gavinus Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 I broke NC after 3 weeks and saw my ex gf who dumped me. (We were togeather for 3 years). We talked and over the course of the conversation it became apparent she had not changed her mind about me and still wanted to be single. When I brought up the horrible things she said about not loving me, lack of respect for me, I am the cause of her anger etc she then said she only said that to make it easier on me to let her go. She then got upset when I said I was going to delete her number, and said she did not want to let me go, she then said she would let me go, and then said she loved the last 3 weeks we were living together. I am confused; she dumped me, so why should she get upset when I said I was deleting her numbers? I asked her if she knew how I felt about her and for her to give me a call, she said she would, I have now been NC for 5 days and have heard nothing from her should I contact her again? Why do I feel guilty??
Excellent Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 I broke NC after 3 weeks and saw my ex gf who dumped me. (We were togeather for 3 years). We talked and over the course of the conversation it became apparent she had not changed her mind about me and still wanted to be single. When I brought up the horrible things she said about not loving me, lack of respect for me, I am the cause of her anger etc she then said she only said that to make it easier on me to let her go. She then got upset when I said I was going to delete her number, and said she did not want to let me go, she then said she would let me go, and then said she loved the last 3 weeks we were living together. I am confused; she dumped me, so why should she get upset when I said I was deleting her numbers? I asked her if she knew how I felt about her and for her to give me a call, she said she would, I have now been NC for 5 days and have heard nothing from her should I contact her again? Why do I feel guilty?? You feel guilty because she got upset (or acted upset). Don't be. However, you said to her to give you a call if she wanted. The ball is in her court now, don't contact her! It will only push her further away acting needy. You may wonder if she really has forgotten you. But dude..3 years of her life together with you doesn't just magically disappear out of her head. Is she thinking of you? Hell yes. Instead, use this time to stop thinking with your heart, and start thinking with your head. Pamper yourself a bit, have fun, enjoy life. But don't, DON'T contact her.
Author gavinus Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 thankyou, I feel guilty for breaking NC and causing her pain, I will do the right thing and keep NC,
Excellent Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 thankyou, I feel guilty for breaking NC and causing her pain, I will do the right thing and keep NC, 'Atta boy And don't feel guilty about causing her pain, she caused you plenty of pain when she dumped you, didn't she? You should feel guilty about causing yourself pain instead, and fix it.
Author gavinus Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 hmmm I just had a thought, I could send her flowers to apologize for hurting her, or an apology text do you think this would be wise?
Faded Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Don't send her anything. Which do you think feels worse - Her saying she doesn't love you? Or.. you saying that you're removing her number because you want to move on. Did she send you anything for breaking your heart?
Excellent Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 No, no and no! Don't send her anything. Then you are only rewarding her for treating you the way she did, and treating you now. Right now, she doesn't deserve any attention from you, deep down you know this. Focus on you right now, not her.
Author gavinus Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 thankyou guys I will not contact her, thanks for your support
troubadour Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 She has clearly mastered the art of jerking you around, gavinus.
Author gavinus Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 Do you think so? I just feel guilty for stressing her out and making her unhappy
BeachBoy Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Dude just be strong let her come to you and everything will be good. Go out with the boys and have fun.
Author gavinus Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 cheers, I will try my best to keep up NC, when I am feeling weak I will post on here instead of contacting her,
nature Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Do you think so? I just feel guilty for stressing her out and making her unhappy Gavinus, this is the mindset of a doormat. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but it's true. Guilt is a useless emotion, and you are only feeling guilt to mask the pain you are feeling that SHE dumped you. Rather than feel the pain of her dumping you, you are looking for every excuse to hold on to her. Therefore, feeling guilty for upsetting her. WRONG. She's a big girl. She didn't need to talk to you. She can say goodbye at any time. I'm a girl. I can tell you what she's doing. She's stringing you along by giving you wishy washy statements and being upset that you were going to remove her number. If she really respected you, she would have no problem with you removing her number. She would understand it. What is even more despicable, is her telling you she said the mean things to you to help you let go. Talk about arrogance on her part. Get over yourself girly. You, Gavinus, need to heal and get some attitude back. I hope you have not contacted her again. I hope you have not sent her flowers. Because that is the last thing that will bring this girl back to you. Putting her on ignore is the only chance you have. And if you are goign to remove her number, just do it. Don't tell her. Again, you are just looking for ways to trigger some kind of sentimentality in her, so that she'll come running back to you. These games don't work. She is playing with you. Stop being a willing oponent.
Author gavinus Posted March 1, 2009 Author Posted March 1, 2009 I have not sent her anything and I have not broken NC.
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