never write back. This leads me to believe that: 1) My pictures are not good/I am actually not very attractive 2) My profile sucks (I don't think this is the case though) Granted, the photos of me aren't all sexy, but I guess that is what gets a guys attention. Or am I wrong... Help? My older brother says its about expectation, if you put professional pics on there and then meet in real life, he is going to expect the airbrush version rather than the real version so might get disappointed. If you put sexy pics on there, you might get attention but it will be the wrong kind of attention. Your pics IMO need to reflect the real you, so holiday snaps (the better ones) are a good bet. Keep your profile fairly brief, you do not want to tell them absolutely everything about yourself, that you need to keep for a date. So a brief synopsis of what you like to do for hobbies, where you would like to travel, food you like, drinks you like plus I guess anything that is important to you and maybe about a guys decision to date you like religion, beliefs or if you had kids etc One thing I will say, is pick your best picture for the one that appears in the searches that might be why no one is contacting you????
LoXs Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 What site are you using? Some are better and busier then others. I know it is a real hit and miss affair though but keep at it, there are millions of people online!
Author pandagirl Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 I tend to keep things pretty light and breezy on the profile part. No one needs to know every detail about me! My pics are just candids of me. I am Asian though, so maybe that is a disadvantage? I might just not be a lot of peoples' "type"?
stepka Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 I'm having the same problem, but then the 2 best looking guys on the site contacted me, so go figure. (Maybe they're just the best looking to me!) I think that it's just that way, so I try not to sweat it. Also, I don't know if it makes much difference, but I'm older (49) and I think a lot of guys don't want older women, even if they're the same age. Or it could be that I posted that my kids are a big part of my life and that I read a lot, and that may narrow the field quite a bit--if a man doesn't like kids or doesn't want to come second to them, I'd rather he'd self-select himself out and not contact me anyway, but that could reduce the pool somewhat or quite a bit. If a man would rather go to a football game than watch me read, then he won't contact me, and most men would rather go to a football game. You could keep looking for better pix, but I'm not sure that's it. Just a funny here--there was a man on there who had "stalked" me, so I went to check his profile. The first pic he had posted made it impossible to tell if he was a man or a woman. Then I looked at the other 9 pictures (9! That the most pix I've ever seen anyone post.) and it went from bad to worse--the guy was just scary looking. I mean, did he think he was goodlooking? In most of them he was sneering or scowling, and he looked sinister or crazy in all of them. Well, I'm almost positive that's not your problem--just give it time. It could be the site that we're using too, but I agree with the advice not to make it too good of a pic that doesn't show the real you--you don't want your date to be disappointed as I was one evening when my date looked like he'd gained 100 lbs. from his picture.
BobSacamento Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Don't put too much information on your profile. It's a bit tricky. You want to give something for the guy to work with so he can ask you questions and things like that. So maybe if you like sports just say you like sports. Don't give endless lists of stuff.
clv0116 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Hey everyone! I'm not doing so well in the online dating world. No guys seems to contact me, and whenever I write someone, they never write back. This leads me to believe that: 1) My pictures are not good/I am actually not very attractive 2) My profile sucks (I don't think this is the case though) Granted, the photos of me aren't all sexy, but I guess that is what gets a guys attention. Or am I wrong... Help? Show us the photos.
sumdude Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 It's all about the profile pix first. That said here's somethings I notice when I'm looking at them. Make sure you're smiling in the pic! The hottest girl can look like crud if her expression is wrong, if the lighting is really bad and if the setting says something either negative or bland. I started running my profile pics up on Hot or Not before posting them. Interesting how certain pix of me I thought were good only rated a 6 or 7 and others a pleasantly surprising 9. So don't get discouraged if one gets you a low number, find one that is the best representation of you.
gopher Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 From a guy's perspective..... Do post pictures of your face and a full body shot.. Do post candid pictures.... Do post pictures of you with your friends Do post pictures of you traveling or doing an activity Don't post pictures showing a lot of cleavage Don't post pictures of you laying on your bed Don't post pictures of you holding your cat or dog Don't post glamour shots pictures.,...ever!!! Hope this helps..
motive2002 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Don't post pictures showing a lot of cleavage I disagree. Cleavage is the #1 way to increase responses to your ad.
OpenBook Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Don't post glamour shots pictures.,...ever!!! Why not? Sometimes they turn out pretty good.
chrislovestosurf Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 From a guy's perspective..... Do post pictures of your face and a full body shot.. Do post candid pictures.... Do post pictures of you with your friends Do post pictures of you traveling or doing an activity Don't post pictures showing a lot of cleavage Don't post pictures of you laying on your bed Don't post pictures of you holding your cat or dog Don't post glamour shots pictures.,...ever!!! Hope this helps.. YES absolutely, and the posting of pics with full body shot cant be stressed enough. It sounds shallow but many guys will be disappointed with a girl who has a great face but doesnt take care of her body.
blondesmiler Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 YES absolutely, and the posting of pics with full body shot cant be stressed enough. It sounds shallow but many guys will be disappointed with a girl who has a great face but doesnt take care of her body. Never ceases to amaze me though that all your right all guys would like a face shot and body shot, that they think we women will be happy of a distant face shot with your sunglasses on......we won't...FFS play fair.
gopher Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Why not? Sometimes they turn out pretty good. I haven't seen ones that have...The ones I've seen usually have the woman wearing a cowboy hat. BTW Cowboy hats in candid pics=sexy....in glamour shots=not so much...
gopher Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 I disagree. Cleavage is the #1 way to increase responses to your ad. We'll agree to disagree...it all depends on what kind of responses they are looking for....
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