techfan Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Hi, quick question... after getting dumped by my ex girlfriend of 3 years two months ago I have been very very limited contact (3 times)... but two days ago I began NC. I think this is best for me to heal and even thou i want her back I have said everything i have to say and anything else at this point would come off as entirely needy and weak. Question to you guys thou is, since i'm going NC... and i don't want to know anything about her life and vice versa.... i guess i shouldn't hang out with mutual friends? Specifically I am good friends with one of her best friends.... and want to still hang out but i know that whatever i say to her best friend will get back to her. Does it hurt my healing to hang out with that friend, knowing what I say will make its way back? Even if I dont talk about the past, i wonder if me just knowing that my info will get back to her almost weakens the power of NC, as a manipulative tool or not.... At this point though i am doing it not to manipulate but for myself to heal. But still curious if you think that me knowing whatever i say will get back will affect my healing process. Make sense? Just curious of your thoughts at all.... I don't want to lose this other friend as well but maybe its for the best? At least for the next few months or so.... Thank you.
Melrapuo Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 If you were friends with these people before dating her, then you can still talk to them. Just let them know that you do not want to hear any information about your ex or hang out with them. I was pretty good friends with my ex's best friend, but I decided that the best thing I could do (despite her best friend being very sweet to me after the break up and being that she tried to help me get back with my ex for a bit) was to just cut off all contact with her. I've only talked to her best friend once since then, and it was just a "Hi how are ya?" moment. These things are tricky, but can be easily managed with some practice and time.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 I dont know why you should be afraid of what mutal friends thank about you. What do you think about you, you was the one that was dumped. You need to move on and live your life without fear of reprecussions. Forget your ex, as long as she aint bugging you right now, you should be happy about it.
Author techfan Posted March 2, 2009 Author Posted March 2, 2009 I guess its just the fact that I used to hang out with my ex and her best friend... never really just hung out with her best friend alone.... now if that were to happen it might just keep reminding me.... that and the fact that whatever I say is up with my life would get back to the ex.... Thats why I am questioning if it would affect my healing.
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