freeheart Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Source: http://selfimprovementhelp.net/how-other-people-steal-your-energy-keep-your-power Many people often experience feeling rejected or not getting a response to things they have said. You know the situation where you are talking with someone and the other part of the conversation forgets to listen and comment on what you say, and instead go on about what he or she wanted to talk about. When I experience that the person I am talking to is not giving me any response to what I am saying, I feel rejected and am not sure if the person has heard what I have said. This makes me less interested in the conversation and instead I begin to think about what I have to do. I listen with only one ear and repeat myself hoping that this time I will get a response. A response is: I have tried that too I agree with that Can you expand on that? I will think about that I disagree with that Can you tell me more about that? Oh, that was a shame How can you keep up with that? Wow thats great! Congratulations with that! I am happy to hear that! What do you think about that? Are you sure about this? And so on.. A good response could also be: To tell a story about something similar Give Inspiration Give advice where you can take whats useful and discard the rest Ask follow up questions and pursue the answers Sit quit and listen, nod, look intensely at the other person When you don’t get a response then the conversation ends and you feel depleted of energy, and you haven’t gotten anything back, while you have given something to the other person, who has taken without giving back. When we are in love in the beginning, usually both are good at giving response, but as time goes by many times response gets less and less. It is also possible to give a response that shuts down the other person. I am sure you have tried to share something intimate with something, only to get a response that made you stop sharing. You loose contact and the conversation dies. Examples of a negative response: You tell that you have just bought a new blouse. The other says: It looks ok, will you make some coffee now? The one who told the story, feels like nothing and loses energy. You tell that you have just fixed your car. The other replies: Oh, thats about time, you have been talking about that for ages. You will feel diminished and accused and decide to stop telling about things that go well for you. You tell that you have been bullied. The other replies: But you were probably not innocent? You feel rejected because you did not receive empathy before critisism. When you are spending time with another person it is very important to observe if you get something back from that person, so your energy remains and isn’t stolen by the other person. When you are listening to a person that always blames other persons for their problems, then you can understand why few people want to listen to that person. I only listen to a person, when he or she talks about their own faults and what experiences they have had and what they have learned from that. Pointing out others faults will only get you stuck in the same old misery. The reason for blaming others is that you then get release of your negative emotions instead of having to face them in yourself and release them in that way. Ouch! That hurts! But do it the right way and you will be free afterwards!
knaveman Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 This is copypasta. Move along, nothing to see here.
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