wantoheal Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 My bf broke up with me about two weeks ago. He told me he wasn't sure about us anymore. He initiated NC, and I have been NC on my end because of that. I know he is already looking to date others. But in my mind I am thinking this is just a phase he is going through and later, maybe 6 months down the road he will realise that I am the one he wants to be with forever. He will see me somewhere and know that I am still the one. I just know that it will happen. But on the other hand, my common since is telling me it really won't happen. I am afraid I am setting myself up for a major heart break, but I can't stop thinking this way. Has anyone experienced anything like this?
Truly Lost Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Sorry that you are hurting. Its not good to expect that he will "wake up" and see that you are the only person for him. Its hard to end a relationship, and he is trying to ease his pain by telling you he isn't sure about your relationship. I know thinking that you and he will reconcile helps ease your pain a little, but truth is....you don't know if that will happen for sure. You need to stay away from him and give him time alone, NO CONTACT!!! That is the only way he will be able to assess if he made a mistake. If he realises that it wasn't a mistake, then it really wasn't meant to be. Breaking up with someone, especially if you were the one being dumped, is heart wrenching. Its just the way it is. You can't make him want you back. People always resort to "what if" and then start doing "crazy" things, like calling or emailing nonstop or worse. Don't lose sight that he ended it. End of story. Its up to him to come back. No amount of calling him or contacting him, in some way, is going to change his mind. He's got to come to that realization on his own. Wouldn't you prefer that? Again, DO NOT CONTACT HIM. Make him realize the decision he made.
Author wantoheal Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 Well, I have been NC and do not plan to break that. He talked about marriage with me. I know he wants to be married. He is ready for that. And I think he doesn't want to waste any time and that is why he dumped me. He must have realised that I am not marriage material or something. But-I know that I am. So now he is already looking for someone else-with the intention of finding a wife. He has been married before and has children. But the thing that is making it hard for me is that now it seems as if he has completely forgotton that I ever existed since he is so focused on finding someone. And that is what really hurts
Truly Lost Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 He isn't going to find someone that quickly, at least, someone who is going to want to get married. He is being rediculous. I think its a coping mechanism. He can't have what he wants when he wants it. How childish. Give him time. He will realise it. Relationships are not that cut and dry. You can't replace someone with another that easily, unless he already had someone in mind when you two broke up. Potential wifes are not cookie cutters. He's a fool.
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