just curious how many of you have discovered your exs to be manipulators

[le_caz]

after you broke up, like me a few of you seem to have been trying to get your exs back and still have feelings for your exs.

 

a post i read here earlier stated something that hit me more or less "exs can be manipulative especially if they dumped you" and "they have no respect for you otherwise they wouldn't contact you, they would let you heal".

 

im back in contact with my ex and im getting the hints now that she might be trying to manipulate me (its not working) however i would be interested in finding out if any of your exs tried to manipulate/use you and what they did to do it?

[samspade]

"exs can be manipulative especially if they dumped you" and "they have no respect for you otherwise they wouldn't contact you, they would let you heal".

 

It's up to you whether you want to allow yourself to be manipulated. Blaming your ex is an easy excuse. Most of the people who rag on their exes for being manipulators are guilty of letting it happen.

 

That doesn't excuse the manipulator, but it's common for people who are heartbroken to "suddenly" realize how manipulative their exes are. They're just human and engaging in predictable behavior. You can't control what they do, but you can control how (and whether) you respond.

[Melrapuo]

I noticed my ex's manipulative ways when I was letting myself be dragged along while she was still dating the guy she left me for. And when she dumped him and tried to be friendly to me, I noticed how she was looking more for attention and was afraid of being alone. She tried to keep me around, but I knew the moment she found someone new I was going to be dropped pretty fast. I left pretty fast. I've heard that she's asked about me through mutual friends, but I told her a long time ago that we could never be friends, and its best we both just move on and try to find someone new. I know I have, and she has too.

 

People can be manipulative and not realize how manipulative they really were. And people are just as easily manipulated too. Hindsight is always 20/20 though.

[BCCA]

I'll give my ATM analogy:

 

Imagine there is an ATM downstairs from your house. Everytime you press 1111, it spits out a $20 bill. Now, most people are just going to keep pressing that code until the money stops flowing, but how many are going to consider that someone is losing money here? Not a lot, thats human nature.

 

We are all short sighted. Thats why people give BS breakup excuses and such, because it doesnt matter later, they just want to get through right this second.

 

As far as being a manipulator, we all are to some degree. The problem with ex's is that we want to consider their intentions genuine, so we don't even stop to think about their other motivations. If you are manipulated, you are 50% responsible for allowing yourself to be in that situation. Yes, the other person wasnt very nice for doing that, but again, I really dont think people think that far ahead.

[BackonTrack2]

i'll keep it short, i had someone, a gf, i thought we were together, turns out she was fawking someone else for at that time roughly 6 months and in her head it was over between us, sort of, she was confused and thought she had found better, guy had apt, friends loved him + i think sex was better (not sure)

 

things came to light, i tried to end it but a) i loved her to much and b) she kept begging.

 

somewhere during the course of the breakup, the tables turned, and i ended up being the one dumped, and heartbroken, the ex began to attempt to manlipulate me into being her friend, i realized she wasn't come back.

 

then she would try to turn the tables around on me to be FRIENDS, why I don't know, I think its because I was giving her money and she didn't want to loose that money, eventually i broke down, thats when she sent a really hurtful email, i awoke 1 year later.

 

so to answer your question, once they don't care about you, they start to use you so they can get what they want, in hindsight, i realize now that my ex went exploring and liked what she found, at the same time she didn't want to loose me so she maintain the lies for as long as it was possible, and when it came to light, i somehow was a girly man and she kicked me to the curb.

 

i have not heard back from her in about 1 year, during the breakup,

i drove by her house

emailed her and said my mind was messed up and i was sorry, to delete all my emails

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she said some slick smack

i emailed her cursed her out

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she replied 2 weeks later indicating i was harassing her by phoning my cousin

 

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few months passed, i drunken called/texted her, no answer

 

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never contacted her again after that...

 

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been a year, haven't heard from her except when i unblocked her about 2 months ago on FB, within 24 hours, she changed her status to "in a relationship" of the unblock

 

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what i realize now is when its over, its over, nothing u can do, and when the female lets another inside of her continuously, the relationship can no longer work out.

 

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oh yeah, in the end she blamed me for not being mature enough to be friends (in hindsight, i should of stuck to my guns when i threw her out)