RoadtoRepair Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 For anyone reading this Forum looking for advice because you are thinking about an affair or newly into one.. all I can say is GET OUT NOW!! And honestly, that can be either get out of your marriage or get out of your affair - because the longer this goes on, the more hurt you will cause. You don't know it now because your groin (trying to make this gender neutral) is blocking reality. All that logic and reality that the rest of your body sees is being blocked by hormones and excitment and "fake" stuff.. You're not seeing or acknowledging the hurt you will cause your Spouse, your Kids, your Mom, your Dad, your Friends, your "cheating partner's" Spouse, their kids, their family, their friends... and it will happen, its only a matter of time. Affairs are selfish, hurtful, horrible acts of betrayal that one person does to another. They are cowardly and small. Grow up, talk to your spouse when you aren't happy and let them know how you are feeling and do what you have to when it is just the two of you... Yes, I was a cheater and am living in the aftermath of a destroyed spouse, a broken down relationship, kids sensing something is wrong, hours of therapy, a psychotic OW (I am talking bunny bolier and recently filed for a restraining order (read my other post)), distrust, hurt, pain.. the list goes on and on. I know it is hypocritical for me to be posting this but I just had to vent. I look back at myself during the affair and don't recognize who I was. I think back to the deception and evilness I did to make the affiar work and sustain it and I hate myself even more. When my wife breaks down in tears for no reason and says she has no idea who she is anymore.. GET OUT NOW... GROW UP... make the world a better place. I am done venting.. sorry for the downer.. but if it makes one person stop or prevent an affair, then I am happy. LEARN FROM MINE AND OTHERS' MISTAKES.. like that weightloss expression, "A moment on the lips; a lifetime on the hips" affairs are like "A moment in the hips; a lifetime in the ****s" 1
Reggie Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 I hpe this makes an impression. But, you are fighting a bit of an uphill battle with someone actively in an affair. The way these things are portrayed in movies, books etc. minimizes the damage and sometimes glamourizes this stuff. I rally think many WSs see it as no big deal until they see,firsthand, the damage.
blueintheface Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 at least you're still alive. seriously, the way you describe the OW freaks me out everytime. i hope things work out for you. and also venting ... my most hated phrase of the decade "i love you but i'm not in love with you". total cop-out! why not just say "hey, you just don't give me that fuzzy wuzzy feeling so i'm going to look somewhere else" =P.
65tr6 Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 GET OUT NOW!! " and have the balls (not sure what the neutral term is) to confess....to your spouse now ! At the minimum they deserve to know what you have done. hours of therapy, " how is this helping you ? Did you need therapy to tell you made the biggest blunder of your life or feel remorseful ? (just asking). LEARN FROM MINE AND OTHERS' MISTAKES.. " funny thing is i always believed in this...And it always helped me to prevent making mistakes in the first place. Didnt count on my wife though. And I am paying for it.
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