aferg Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 I was very lucky. My husband and I have only been married for 3 years, but dated for 8. He has been an amazing man our whole relationship. Very respectful, very attracted and into me. (For 7 years!) He's not a big perv, not too into porn, strippers etc. And that's why I trusted him more than any other man in my life and decided to marry him. We just had a baby boy and I have definately gained a bit of weight. I'm still a good 20 lbs over weight. But I am still young, I take good care of myself. I dress up and put on makeup everyday. I feel it is important to look and feel sexy. Right around the birth of our son he decided to go into the Bikini coffee business. To some who are not familiar with it and are not from the North West, it is exactly what it sounds like. Little coffee stands that require the girls to wear ONLY bikinis or less and serve coffee. I was 9 months pregnant when he made this decision for us and our family. 1 year later it has comepletely destroyed our relationship. On top of feeling extra insecure, because of the weight; and the stigma that so unfairly gets attached to a beautiful woman who is now a mother, I now have to deal with my husband spending every waking moment with young attractive girls that are sometimes wearing less than bikinis! EVERYDAY!! I also have been a very jealous woman my whole life and I am aware I am a little overboard with not accepting other women into my husband's life. But I never had to before! That was the beauty of it! That's why I married him! His whole world now revolves around who's pretty enough, who's skinny enough etc. His brother and him talk about a girl that is too fat for the stand and she's literally half the size if me!! And I'm only a size 10 by the way! I can't help but question everything he does because I am so scared he would rather be there with those girls then be at home with his chubby wife and crying baby!! And don't get me wrong, I put on the lingerie, and do fun stuff that he and both enjoy. I try to keep things fresh and new. Yet I have to beg him to spend less time at work and spend more time with our family. And that always leads to a fight. The last two months we fight almost every single day. Sometimes over weird stuff I find in his pockets, sometimes over me trying to give him advice on how to manage his time better so he could be at home with us more. I feel like all this is futile. It will probably lead to him cheating on me no matter what I do. If anything, I am pushing him to do it. But I can't control my emotions and jealousy! Any advice?
Mr. Lucky Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 It sounds like you're adding 2 and 2 together and getting 5 for an answer. There are many businesses that revolve around beautiful people and, having been involved in one for much of my life, the reality is much different that the perception. Any food-service operation is a hands-on, time consuming venture and I doubt that "bikini coffee" is any different. To me, it was just a job and the people I worked with were just employees despite their looks. Without knowing your husband, I couldn't guess if he treats it any differently. Does he give you reasons to be suspicious? A real question is whether or not, given the time demands, it's the right business for a man starting a family. I can tell you that the time away from home was a factor in the failure of my first marriage. Only the two of you can decide if the same danger exists for you. Keep us posted... Mr. Lucky
Recommended Posts