zaphodb2002 Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 First things first, an introduction: I'm 23 years old, and this is by no means my first serious relationship. I was with my previous girlfriend for almost 4 years before she left me for my best friend. That's neither here nor there, but the point is I've done this before. I met the girl I'm with now about 8 months ago, and we started dating a month after that. 3 months ago we made it official, and we're a happy couple. Things couldn't be better and I couldn't be happier. We decided when we first got together that we should take things slowly, which sounds great to me, because I've rushed into things in the past and gotten hurt. Sidebar: Anyone watch "How I Met Your Mother"? Ya know Ted, the guy who's constantly obsessed with finding "The One" and marrying her as soon as possible? Well that's me. I've scared more than a few girls away by being too quick on the "I love you" thing. Anyway, we've been together a short while now, but I've known her for the better part of a year. Like I said, I couldn't be happier. She's smart, witty, funny, incredibly attractive, we have the same political and religious views, our tastes differ enough that we're always exposing each other to new things, but not enough that we always hate it when we do, her family loves me, my family loves her, it's perfect. She even talks about life together occasionally, or things in 5 to 10 years from now. And she does it so matter-of-fact, like she couldn't see it being any other way. Never that wishful "I hope it'll be like that" but just that it will. Every time she does I melt a little. =) So, needless to say, I think I'm in love with this girl. Nay, I AM in love with this girl. Now the question is: Do I tell her? Or do I wait? She's not a mushy girl, very much a tomboy, and she did say she wanted to take things slowly. But on the other hand, not saying it doesn't mean I'm not thinking it, and it'd be nice to get it out there... maybe find out for sure how she feels too. I know she likes me, and that she wants to be with me. Isn't that enough? Is it weird that I want this seemingly little thing so bad? I really don't want to mess things up. I have a feeling we'd survive if she was taken aback by my confession, but I think, if she's not ready for it, it might make things just a little awkward. I'm not asking her to marry me or anything. So I figure the best way to work this out is to ask a bunch of strangers on the Internet for advice. Advise away!
chrislovestosurf Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Yes, you've been with her long enough. You wont screw it up.
Author zaphodb2002 Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 I like this advice. I think you're right, I'm just a bit of a coward. Now, the question is how to do it. I'm thinking Disneyland. We go often, and it's always a lot of fun, the place is just full of good vibes, great for firsts. I was trying for our first kiss there, but I totally failed ::facepalm::. I got that kiss later on Valentine's Day, so maybe I can use the Disney magic for this. Any thoughts or other suggestions?
Green Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 If something bad happens to her and shes sad or having a bad day or what ever you could say cheer up I love you. I mean I fell in love with the girl I'm currently dating really fast and I told her in the first month that we were dating that I loved her I kind of just said it didn't even think and she really liked hearing it and even before I said it I was always saying to her I know you love me don't deny it. so yeah 8 months is 8 times longer then I waited heck I've only been dating my gf who I told I loved for half the time youve dated ur girl
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Doesn't sound too early to me. But then, my current relationship we've only been "official" since the 3rd weekend in January and we said the "L" word at around the 3-week mark. So maybe I'm the wrong person to ask. But I guess a good question would be - the girls that you did scare off with the "L" word - did they bring up the future (with you) at all without provocation?
chrislovestosurf Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 you dont plan when you are going to say it. Just say it when you feel it, when youre looking into her eyes when you two are in bed. An intimite time.
Author zaphodb2002 Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 you dont plan when you are going to say it. Just say it when you feel it, when youre looking into her eyes when you two are in bed. An intimite time. That's a very good point. I'll play it by ear. But I guess a good question would be - the girls that you did scare off with the "L" word - did they bring up the future (with you) at all without provocation? Not like this one does. She behaves like there's no other option. Most of the time, when I ****ed things up, it was because the girl wasn't really that into me, and I was all mushy head over heels for her. If something bad happens to her and shes sad or having a bad day or what ever you could say cheer up I love you. This right here is a wonderful idea.
jadelil25 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Just go for it. Im sure that it will be fine and im sure that she will like the fact that you have told her. You dont have to do anything special, just tell her when you are together! Everyone is different on how far in to a relationship they tell someone but I dont think it matters when as long as you mean it!
GorillaTheater Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 I like this advice. I think you're right, I'm just a bit of a coward. Now, the question is how to do it. I'm thinking Disneyland. We go often, and it's always a lot of fun, the place is just full of good vibes, great for firsts. I was trying for our first kiss there, but I totally failed ::facepalm::. I got that kiss later on Valentine's Day, so maybe I can use the Disney magic for this. Any thoughts or other suggestions? Hold on a moment, do I have this straight: you've been exclusive for 3 months but shared your first kiss only 2 weeks ago?
Author zaphodb2002 Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Hold on a moment, do I have this straight: you've been exclusive for 3 months but shared your first kiss only 2 weeks ago? Well, first real kiss anyway. Little pecks and such for a long time now, but Valentine's Day was our first real, passionate kiss. As I said, she wants to take things slow, which is fine by me. I've got all the patience in the world for this girl. I think it's sort of refreshing. My previous relationship was based almost entirely on sex, but with the girl I'm with now, I'm perfectly happy to wait till she's ready. There's so much more to this relationship than the physical aspect.
GorillaTheater Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Well, first real kiss anyway. Little pecks and such for a long time now, but Valentine's Day was our first real, passionate kiss. As I said, she wants to take things slow, which is fine by me. I've got all the patience in the world for this girl. I think it's sort of refreshing. My previous relationship was based almost entirely on sex, but with the girl I'm with now, I'm perfectly happy to wait till she's ready. There's so much more to this relationship than the physical aspect. Okay, no problem. It's a little slower than I'm used to seeing, but on the other hand I went to a wedding a few months ago where, for religious reasons, the first kiss was at the altar. I think I was alot like you: too quick on the draw with the "I love you" thing and, yeah, scared most of them away. I probably waited TOO long with my wife, so I understand your hesitancy. My advice: go ahead and tell her. Life is risk.
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