Not the love ace Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Well me and my girlfriend aren't going out anymore and is going out with another guy. At the moment I feel like such a loser. Because my girlfriends new boyfriend is doing good in college, really good at graphics design etc. Unfortunately during and since the break up, I've gotten extremely ill and spent plenty of time indoors (the hospital) and lost my job (due to being sick). I'm upset because I don't know what the hell to do and feel like I'm losing her and everything. She has him so she feels good and even if anything happens, this guy has A LOT of friends to go to. I just feel like she's just having total victory and is singing victories of my misery. However, I don't have too many friends that I can really complain too, and my good friends aren't too good at making me feel any better. I feel shamed of myself. I don't want to look at myself in the mirror, I don't have the energy or ambition to go out and I feel like the world is laughing at me. I've never had this feeling before, it feels so emo which I hate. I just can't help but feel like a laughing stock especially since he and his friends had a good influence and persuading her to go out with him I'm sure of. I try to do things like exercising to release aggression or meditate, listen to music, play video games but it does not help because it just reminds me of some of the things me and my girlfriend enjoyed so much together. I just want truly get over this but its really eating me alive along with all the negative things that are happening to me right now. Granted I've been through worst things in life, but I feel like I'm taking a few steps back... This sucks.
Scorpio13c Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 Hi Ace, How long were you with her & how old are you? Don't worry, there is lots of help here & you'll get through this! Scorp
conan99 Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 I hate to hear you like this because, its exactly what i went through. I was told that losing a loved one to another person is WORSE than them dying because you also have the rejection etc. I suffered for a long time, but the feelings did pass. Actually I thought I was going nuts too, like losing reality, but these things pass too. I even lost my appetitie - I NEVER lose my appetite! I had to make an effort to eat something to keep my strength up! I like to think it was because I loved her so much, but it was probably more that I had made her the centre of my world, and with her gone, I felt pretty alone. At some stage you're going to have to say goodbye and feel the pain. You will get stronger. Hang in there, live day to day and get well soon. BTW, You're not a loser for not already moving on - take YOUR time and heal in YOUR way. You have every reason to look ahead to someone who treats you right and loves you.
Author Not the love ace Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 Hi Ace, How long were you with her & how old are you? Don't worry, there is lots of help here & you'll get through this! Scorp I was with her for two years and I am 22. I know its probably immature for me to act the way I am, but I can't deny my feelings. If I try to it makes it worst for me.
Author Not the love ace Posted February 28, 2009 Author Posted February 28, 2009 I hate to hear you like this because, its exactly what i went through. I was told that losing a loved one to another person is WORSE than them dying because you also have the rejection etc. I suffered for a long time, but the feelings did pass. Actually I thought I was going nuts too, like losing reality, but these things pass too. I even lost my appetitie - I NEVER lose my appetite! I had to make an effort to eat something to keep my strength up! I like to think it was because I loved her so much, but it was probably more that I had made her the centre of my world, and with her gone, I felt pretty alone. At some stage you're going to have to say goodbye and feel the pain. You will get stronger. Hang in there, live day to day and get well soon. BTW, You're not a loser for not already moving on - take YOUR time and heal in YOUR way. You have every reason to look ahead to someone who treats you right and loves you. Yeah, in this case I'm not totally being rejected though. She still talks to me and tells me she loves me but doesn't want to go out with me. She claims she isn't going out with the other guy, but I keep hearing other wise from a lot of people. I already caught her in a lie in that she did have something to do with him. So its hard for me to believe her. I'm tired of her lying right in my face thinking that I am naive and oblivious to everything. So I decided to go no contact with her for a while until she decides if and when she wants to contact me.
NWSTRT2121 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Dude I know how you feel man trust me. My gf moved on to another bf in a hurry and for the most part treated me like dirt from then on. It really shattered me to the core and I was a wreck for months before I began to even start to move on. For the first time this year I had an NC "relapse" and texted her when we hadnt spoken since December and I was pissed at myself. I was sick that week and was thinking about her alot because I wasnt doing much and finally texted her one day and told her I missed her. She responded with, "sorry been busy I don't know what you want me to say" and I just decided I needed to stop texting her right there and just get back on track to not letting her dominate my thoughts. We've been broken up almost a year and a half and I thought at this point, I would be totally over her now, but to be honest Im still kinda jealous of her social life and her bf. That's really most of it now, occasionally I'll remember something we did, but the jealousy is the majority of the fact she's still in my thoughts. But with that said, things will get better. Get yourself in a routine, use the internet as a tool to find local events and clubs you can be a part of in town, put yourself in positions where you can meet new people and start a new life for yourself. There is no shame in changing things up in your life and taking the time now to try new things instead of sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself. Learn to love yourself by doing things that make you feel good and while it may suck wanting to keep yourself busy just to get the mind off the ex, one day you'll find you have settled into a new life and things will get better. I still have my rough days like anyone else and days where Ill spend a little more time than normal dwelling on the ex, but at least I'm at the point where I have a pretty good routine going in my life and have set the foundation for myself to be happy again.
a_f_w Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 my gf was the full extent of my social life and friends. Perhaps the biggest step on my road to recovery was when I started "going out", doing things, and meeting people. I never normally did it at all, but I found places to go, events and activities, met new people, even some new girls. It did a lot of good for me. Go to anything, it doesn't matter what is so much as that you're doing *something* and meeting new people.
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