Touche Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 I didn't call HR bums. I called them a lot of other things though! It only applies to SOME..not ALL though. As for being "handed" a job...guess you're referring to me there. Uhm, no. We started this together. And I work plenty. How would you know how much I work? You have no way of knowing that. My hours are very flexible. Sometimes I work at night, sometimes in the day, and sometimes not at all. I love it! Don't forget Im also a housewife and mom. I wear a few hats. If that's being a "bum" then you're welcome to call me one!
allina Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 I didn't call HR bums. I called them a lot of other things though! It only applies to SOME..not ALL though. As for being "handed" a job...guess you're referring to me there. Uhm, no. We started this together. And I work plenty. How would you know how much I work? You have no way of knowing that. My hours are very flexible. Sometimes I work at night, sometimes in the day, and sometimes not at all. I love it! Don't forget Im also a housewife and mom. I wear a few hats. If that's being a "bum" then you're welcome to call me one! I know, I didn't actually mean it
Touche Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 I know, I didn't actually mean it It's ok. I can take it.
CandyGirlXO Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Even though I wasn't supposed to be eligible for it since I'd just got one in December, I was getting a raise and promotion. I had to laugh at the irony. "I think we have a really good working relationship, and I want to keep it that way. Wow! I never thought you were going to get fired, but I never expected a promotion. Congrats! I agree, now you can move on from Jack, instead of always wondering. Do you feel weird around him now that he knows about your feelings?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Spookie, you are like a cat with nine lives who is dropped on its head and lands on its feet....every time.
JamesM Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 I am with SG on this. The promotion and raise were intended as a way to show you that there are no hard feelings about your discussion of your feelings. Jack made certain that he mentioned that the two of you have a great working relationship, too. He wanted you to feel as if there were no change. And by giving you a promotion and raise (out of the blue and unexpected it sounds like), the company is showing you that no repercussions are occurring as a result of your revelations. However, and I may get flamed for this...there is one ting to be concerned about. I quote from your previous thread. This is what you stated that Rosa from HR said..... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=180816&page=2 "I spoke with (Jack's boss) and (Jack's boss' boss) about everything we talked about, and how you were feeling, and he (Jack's boss' boss) felt that he could not make accommodations right now. He said he was looking to change the structure of the whole business in May or June, and, it's not a guarantee, but he'll look at it again then... but for now, he felt it wasn't a high priority for the business for you to get transferred." If you survive through the restructuring, then you have made it. Otherwise, the company may use this as a way to decide your fate. My advice would be...do everything in your power to show your gratefulness for the promotion and raise, treat Jack as you would any other boss who you had no interest in, do not go to work stoned, and above all perform your best at all times. Give them no excuse to consider you as part of the restructuring.
johan Posted March 2, 2009 Posted March 2, 2009 However, and I may get flamed for this... I didn't read the rest. I just wanted to let you know it was stupid, and you're an idiot. (you asked for it. ) My advice would be...do everything in your power to show your gratefulness for the promotion and raise, treat Jack as you would any other boss who you had no interest in, do not go to work stoned, and above all perform your best at all times. Give them no excuse to consider you as part of the restructuring. I agree with this completely. It's good advice regardless of what all has happened. Keep in mind, Spookie, that while you (and we) have months of this under our belts, and it therefore seems like something huge and dramatic, Jack and the rest of the company have only seen about 10 minutes' worth. To them it hasn't been a big deal at all.
Author spookie Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 The timing is peculiar. Not that peculiar - it's promotion time here. I wasn't the only one who got one. It was just a surprise because I had gotten one in December so Jack had told me I woudln't be getting another one now. PS everything is great. I had a career development meeting with HR today, where I was given a personality test and asked about the kinds of things I'd like to be doing. I've also been recruited to do college recruiting. I am NOT getting fired. BRB in an hour.
Author spookie Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 This problem is easy to fix Spookie Spook When the weather gets humid, you Alpha and I get tight on a regular basis and take oxycontin and so forth and go all over the train tracks like a some kind of bizarro urban safari I'm still waiting for an invite...
Author spookie Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Who said Spook didn't know that business is about productivity/profitability? She's even talked about all the hours she's put in. (And they have her on a better bonus structure.) I think success also means being true to yourself to a point. Not everyone wants to play the game. And not everyone thinks that they're "trapped" if they have a lower level supervisory position. Everyone's idea of success in life is different. Personally I'd rather have a lower position than not be true to myself. But that's just me. I never would whore myself out so to speak - out in the corporate world. No higher level position was worth it. I'm not for sale and never was. And when I say I'm not (was never) for sale, I mean my true self...my sense of what was right or wrong. That couldn't and never will be bought. I mean I don't know, TBF. Are you saying you maneuvered that whole thing? I can't imagine playing with people's lives like they were pawns in a chess game. You couldn't PAY me to do that. I'd rather work as a dishwasher. No offense seriously. I'm just speaking for myself. Reaching the higher corporate levels was never a main interest of mine. Everyone is different. I can't speak for Spookie but my point is that maybe what she's doing is working for HER. Who are we to judge if it's working for her? Yup, Touche. Well-put. I decided early on that I would never suck corporate dick. I could be happy working in the corporate world all my life, as long as I don't have to play games. I'm not interested in "success" or money or power so it just wouldn't be worth it not to be true to myself.
Author spookie Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Funny how it seems to me that doing a HR type of job requires no talent but cunning, two faced personality is a must. And then HR people come on here and talk like they are top s%$t. Nothing personal, I'm just making a general observation. Lmao. HR sure can seem two-faced. I like to think though that they're just doing their jobs, though, relaying other people's bad news. I've felt kind of bad for the HR people almost every time I've had to interact with them.
Author spookie Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Spookie, you are like a cat with nine lives who is dropped on its head and lands on its feet....every time. That cracked me up. I will take it as a compliment.
Author spookie Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 I am with SG on this. The promotion and raise were intended as a way to show you that there are no hard feelings about your discussion of your feelings. Jack made certain that he mentioned that the two of you have a great working relationship, too. He wanted you to feel as if there were no change. And by giving you a promotion and raise (out of the blue and unexpected it sounds like), the company is showing you that no repercussions are occurring as a result of your revelations. However, and I may get flamed for this...there is one ting to be concerned about. I quote from your previous thread. This is what you stated that Rosa from HR said..... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=180816&page=2 If you survive through the restructuring, then you have made it. Otherwise, the company may use this as a way to decide your fate. My advice would be...do everything in your power to show your gratefulness for the promotion and raise, treat Jack as you would any other boss who you had no interest in, do not go to work stoned, and above all perform your best at all times. Give them no excuse to consider you as part of the restructuring. Yah. I'm already working on this. I turned a leaf yesterday.
Touche Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Yup, Touche. Well-put. I decided early on that I would never suck corporate dick. I could be happy working in the corporate world all my life, as long as I don't have to play games. I'm not interested in "success" or money or power so it just wouldn't be worth it not to be true to myself. Thanks, Spook. Thing is, unless you're self-employed you DO have to play the game a little. But it's up to each of us how far and to what extent we're willing to go. I just wasn't willing to go too far you know? I don't think you are either. Anyway, I'm so glad you're doing well. Sounds like they really do like you.
shadowplay Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Spookie, sounds like things are going well! I'm sorry about jack, but this promotion is a better outcome in the long term. I haven't read the whole thread yet, but did you ever see that therapist and if so how did it go?
Author spookie Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 I don't know if I'm going to be "over" it for a while, but I've found there's no point in forcing yourself to get over something; all you really need to do is make sure you don't spend too much time obsessing. So that's what I've been trying to do. The therapy seems to be helping. My counselor suggested I schedule obsession time for a couple hours a day, to view as a reward, after a hard day's work of... not thinking, and for the past couple of days, it's what I've been doing. Amazingly, it's made me much more open to other people; but the side effect is that I can feel myself closing up to Jack, accepting, finally, that for the time being... it's not gonna happen, so I should take my heart off the line. Still, though, it bums me out, when I do obsess about it. We would have fit so well together.
Author spookie Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Spookie, sounds like things are going well! I'm sorry about jack, but this promotion is a better outcome in the long term. I haven't read the whole thread yet, but did you ever see that therapist and if so how did it go? I've been going to therapy every week. At first, it felt like it was kind of a joke, and she didn't really understand my POV... but since we moved on past the pot issue, and gotten a chance to talk about other aspects of my life, she's actually been kind of helpful. Overall, though... meh. She has yet to say something I haven't already thought. I'm basically using her as someone to report to re: the status of my life, particularly my emotional healthiness. And she keeps telling me I need drugs.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 That cracked me up. I will take it as a compliment. You should. :D:D
Isolde Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 We would have fit so well together. How would you have "fit" with someone who doesn't feel the same way, or at best, deliberately chooses to ignore it? This is what I tell myself when something doesn't work out. It helps me get over it.
Author spookie Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Isolde... I'm trying to get over it. Of course his amazingness shouldn't start to count if he's not into me. But... he's my boss. Shouldn't that factor in at least a little into judgments regarding the finality of the rejection? Immediately after our meeting last week, he signed up for a race I am running with a couple of other coworkers, after finding out I was signed up. It's a long shot, I know, but after the race there will alcohol, and it's going to be just him, me, and a few other people - a pretty good opportunity to get him drunk and test his resolve. After all, I am a woman... and he is a man... Am I kidding? Not sure. But one thing's for sure... appearing attractive as I run a 10K is my new ambition.
Trialbyfire Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Spookie, he's only attractive to you because he's unattainable. If you get him, you'll make him road kill, like the rest of the guys you've left behind.
shadowplay Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 How would you have "fit" with someone who doesn't feel the same way, or at best, deliberately chooses to ignore it? This is what I tell myself when something doesn't work out. It helps me get over it. I tell myself the same thing.
Touche Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 How would you have "fit" with someone who doesn't feel the same way, or at best, deliberately chooses to ignore it? This is what I tell myself when something doesn't work out. It helps me get over it. That's really true. Great point. I mean after all, a big part of a what makes a couple a good "fit" as you say Spook, is the fact that the other person wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. What could be better than that right? Without that, there's no fit, no matter how good that person seems to be or actually is.
Author spookie Posted March 3, 2009 Author Posted March 3, 2009 Spookie, he's only attractive to you because he's unattainable. If you get him, you'll make him road kill, like the rest of the guys you've left behind. Just not true. I actually respect this man - not just based on criteria I THINK I should respect someone for, but deep in my bones. That's what's different.
shadowplay Posted March 3, 2009 Posted March 3, 2009 Isolde... I'm trying to get over it. Of course his amazingness shouldn't start to count if he's not into me. But... he's my boss. Shouldn't that factor in at least a little into judgments regarding the finality of the rejection? Immediately after our meeting last week, he signed up for a race I am running with a couple of other coworkers, after finding out I was signed up. It's a long shot, I know, but after the race there will alcohol, and it's going to be just him, me, and a few other people - a pretty good opportunity to get him drunk and test his resolve. After all, I am a woman... and he is a man... Am I kidding? Not sure. But one thing's for sure... appearing attractive as I run a 10K is my new ambition. Don't get your hopes up again. I really doubt anything will ever happen with him. I wanted it to for you, but at this point it doesn't look good. When I'm really crushed that a guy rejects me, I do everything in my power to put him out of my mind completely. Any kind of romantic thought that comes up I just immediately squash.
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