stovepipe Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Each day is easier.....I almost broke it a few times, almost cracked. I have my moments of weakness where I want to reach out. What makes it even harder is that I sit within feet of this person at work. I don't even speak to them there, if its work related I will but we don't work on the same program we have no need to speak. I know it bothers her, I know she doesn't like it, I see her looking at me from time to time, she's even gone as far as to tell people that I'm friends with about some "surgery" she is scheduled to have in april, I'm not contacting her about that either...I know thats why she told them, they all pretty much told me thats why she was telling them, but she made this bed and now she has to lay in it. I go over and talk to other girls at work, they come to my desk and sit and talk to me. A lot of the time when this happens she gets up and leaves. I'm going back to normal at work, I'm laughing, talking having a good time. The last time I heard from her she was begging me, apologizing up and down to me, wanting to be friends, yes friends. Thats not what I wanted, and I'm not giving her what she wants. I have the power, she knows it and she hates it....she may hate me for it, if thats the case its only her own guilt thats making her hate me. Anyone that wants to feel better and heal, go NC. For as much as it hurts it helps even more.
Excellent Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 Yes, keep it up! NC hurts like hell, but if you manage to force yourself to stay there, you will heal faster. It gets better every day.
paperchase Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 cool story. so she's dying because she has guilt and wants you to make it go away through friendship. f_c_u_k that! so many times our ex's want us to break nc for selfish reasons. to assuage their guilt, to be their friend to acknowledge their existence. f_c_u_k that! the fact that you haven't bitten is commendable. my ex has been texting me and calling me like crazy -- even in the wee hours of the morning -- but she hasn't stated her intentions and I'm pretty sure she just feels guilty and wants to be friends. I get nothing out of friendship. all the benefit goes to her. f_c_u_k that! one question: are you still hoping for reconciliation or just looking to move on?
Author stovepipe Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 I still love her. I still think about her. She would have to show and prove to me a lot before I'd give it another go. I'm moving on but it's a slow process. Getting better each day
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