Tryng2Trust08 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 I was starting to feel soo much better about things, moving on with my life and doing new things. Last weekend my ex sent me a couple of text messages and we were engaged in conversation. I know Im stupid, I thought it would be ok to text him, I felt ok while doing this. Well, with the conversation many many things were said. He blamed me and went as far to say if I would've chilled out things more than likely would've been ok between us. That my impatience made us breakup. I was very anxious being in a relationship with him.We also joked around a lot, like we did before. Of course I told him I didnt agree, I couldve done things different yes and I made mistakes. I told him we clashed very badly at times and he of course disagreed and said we went well together and we never got into an argument when we were together(thats true, we only argued on the phone or text).. And he also said he liked me and wasnt losing interest in me( like I thought he was). He has made it clear he does not want to date me, also. So, why is there a need for this. I mean is he missing me as a friend? Is this a mind game, I dont get it? I have to say his texts do have me thinking and I think it's very inconsiderate on his part to put this blame on me yet again. Im starting to think he is trying to manipulate me, but on the other hand he does not want to date me again, or so he says. I still have feelings for him, yes, but I could never see myself with him, hes a nice guy, but he is kind of cold and distant.
Geishawhelk Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 "I refuse to entertain any ideas, suggestions, thoughts, theories or notions regarding who was - or was not - to blame. I also reuse to accept full responsibility, so let's not go there, if that's where you're headed....The truth is, it takes two to tango, so let's not re-hash old discussions and arguments now. Not unless, of course, you see it as a process towards reconciliation and trying again. Otherwise, it's just a lot of hot air, and I think we should avoid talking about it. I'm completely over you. Hope the same goes for you." is what you tell him.
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 I did tell him something very similar to that, except being over him part. I kept my stance in not accepting full responsibility, but I have to say he has me thinking. He said I dont want to date you, sorry. He's sorry? I mean, does he really think I would want to date him right now?! At this point all I think of him is a manipulating jerk, what was his point in telling me all that?! To drive me crazy? sigh.
Geishawhelk Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 I'll be frank with you, I just don't think men are generally very good at putting things into words, and they mean well, but it all comes out like self-centred shyte, even if they don't mean it that way. Guys are exceptionally good at many things, but - verbalising constructively? Nope. Not always.
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 I agree with you....I think he was just analyzing what went wrong and that was his way of telling me? IDK? We had problems in our relatiionship, I doubt anything would ever work. I feel kind of hurt all over again, not like I was, but I shouldnt talk/text with him again.
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Well although it's been 5 days later, has all communication stopped or is he still texting you?
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Posted March 6, 2009 We have texted...we were joking around about things that had happened. He said he feels awful and the worst part is im a wonderful girl. We reminisced a little. I said I would give him his space, something along those lines and we shouldnt text. He said it's ok to text, etc..but then said fine have it your way, bye. IDK. I am fine, I feel no different, no worse, maybe a little better. So...thats where I stand. I just feel bad everything fell apart, but it would take a lot of work to make something work.
miss-jem-bishop Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Right well i think takes 2 people 2 tango! so he cnt just blame you for everything .. men sometimes like to blame others because they dnt like to be in the wrong .. for him to texts you abit randomly shows he is thinking of you but he ended up frustrating himself and started blaming you which yeah was wrong! we all make mistakes but think we make them to learn from them because if we didnt do things wrong how wud we ever learn?? excatly maybe he needs to see he cant just blame you .. maybe you should try and texts him explaining it takes 2 and that you are willing to take half the blame but its not all your fault or if things have settled and he hasnt got in contact agen maybe leave it as you dont wanna stir it up agen! xx
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 We have texted...we were joking around about things that had happened. He said he feels awful and the worst part is im a wonderful girl. We reminisced a little. I said I would give him his space, something along those lines and we shouldnt text. He said it's ok to text, etc..but then said fine have it your way, bye. IDK. I am fine, I feel no different, no worse, maybe a little better. So...thats where I stand. I just feel bad everything fell apart, but it would take a lot of work to make something work. I think that you should stop the texting thing. Even if he said you two are friends, he shouldn't keep reminding you that it was your fault and blah blah blah. You have the upper hand right now and you have the power to stop communication - so stop communication at once or verses getting stronger and moving on, you are taking steps back and you will never get better.
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