OCCDAVE Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 As many know already my gf of 3 years had dumped me on november 20th.Well some time has passes since then and ive been trying to stick to nc.Sometimes it worked other times i broke it and felt worse.Is something wrong with me cause i cant seem to get over this girl no matter what i do.My friends say dude you should have been over this girl but im not.I try going out and about and seeing other girls but just cant forget my ex.I wish i could move on as fast as she did shes living it up and im depressed here.Sigh:(
stovepipe Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 you gotta stay with the NC man. I'm going on 3 weeks here soon I think. Honestly I've lost track of how long its been. I've been feeling better with each day, yeah I have my moments where I'm thinking about contacting her...sometimes I almost do but then I remembered how miserable I felt before, and this fleeting moment of misery will pass and I'll be ok. Just stick with the NC.....its really the fastest way to heal pal...as hard as it is.
thegoodlife Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 I went through the same thing after a relationship of 2 years ended rather abruptly. I moved out and went NC and tried to move on, but no matter what I did my thoughts still came back to her and I just couldn't break out of it. It took a good 8 months or so until I started to feel a little better, and what ultimately made me get over it was when I entered a new relationship. I hope it gets easier for you soon, and you get past this on your own. I hope to see you with better days soon! We're all here for you on LS!
lonelygurl Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 As many know already my gf of 3 years had dumped me on november 20th.Well some time has passes since then and ive been trying to stick to nc.Sometimes it worked other times i broke it and felt worse.Is something wrong with me cause i cant seem to get over this girl no matter what i do.My friends say dude you should have been over this girl but im not.I try going out and about and seeing other girls but just cant forget my ex.I wish i could move on as fast as she did shes living it up and im depressed here.Sigh:( she dumped you in November, but you have been having contact still, so you have not had any chance to start healing. You need to block her or change your phone numbers/emails so she can not contact you. If you allow her to continue to contact you, you will never start to heal. It will only keep you in that constant turmoil of unsureness that you are in now. She has done nothing but be cruel and play games with you anyways. You have to listen to people on here. The only way to start healing is to go strict NC and that includes not accepting anything from her and blocking her. Every time you get something from her it sets you back and all you do is question everything she is thinking and doing. It does not matter what she is thinking and doing. You have to feel the pain to move forward. Read about break ups and grieving. You can google and find tons of info. Dating other people isn't going to help you heal. A good book to read "How to Break Your Addiction to a Person" by Howard Halpern
Tryng2Trust08 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 This isn't your fault at all, its her sending you mixed messages making you feel like you're going to lose it. It's not fair of her to do this and Im sorry you're going through this I think since you have been in contact with her has made it worse, I mean she kissed you not too long ago. I know how painful it is to get text messages, I have been going through the same. But you really need to block her, so you can be happy and move on. Of course you are going to still have feelings for her, those don't just magically go away as soon as a breakup happens. Its going to take some time, so don't beat yourself up over it. But please keep in the back of your mind you are better than what she has done, better than her mixed messages and you deserve happiness. Keep doing NC, and dont check her myspace, you will be just fine, trust me I agree with the PP, dating someone is not going to help you, and trust me I highly doubt she is happy with someone else. She never gave herself a chance to heal from your relationship. Dating is the farthest thing from my mind, my focus is being happy with myself for now and trying to better myself. Dont concern yourself with what she is doing, I know it's hard. My ex husband left me for another woman and the thoughts would eat at me. I know it's a different situation,but I am definately happy without him and I know you are going to be happier without her. The best feeling in the world is to wake up knowing you have gotten over an ex. Just keep on going!
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 Thanks for all the great advice you ppl always have some awesome advice.I won't lie the 2 months I went strict nc seemed easy untill I got my stuff.I was taken back cause u have someone tellin u they are sorry and have feelings for u.I held myself from fallin. Into her trap then again maybe she meant it I dunno.I think the fact I didn't give in that day sshoows how far I have gotten.meh
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 Well in my defense lonley I wasn't talkin to her long.I went 3 weeks nc but broke it had her yell at me over the phone.I then went strict 2 months nc and that same day oddly enough she told me get my stuff.like I said that day I think really brought me back big time.I already sad what she did but to top it off u had her keep huggin and not wantin to let go.she then kept calling me and textin .she asked do u have feelings for me and why did u kiss me.I ignored it and slowly the text and calls have stopped .what do u make of this jjw
stovepipe Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 stop analyzing things is what i think. If she wants to get back together with you make her work for it. You'll know if she does. If you have to think about "maybe she does" she isn't working hard enough and you need to continue with the NC. I went through it myself, analyzing everything she did, every word of she said and every text she sent...it just made things worse.
IcemanJB Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 I agree that you need to try and stop analyzing. I have a huge problem with this as well, as I think way too hard and way too long about things from time to time. My ex mentioned a few times: "it's almost scary how well you can read me"...but when I could not for the life of me figure out why she called it off, I drove myself insane trying to figure it out. Actually I still think about the "why?" to this day - almost 5 months after the breakup. It's not in me to beg and plead so I guess I'm glad I never did that, but not knowing the exact reasons why still bugs me. Maybe she doesn't even know. She texted me on Tuesday, breaking our NC that had been going for 3 months. The funny thing is, I was going to text her that EXACT day, breaking 3 months NC; who knew lol. The point I'm making is I'm able to deal with any sort of response (or none at all) I get from her BECAUSE of NC. I'm trying to not analyze everything she says, but it's hard. Today is her bday and I think I'm fine just sending a simple text.
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 I won't lie that's one of my problems overthinking stuff sigh.I just wish I never kissed her owell sigh
blondesmiler Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 I won't lie that's one of my problems overthinking stuff sigh. Yup I used to be like that, best thing is do something else, put a movie on, cook, go out, exercise ~ basically distract yourself as soon as your mind starts going over and over and over the same thing, cause you'll just go around in circles and keep coming back to the same answer ~ which is no answer.
lonelygurl Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 I won't lie that's one of my problems overthinking stuff sigh.I just wish I never kissed her owell sigh why are you so hung up on one kiss??? It really doesn't matter that you kissed. She is seeing someone else and having sex with them. The first time my X dumped me we were seeing each other for 2 months and having sex the whole time while he decided what he wanted to do. Well I was the fool because he was seeing another girl at the same time. Once I found out that was it.... She is with someone else. Forget the kiss and everything else. She is no longer a part of your life. Treat it like she has died. It is the death of a relationship. Quite dwelling on that kiss.
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 why are you so hung up on one kiss??? It really doesn't matter that you kissed. She is seeing someone else and having sex with them. The first time my X dumped me we were seeing each other for 2 months and having sex the whole time while he decided what he wanted to do. Well I was the fool because he was seeing another girl at the same time. Once I found out that was it.... She is with someone else. Forget the kiss and everything else. She is no longer a part of your life. Treat it like she has died. It is the death of a relationship. Quite dwelling on that kiss.True true i only mention the kiss cause after she followed it up with saying she had feelings for me and cared .Shes all mindgames meh:o
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 I forgot to mention I've stopped checkin her myspace meh
stovepipe Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 yeah you should have stopped checking the myspace awhile ago....my ex made a facebook page after we stopped seeing each other. I haven't looked at it once, I told my friends who friended her on there to not even tell me about it. I just don't want to know. I know anything I see will just hurt or could possibly hurt. I had sex with my ex 2 weeks before I started with NC, which btw was initiated by her telling me she no longer could be my friend. After that I didn't care, she came back begging me, telling me she made a mistake and said some things she didn't mean and she loved me. All she wanted was friendship though, I had to look at what she said to me and take it at face value...I didn't analyze it. She felt guilty and was trying to make herself feel better. I didn't give her that and I've been feeling better and better with each day of NC.
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I think that you are getting stronger as days go by. Yes it's hard to not call or even text, but get back to doing the things you use to do before you met her. Or even if you haven't, start getting into new things, like exercising, getting back to a favorite hobby or start a new one, going out with friends (but not in the same circle where you may run into her), and just be the fun person you still are. With time, things will get better.
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 I think that you are getting stronger as days go by. Yes it's hard to not call or even text, but get back to doing the things you use to do before you met her. Or even if you haven't, start getting into new things, like exercising, getting back to a favorite hobby or start a new one, going out with friends (but not in the same circle where you may run into her), and just be the fun person you still are. With time, things will get better.Im trying every day that passes i just keep trying to keep myself busy.I try not to not do anything cause when i have time on my hands thats when i start to think about her.
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