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Being myself worked, but not in the way I intended.


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I haven't posted here in a while and I'm not a regular, so I'll just talk a little about myself in regards to women. I am not a shy person, I can talk with most women without getting nervous. As long as she doesn't sit there and look completely bored, I can somehow keep her engaged in a conversation. However, taking it into the next step has always been a challenge.

 

Anyways, when I want to simply be friends with a person (whether it's a male or female, it doesn't matter), I am basically myself. When I try to ask out a person, I am not completely myself and "hide my cards" so to speak, I don't reveal everything about myself because I want to keep myself somewhat mysterious.

 

Well guess what, being myself ended up having a girl becoming interested in me, but my intention was to just be friends with her. I really had no romantic interest in her, and I had to tell her it wasn't going to happen, and now I just lost her as a friend, along with all her friends :/ It sucks.

 

I realized that being not completely myself probably has to do with why I fail at getting a date. But at the same time, I can't always be myself especially in a more professional environment, i.e. the office is where my love interest is. And this also sucks.

 

The way I usually try to take a girl at the office to a personal level is try to hang out with her after hours, but they wouldn't even give me a chance. I can't completely be myself at the office, I maintain a certain level of professionalism. So it's been a dilemma.

 

I am not particualrly asking for a solution, but just wanted some insights regarding my attitude. What can be changed? What else should I be looking at?

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