He is finally moving!!!!

[lkjh]

FF, you really are a pathetic person. Everything in your life still revolves around him, all of your post are about him, about your fantasy that he is doing all of this because of you, you still post in the OW forum and you still don't give a s*** about your H and kids. Sounds like he is the one that wants this to end......not you. He is the one moving and you are the one all torn up about it. He is the one that was just in it for the sex and you are the one trying to believe that you actually meant something to him. You said it yourself, he has hit on every woman in your neighborhood. Do you really think that you are the only woman he is having a affair with? No you are just the one who is addicted to it. You remind me of Katie Holmes character in abandon, you are just hallucinating.

[troubadour]

FF, you really are a pathetic person. Everything in your life still revolves around him, all of your post are about him, about your fantasy that he is doing all of this because of you, you still post in the OW forum and you still don't give a s*** about your H and kids. Sounds like he is the one that wants this to end......not you. He is the one moving and you are the one all torn up about it. He is the one that was just in it for the sex and you are the one trying to believe that you actually meant something to him. You said it yourself, he has hit on every woman in your neighborhood. Do you really think that you are the only woman he is having a affair with? No you are just the one who is addicted to it. You remind me of Katie Holmes character in abandon, you are just hallucinating.

 

 

It is 100% true.

[Owl]

FF, realize that even WWIU has consistently urged you to tell your H and work on your marriage...and only stopped because she's seen over and over how you refuse to even consider taking that step in the right direction.

 

If I'm wrong...WWIU please correct me ASAP.

 

I'm not interested in bashing you.

 

But I'm also not interested in coddling you.

 

Why do you expect to heal, when you refuse to change?

 

Why do you continue to complain about OM, when the REAL problem lies within your own home...within your own heart?

 

Why do you obsess about what's going on in his life, when you still need to do so much to improve yours?

 

How can you possibly expect anyone on this forum to help you when you refuse to even acknowledge or consider the advice given to you?

[LovieDove24]

To be honest, I'm surprised FF is still posting on this forum. I'm even more surprised that she is still being honest and divulging her feelings for xMM. She knows everyone is going to keep throwing stones, so why do it?

 

To be honest, I think FF likes people who beat her up emotionally. I think it may be slightly reaching, but its possible that her xMM filled the role of making her feel like crap and now that he's gone, she needs to find it somewhere else.

 

Many, many people enjoy relationships with people who make them feel crappy...it validates the way they feel on the inside. Its like looking in a mirror as opposed to staring at a blank wall and hoping to see your reflection. Its simple psychology really. And of course all of this goes on subconciously, but its necessary to feed the extremely low self esteem she has.

 

FF you asked how you can get over him? You need to start doing things you are proud of. Attend church, join a prayer group, volunteer your time...something. If you can start holding yourself to a higher esteem, truly things will start falling into place.

[Reggie]

I agree with this, but I am guessing that you will not be saying anything to your H about the MM. In fact, you are relieved because now it appears that you will never have to say anything.

 

BUT...can you at least begin focusing on what caused the affair in the first place?

 

And beware, such secrets can still come out in the open.

 

I agree with this. Time to look inside, then maybe you can address the marriage. But fix what is broken within you first. You cannot rely strictly on logistical changes to avoid this in the future.

[Reggie]

Wow, today has been really hard. I know that his moving is a good thing, then why am I so upset. He has open houses after open houses and I feel like he is moving because of me. He is moving because I would not do what he wanted me to do. He is doing this to one up me because I told him my h was twice then man he was. If he claimed to love me like he did how could he not care one iota now. How do you move on when you never get closure? I know I am still dwelling on him, while everyone's advice is right and true it is hard to accept this is the end.

 

How do I put closure on what was part of my life for three years? Why is it so easy for him to move on? I know he would not be moving if I would of stayed in the affair.

 

He seems to be over the moon that he is moving. How can someone go from loving you two months ago to hating you when you have done nothing except stand up for yourself. I know you are all shaking your hands, but I feel like I cannot fully move until I get closure which I will never get from him. I want to expose him to the world for the phony he is. He has everyone fooled including his wife. I want to text him and tel him the only place he is moving is a trailer park so start packing.

 

If it wasn't for my kids and my h I would take him down. I can't stand to see him go totally unscathed when I have been through a living hell for three years. Sorry for the rant

 

CAn someone explain "closure"? It seems like one of those new age catch all phrases. like "soulmate" or "connection"'

Why take him down? You did it to yourself.

Try this for closure: tell yourself "I decided to cheat with a NPD. Now, I want to get therapy for this problem and stop hurting myself and others."

[whichwayisup]

To be honest, I'm surprised FF is still posting on this forum. I'm even more surprised that she is still being honest and divulging her feelings for xMM. She knows everyone is going to keep throwing stones, so why do it?

 

Because she's been here a long time. She gets support. She has friends here and can openly talk about her feelings, thoughts etc.. Sure, there are some people who give her a hard time but she obviously STILL needs help and isn't letting those who are rude to her push her away from this site.

 

And yes Owl, I do think she needs to come clean to her husband, only because he knows something is 'off' and it's only a matter of time before he finds out either on his own or speaks to the exMM. Or, a nosy neighbour gossips and he finds out that way.

[Reggie]

To be honest, I'm surprised FF is still posting on this forum. I'm even more surprised that she is still being honest and divulging her feelings for xMM. She knows everyone is going to keep throwing stones, so why do it?

 

To be honest, I think FF likes people who beat her up emotionally. I think it may be slightly reaching, but its possible that her xMM filled the role of making her feel like crap and now that he's gone, she needs to find it somewhere else.

 

Many, many people enjoy relationships with people who make them feel crappy...it validates the way they feel on the inside. Its like looking in a mirror as opposed to staring at a blank wall and hoping to see your reflection. Its simple psychology really. And of course all of this goes on subconciously, but its necessary to feed the extremely low self esteem she has.

 

FF you asked how you can get over him? You need to start doing things you are proud of. Attend church, join a prayer group, volunteer your time...something. If you can start holding yourself to a higher esteem, truly things will start falling into place.

 

I agree with this. Makes a lot of sense to me. She needs help(therapy).