haley121 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 So... it's been a few weeks since my ex and I broke up, and we've been NC the whole time. My ex's best friend just sent me a facebook message saying he's sorry how things turned out and he misses seeing me around. He also asks me what's going on in my life, how I am, and what my summer plans are. What is the protocol here? Obviously I'm on NC w/ the ex, but does that mean I can't talk to his friends either? I considered this guy a friend when I was dating my ex, but like I always told my ex, if we ever split up, I knew that "our friends" would just become "his friends" again, and I probably wouldn't see them much, if at all. I'm not exactly sure where this message is coming from. Does he just feel bad for me and is genuinely curious about what's going on in my life, or is he maybe fishing for info because my ex is curious? Does it even matter? I don't want to completely ignore his message because I don't want to be on bad terms with him.. eventually I'd like to maybe be able to hang out with all of them again once I'm over my ex. But how much info do I give? Should I just give a cryptic "I'm doing well" or is it OK to give some more details (all with the theme of "I'm doing well" because I actually am! ) He'll most likely pass along any info to my ex. Advice would be great--I trust people's opinions on here
Honest2Bob Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Well, it would be rude not to reply .. it would also convey to him that since you and your ex are done he is also accounted for with the ex. Maybe he has been interested in you considering the time line of his interest in your plans... maybe he simply cares about you as a friend. The truth could eventually develop in how he, and if he does, reply back to you. From your side, you can keep it as casual as can be.. if he's got other plans, he'll have to make the move for them. Plus, there's no hurt in getting a cup of coffee or taking a walk in the park.
rainbowbrite Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 that sounds really sketchy. it might be like ur ex bf telling his best friend to message you so he can keep tabs on you. that would be my first throught.
Author haley121 Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 Yeah, I thought it might mean he's interested...but he's told my ex before that I'm not really his type. He could have been lying or maybe he changed his mind now that I'm available, but I don't think that's it. I think it could be the keeping tabs thing. That's why I wasn't sure if I should respond. I don't necessarily want my ex knowing what's going on in my life, not because I'm on bad terms with him but just because I need to try and forget about him as much as possible. And I'm still healing, ya know, so I don't know if I want to be in contact with people who remind me of him, or even worse, who might tell me info about him, like if he's dating someone else, which I would rather not know about until I'm ready. But I definitely don't want to be rude either... I guess I will send something casual, a little info but not too much, and then I'll just go from there.
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