drbobbo Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Hey all, I posted on here a few months ago and it really helped so I thought Id try again. In September I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years who said she needed some space and things had changed while she was at university. She wanted to meet up (to be friends she said) at christmas while she was home for the holidays. It didnt really get to me too much back then but I appear to have hit a brick wall 5 months on. I've started vomiting, not eating, the shakes, deperession; the whole shabang. I had a dream a few weeks ago about her with another guy and its gone downhill from there. My sex lifes took a hit as I can only think about my ex. Shes back home next week, should I accept her invite? Do we think theres a chance or do I just want what I cant have (which is typical me) Thanks
BCCA Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 First, I'm sorry man. I'm 6 months out of a 5 year relationship myself, and even to this day, I still have bouts of depression. to be friends she said Look, you dont want to be her friend. You want her to change her mind, and youre only going to take the friend spot because you feel that keeps her around look enough to 'realize her mistake'. Its actually counter productive, though. No self respecting human would accept a downgrade in relationship status. Its like the company you work for demoting you and cutting your salary, and then telling you 'but we really appreciate all you do'. So by accepting her friendship, youre telling her that breaking your heart and being selfish are ok with you, and youre willing to accept everything being on her terms. In turn, shes just going to use you for an ego boost until she finds someone else, then discard you and your 'friendship' like common trash. It didnt really get to me too much back then but I appear to have hit a brick wall 5 months on. I've started vomiting, not eating, the shakes, deperession; the whole shabang. I had a dream a few weeks ago about her with another guy and its gone downhill from there. My sex lifes took a hit as I can only think about my ex. Shes back home next week, should I accept her invite? Look at the first part, about how youre feeling aweful everyday, not eating, etc...and ask yourself what good will come from seeing her again. You'll only fall further into dispair, and erode your self esteem even more. No, you absolutely should not see her. Do we think theres a chance or do I just want what I cant have Thats human nature. We all want what we cant have. Listen, dont accept scraps to keep you on the hook. She wants you or she doesnt, plain and simple. She doesnt get to dictate how and when youre in her life without your approval, so dont give the green light to situations that are obviously sh***y for you. This isnt fair, she cant just be your friend while she needs it. Youre better than that.
Author drbobbo Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 Thanks man. Your right, I do simply want to show her what shes missing. You think I should just say if theres no chance of getting back, not to bother meeting? The weird thing is, deep down I know if we get back I'd never trust her, and constantly expect her to bolt at the first sign of trouble. But at the moment its the only thing I can thing of to get the pain to stop. I dont know what it is, I didnt feel nothing at the time but now its hit me like a train.
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