forbidden fruit Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I was on vacation with family and when I came back I noticed the xmm house was for sale. no they are not getting divorced. So my prayers havve been answered and now NC is complete. Yeah!!!!!
White Flower Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 That is wonderful! Out of sight and out of mind. You'll get over this much quicker now. Best, WF.
Author forbidden fruit Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 I forgot to mention he is only moving a couple of blocks away, but as far as I am concerned it might as well be the south pole. Three blocks I will take. I think he is moving because of me, but everyone else thinks he is moving because he always needs something new, plus he used up all of his supply in our neighborhood. Whatever the case hopefully his house will sell and hasta la vista baby!!
bentnotbroken Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 So now the responsibility is out of your hands as far a contact with him. But your H isn't moving, and that pink elephant is still in your house.
Meaplus3 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 I was on vacation with family and when I came back I noticed the xmm house was for sale. no they are not getting divorced. So my prayers havve been answered and now NC is complete. Yeah!!!!! Oh wow FF that's great news. I hope now once and for all this can be put behind you and you can focus on your H and children. I'm so happy to hear this. Mea:)
White Flower Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 So now the responsibility is out of your hands as far a contact with him. But your H isn't moving, and that pink elephant is still in your house. How did it turn to pink? LOL
bentnotbroken Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 How did it turn to pink? LOL :DHe's promoting breast cancer awareness.
Owl Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 FF, I'm curious...were you able to keep the affair from resuming over these last several weeks since your last post? Great news that he's moving away. I do agree with BNB's assessment tho...what are you doing to fix your marriage situation? Perhaps once OM is actually out of your lives, you'll be able to finally address your marriage, and tell your H the truth?
JamesM Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 I do agree with BNB's assessment tho...what are you doing to fix your marriage situation? Perhaps once OM is actually out of your lives, you'll be able to finally address your marriage, and tell your H the truth? I agree with this, but I am guessing that you will not be saying anything to your H about the MM. In fact, you are relieved because now it appears that you will never have to say anything. BUT...can you at least begin focusing on what caused the affair in the first place? And beware, such secrets can still come out in the open.
whichwayisup Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Good that he's moving out the neighbourhood! Just hope that he doesn't contact you.. But if he does, IGNORE him. Time to focus on your husband and reconnect with him.
NoIDidn't Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 I agree with James that your glee seems centered on your own comfort and ability to further conceal the affair. I agree with BNB about working to fix your own marriage too because the other OM that you almost got involved with shows that this moving MM was really not the problem you made him out to be.
JamesM Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 I just had a thought....who will be your new neighbors? What if it is a handsome guy who has the hots for you? How will you handle him?
Owl Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Or a hot young thing that starts drooling on your H? Would you want him to let you know if she started coming on to him? Or would you prefer that they just do the deed and keep it out of your eyesight?
Meaplus3 Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 I just had a thought....who will be your new neighbors? What if it is a handsome guy who has the hots for you? How will you handle him? I think she can avoid all the above if she makes a full commitment to work on her marriage. But, I agree that if any of the above where to actually come true.. then I'd have the same questions as you. Mea:)
Author forbidden fruit Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 You guys are really reaching. Xmm was as bad as everyone and I knew him to do be a complete narcissist. I am 100% at fault for my own actions in the way I handled him, but make no mistake he is a scum of a person. He is moving I think because he has worn out his welcome in this neighborhood. Everyone knows what kind of person he is. He has hit on practically every woman on our street in one form of another. I was the stupid one who actually took the bait. Now that I told him I will call the cops if he comes near me, he knows we are kaput. WWIU, I am almost positive he will not contact me because I have not let him in and have been in NC for about 3 months. He has not walked his front door in that time. He does not want anything to ruin his gravy train. I know I will never hear from me again. I just wish he was moving tomorrow. It cannot soon enough. He wants all new supply from his new neighbors. He needs new women to lure so he can make himself better. I did not almost get involved with my ex-boyfriend. I ended that before it began.
Owl Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 How were we "reaching"? Regardless of how bad of a person he was...at the end of the day, it worked. You ended up being in a long term affair with him. If it worked with him being such a sleazeball...what would cause you NOT to fall into it with someone who actually wasn't? Or...how would you respond if your H was suddenly attracted to a new FEMALE neighbor? These aren't reaching...they're valid questions that you should seriously consider.
Owl Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Frankly...my 'questions' above are still centered around repairing/rebuilding/reconciling your marriage. I get that the affair is over, and you no longer want to have anything to do with OM...and that's a great thing. But there is still a lot of work to be done in your own home at this point...and I'm curious what steps you're taking in THAT direction?
Meaplus3 Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 How were we "reaching"? Regardless of how bad of a person he was...at the end of the day, it worked. You ended up being in a long term affair with him. If it worked with him being such a sleazeball...what would cause you NOT to fall into it with someone who actually wasn't? Or...how would you respond if your H was suddenly attracted to a new FEMALE neighbor? These aren't reaching...they're valid questions that you should seriously consider. I agree with what owl said 100%. And I will add that your are still going to be suseptible to another man or affair of some sort until YOU mend your marriage. The fact that you almost got involved with an old BF.. should tell YOU something right there. Mea:)
NoIDidn't Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 I agree with what owl said 100%. And I will add that your are still going to be suseptible to another man or affair of some sort until YOU mend your marriage. The fact that you almost got involved with an old BF.. should tell YOU something right there. Mea:) ITA, Mea. And I'm not trying to be mean. If FF doesn't fix what she has broken, she will always be in this unstable emotional state. Unstable not meaning crazy. Unstable meaning unbalanced and unfit for the long-term.
Meaplus3 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Xmm is hoovering!!! Hoovering where FF? What's going on?? Mea:)
Author forbidden fruit Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 He is using his kids to get in contact with me. Yesterday he had his child ask my child if they could play and then did not follow up. I just ignored the whole thing, but I wish he would move already. I am so tired of his antics. He has not walked out his front door in two months, but continues to play games.
Owl Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 I get the "hoovering" reference now...he's trying to suck you back in. What are you doing to make it stop? Ignoring him will never work...you've seen that already. Again...he's suffered no consequence for his action, so he's got no reason to stop. AGAIN...there's no getting out of this as long as your families maintain any kind of contact. Given that you'd mentioned that your kids all play together, and that your H interacts with him...do you honestly think that's going to go away when he moves? Or do you think your kids are going to ask to go visit and play with his kids...and your H will opt to go along with it, blithely ignorant of the affair? Think about that...do you think the interactions will END when he moves? Or are you just hoping that they will, with no plans on how to make that happen?
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