mlh5046 Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 I am going to dinner with my ex tomorrow. She saw me last tuesday at a bar and said lets go to lunch(she waited till her new dude disappeared). So i saw her tonight again, twice at two bars randomly, and now shes probably pissed thinking I am stalking, but I told her how about lunch tomorrow, she said how about dinner instead I am busy during the day. To spare many details, she broke up with me after a 2 year relationship(about 5 weeks ago) and she said she didnt want a bf right now, but shes kinda with some other guy which im upset about, but i still love her (right now). Ive been playing this totally cool around her like I dont care and im not upset about it even tho its killing me inside. Any advice on what to do at dinner though??? Does she feel bad for me or does she want to see if there is a new spark and if I am more matured? I know there is no sure answer but does anyone have experience? Please !!!!
monkeymaid Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 if you want her back, its basically going to be in your attitude. she broke up with you so she has to do the work. you need to be calm cool and collected. you let her do most of the the talking, but when you talk, dont talk about the break up. if she mentions it, let her talk, and if she starts asking questions, make your answers really short, and joke like. ie: yeah i thnk about you when im on the toilet. ...it really reminds me of your smelly feet. or some such bs. if she presses and presses for answers, tell her that that is in the past and you dont really want to talk about it, but if she would like to have a fun convo, your up for that. if she starts begging, or even hinting about you 2 reconnecting, dont give in too soon, or she will see right through you, and know you have been all about her for the last 5 weeks (needy, clingy, emotional etc....) which ironically is unattractive to them and will only feed her ego. ...this may be an ego boost for her, or it may be a test. just be on guard good luck!
Author mlh5046 Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 Should I say anything regarding the new guy? Because when we broke up I told her I knew there was another guy waiting around and I knew who it was. Hes just taking advantage of my mistakes and using her. But should I bring it up? Im thinking no and she will cuz obviously it must be discussed.
Geishawhelk Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 I'm here wondering WTF you're doing going out to dinner with her when she's involved with someone else, but she's keeping you a secret..... I'd cancel dinner and tell her you'll be around for her when she's unattached, but you're not prepared to play the ping-pong game. This is insane.
SRV Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 I am going to dinner with my ex tomorrow. She saw me last tuesday at a bar and said lets go to lunch(she waited till her new dude disappeared). To spare many details, she broke up with me after a 2 year relationship(about 5 weeks ago) and she said she didnt want a bf right now, but shes kinda with some other guy which im upset about, but i still love her (right now). Ive been playing this totally cool around her like I dont care and im not upset about it even tho its killing me inside. Any advice on what to do at dinner though??? Does she feel bad for me or does she want to see if there is a new spark and if I am more matured? I know there is no sure answer but does anyone have experience? Please !!!! The underlined part of what you wrote is what she did to you before she broke up with you and she is kind of doing it to him. She is playing you, she does not want you back, she does not feel bad because of what is underlined above.
Author mlh5046 Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 Ok well I semi-agree she might not want me back, but why would she ask me out to lunch. Just to tell me how great she shes doing without me? I dont get it. What kind of game?
confused_2008 Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Ok well I semi-agree she might not want me back, but why would she ask me out to lunch. Just to tell me how great she shes doing without me? I dont get it. What kind of game? Feeding her ego most likely. To see if she's still got you hooked. That's why it's important if you do go to dinner like monkeymaid said, to play it cool. But you should probably just forget about it all together. It's understandable for you to feel wanted by her again, but think about it. She's with a new guy and may be trying to reconnect with you. Is that an attractive trait in a person? What's to keep her from doing that to you farther down the line if she gets bored again?
BCCA Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 She just wants to have her cake, and eat it, too. She's with this other guy, and flat out lied to your face by telling you that she 'didnt want a bf right now'. Thats the level of respect she has for you, she gave you an obviously BS excuse, and then went and found another guy. She has a bf man, whats the point of even TALKING to her, let alone going to dinner. Do you think seeing you eat food is going to bring back all her feelings, and that you two will fall madly back in live? Won't happen man, I can all but assure you this dinner will be an utter dissapointment. I've gone through enough of them in the past. Listen to Giesha, and do exactly what she said. Tell her she can call you when shes single, but youre not interested in playing the bench role. She's just using you for an ego boost, plain and simple.
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