northstar1 Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 I've just gotten back into dating over the past two months, after a long uphill battle dealing with a painful breakup last spring. It was a very rough summer and fall and for a long time I felt a shell of myself. It had taken me a good 6 months of coping to get to a place where I finally felt I could date again. I'd done the whole NC, break NC, realize the mistake, go back to NC. I've now been in NC again for 3 months. A few dating attempts last summer had been disasterous, as I was comparing them to my ex and just not mentally focussed. I realized I wasn't ready and so shelved those plans and just focussed on myself I'd been out on dates with a few girls since New Years and one of them seemed to have potential and I began to accept that I could find happiness outside of my ex. We'd gone out a handful of times, things seemed to go well on the first few dates, good chemistry, conversation, passion, and then it just cooled off, mostly from her side, as it seemed she wasn't sure what she wanted (ie. something was missing). Since we stopped dating, she's being playing the "Can I still get attention from him?" game and still suggesting we meet up, but I'm not into playing games so I'm not doing that. But that's a whole other story. Since this most recent dating endeavour hasn't worked out, it's made me slide backwards again, and think of my ex a lot more and really miss her, and want to contact her (which I won't) and all the good things we had and how now it seems I may not find that again with the new dating. It feels like some of the progress I'd made has be undone lately and it's a bit depressing. Anyone else experienced this after getting back out there again after a breakup?
UCLAMike Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 yea take this time to heal. ur not going to find urself in the arms of another woman. u can date once ur ok with being alone.
foxh1234 Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 I've just gotten back into dating over the past two months, after a long uphill battle dealing with a painful breakup last spring. It was a very rough summer and fall and for a long time I felt a shell of myself. It had taken me a good 6 months of coping to get to a place where I finally felt I could date again. I'd done the whole NC, break NC, realize the mistake, go back to NC. I've now been in NC again for 3 months. A few dating attempts last summer had been disasterous, as I was comparing them to my ex and just not mentally focussed. I realized I wasn't ready and so shelved those plans and just focussed on myself I'd been out on dates with a few girls since New Years and one of them seemed to have potential and I began to accept that I could find happiness outside of my ex. We'd gone out a handful of times, things seemed to go well on the first few dates, good chemistry, conversation, passion, and then it just cooled off, mostly from her side, as it seemed she wasn't sure what she wanted (ie. something was missing). Since we stopped dating, she's being playing the "Can I still get attention from him?" game and still suggesting we meet up, but I'm not into playing games so I'm not doing that. But that's a whole other story. Since this most recent dating endeavour hasn't worked out, it's made me slide backwards again, and think of my ex a lot more and really miss her, and want to contact her (which I won't) and all the good things we had and how now it seems I may not find that again with the new dating. It feels like some of the progress I'd made has be undone lately and it's a bit depressing. Anyone else experienced this after getting back out there again after a breakup? I had the same experience North. It's normal for us to compare everyone with our ex's. What you and I both have to remember is that there will never be another like our ex's. The new one will be different- THEY WILL STAY WITH US!!!!:lmao: I say we just have to get out there and have no expectations. Let it happen and we will both find someone great. It's just a matter of time my friend. Peace
Author northstar1 Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 I had the same experience North. It's normal for us to compare everyone with our ex's. What you and I both have to remember is that there will never be another like our ex's. The new one will be different- THEY WILL STAY WITH US!!!!:lmao: I say we just have to get out there and have no expectations. Let it happen and we will both find someone great. It's just a matter of time my friend. Peace Thanks Fox, I guess it's just disappointing when you finally feel you are turning that corner, and getting over the ex, and then the carpet is yanked out.
Recommended Posts