D-Lish Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 It's a heart vs. head thing. I adore him. He doesn't want anything serious, but he plays the role of being in love when he feels like it (a lie). I've been so good, and so strong- so much other stuff going on that I can't even tell you about. Well, I am about to, so brace yourself. I went into Rehab Feb15th. A boot camp- drop the alcohol, act like an army recruit robot. Lost 10 pounds, started running- really felt like I got my **** together. I am still running- engaging in programs- doing what I need to do. Not drinking or caring about it. Sober, completely- for two weeks almost- away- no computer. (Funny thing is no one on LS noticed I was gone that long.... lol.) The guy in question has nothing to do with my latent or current problem. He was just a catlyst. I can tell you, that he was the last person I felt I loved- after many painful years post divorce. He contacted me tonight. Made me feel like jello again. I don't want to be jello.
Saint Valentine Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 You're not retarded. Maybe your caboose is a little loose, that's all.
JamesM Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 It's a heart vs. head thing. I adore him. He doesn't want anything serious, but he plays the role of being in love when he feels like it (a lie). You are not retarded...sorry, not what you want to hear. You ARE vulnerable right now I am guessing with all that has happened to you. The question is...will a relationship with him cause your more pain or will it bring you pleasure? I went into Rehab Feb15th. A boot camp- drop the alcohol, act like an army recruit robot. Lost 10 pounds, started running- really felt like I got my **** together. Good for you. This takes alot of courage and strength. Sober, completely- for two weeks almost- away- no computer. (Funny thing is no one on LS noticed I was gone that long.... lol.) Not true. I know I did. Since we cannot post threads asking where someone is...understandably...and there are times that we all simply disappear for awhile, I assumed you would pop up again. He contacted me tonight. Made me feel like jello again. I don't want to be jello. You do have a choice you know in pursuing this or not pursuing this...yes? I imagine if you were not going through this rough time, then you would not be as vulnerable to this gelatinous "mess." What to do now...that is the question. Decide if what you have for him is love or just pleasurable feelings. Decide if you can handle a relationship with no future. Decide if you can handle the risk of the pain of an up and down relationship. And I hate to add this as it may give you hope that may not be there, but decide if he actually may change his mind about a future relationship. Glad to see you again. And I am sending you a hug or two.
Saint Valentine Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 As usual, a quality post there, JamesM. Some thoughtful and compassionate advice from a respected LS member. Decide if you can handle the risk of the pain of an up and down relationship. Especially if he is thumping against your cervix. Ouch!
Author D-Lish Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 You are not retarded...sorry, not what you want to hear. You ARE vulnerable right now I am guessing with all that has happened to you. Glad to see you again. And I am sending you a hug or two. Maybe some people noticed, lol. But I did do a hard, intense (involuntary) program with the booze. I swear I felt very squared off- cool and together. Then he found me. He actually contacted me this morning~ and I bought a 12 of beer this aft. It's in my car. I am not going to drink it. I am having trouble at the moment though. It's in my car- 20 feet away. But, I am worth more than that. I mean I bought it at 6pmish- and it's sitting there.... and I am denying it. I'm really having a bad night.....
Saint Valentine Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Would it be retarded to suggest that you drink three, but bury the rest somewhere? If I am retarded, then please tell me. I think I need to hear it. Drinking in moderation is perfectly OK.
Author D-Lish Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 As usual, a quality post there, JamesM. Some thoughtful and compassionate advice from a respected LS member. Especially if he is thumping against your cervix. Ouch! I don't know Dumble- seriously- maybe tonight isn't serious enough for others... it is for me. I NEVER ask for help... I feel guilty doing so. Geez, where is Kamille-
Saint Valentine Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 I NEVER ask for help... I feel guilty doing so. What's to feel guilty about? We all have our setbacks. Let it go, and start again when you're ready. Giving up is the only crime.
JamesM Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 First off, because you just finished rehab, any drink will seem like failure to you...even when it is not. So holding off is best. And even though you bought it, you still have shown strength. Second, I am guessing that they told you that you might have relapses. And that relapses do not mean failure. What is it about this guy that would cause you to drink? The desire for a future with him or the uncertainty of his feelings or simply the "fact" that you have feelings for him?
burning 4 revenge Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Oh come off it and just have a drinky-poo I drank so much tow weeks ago I almost had to go on dialysis. I kid you not Ask TBF and Story...they know how incorrigable I am I thought I was going to die and I gave it u till June ANd yet tonight here i am drinking again so im nothing special..if i can do it you can too...
Author D-Lish Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 Would it be retarded to suggest that you drink three, but bury the rest somewhere? If I am retarded, then please tell me. I think I need to hear it. Drinking in moderation is perfectly OK. Well depends on where the rest get documented. No such thing as drinking in moderation in my world. I'm going to get caught one day. I'd really like me to get smart- recognised, and ultimately respected. Repsect is key.
Saint Valentine Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 No such thing as drinking in moderation in my world. There is if you smash the other nine. Don't listen to that psychobabble. Going cold turkey is a nightmare worse than death.
Trialbyfire Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Yes, b4r is incorrigible. Don't be like him D-Lish! (j/k) I'm proud of you for going into rehab. I can't imagine how difficult that must be. Your ex is one confused dude. Don't let him mess with your mind or resolve to stop drinking. You can do it! Btw, yes, I noticed you were missing but some time ago, you posted about being away for a couple of weeks for some job training, so I assumed that was what it was.
burning 4 revenge Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Yes, b4r is incorrigible. Don't be like him D-Lish! (j/k) I'm proud of you for going into rehab. I can't imagine how difficult that must be. Your ex is one confused dude. Don't let him mess with your mind or resolve to stop drinking. You can do it! Btw, yes, I noticed you were missing but some time ago, you posted about being away for a couple of weeks for some job training, so I assumed that was what it was.what is pretty girl like you doing alone tonight im not half as handsome as your bf but imtwice as wicked
boldjack Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Concentrate on him and how he make's you feel. Think about what's good and what's bad. If he makes you feel like jello, he WILL use you. If he was for real, he would uplift you. Good loves make BOTH partners better. If you concentrate on these things the alcohol won't have as much of a grip. I can't be there, but we can talk, if it would help.
Saint Valentine Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 But I did do a hard, intense Don't think that none of us here can relate. All of us at some point have gone in one end, and come out the same side.
Trialbyfire Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 what is pretty girl like you doing alone tonight im not half as handsome as your bf but imtwice as wicked He and his partners get together every Friday night, to have dinner, but also to talk business out of earshot of everyone else. A form of male bonding!
2sunny Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 DL- just don't drink it! one drink will lead to waaaay too many drinks. if you're anything like me - don't get started. say the serenity prayer, meditate or call a friend who's sober... or just keep posting here. the same problem will be there whether or not you make it worse by drinking. try to face the issue and delay your reaction to the craving to drink. where did you go to rehab?
Lovelybird Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 I noticed that you weren't on LS for a while, wondered what you are doing And please don't drink, I know you can do that. why you want to drink when he called you? did he call you to only have sex with him? you are right. you are worth more than that. One day one man can respect you and love you as who you are, believe it, and have patience.
Touche Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Sorry I missed this D-Lish. What's involuntary rehab? How does that work? The guy doesn't sound too good for you at the moment. And don't listen to B4R. He's an alcoholic too but won't admit it.
carhill Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Stay away from the guy and the alcohol for a month. Both retard your brain Good on ya for your strength. I missed your bra expertise
melodymatters Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 I has been thinking about you and hoping you were well, as we have a few parallels in our lives ! Since you went through the rehab, might as well stick it out a bit longer. Tell yourself you can drink again on April 1st or whatever, and hopefully you won't even want to when it rolls around. It's the "forvever" part that gets me with quitting drinking or smoking ! As for the guy, not enough detials, but it doesn't sound like he's having a good effect on you NOW, and that's good enough to go off of, for NOW ! Good luck sweetie !
clv0116 Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 It's a heart vs. head thing. I am still running- engaging in programs- doing what I need to do. Not drinking or caring about it. Sounds like you've replaced destructive behaviors with beneficial ones, no wonder you feel better. I don't know much about addiction but you've got brownie points from me for doing something positive. Just don't f*ck it up now.
jerbear Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Hey D-lisicous, I would not say you are retarded. I've seen parallels of this with some women in my life. I view your proactive steps of checking into rehab as positive steps. You seem to have some major things happening in your life. Have you considered counseling in addition to rehab? The positive stuff that replaced the negative behaviors will help you in the long run. You just have to stay on the wagon and not get off or get side tracked with alcohol and the other guy. I'm not saying to be a hermit but maybe it is time to take a sabbatical and some time away to find yourself. This will take time and you will get out this. Just to many things that are happening at once to you.
gopher Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 It's a heart vs. head thing. I adore him. He doesn't want anything serious, but he plays the role of being in love when he feels like it (a lie). I've been so good, and so strong- so much other stuff going on that I can't even tell you about. Well, I am about to, so brace yourself. I went into Rehab Feb15th. A boot camp- drop the alcohol, act like an army recruit robot. Lost 10 pounds, started running- really felt like I got my **** together. I am still running- engaging in programs- doing what I need to do. Not drinking or caring about it. Sober, completely- for two weeks almost- away- no computer. (Funny thing is no one on LS noticed I was gone that long.... lol.) The guy in question has nothing to do with my latent or current problem. He was just a catlyst. I can tell you, that he was the last person I felt I loved- after many painful years post divorce. He contacted me tonight. Made me feel like jello again. I don't want to be jello. Congrats on the rehab!!! I'm a member of that club too and your two weeks of sobriety is awesome! Only you know how hard that is and what you need to maintain it. Do you have a sponsor or anyone you can call if you're tempted?
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