How can I win my girlfriend back? I know this isn't new or unique by the way

[Sensation_Nation]

Me and my girlfriend had a pretty rough break-up about a month ago but we're still talking to each other and really care and love each other a whole bunch.

 

I live about 3 hours away from her in NYC and she lives in upstate NY. We get to see each other at least twice a month and had a relationship for about almost two years. Once she started community college she met this guy who she hated at first but ended up having and thing for. So eventually,they did some things and they hung out.

 

What caused the break up was that I found out she had a relationship with another dude and while they weren't going out, I did get extremely jealous. She told me they never had sex but they did kiss and held hands. Its hard for me to believe because she spent the night at his house and it really bothered me and made my imagination spiral out-of-control and think more happened.

 

Of course we got into a big argument and got emotional and all. She told me the reason why she did that was because I kept accusing her of liking that guy (since she mentioned him a few times), and because I didn't trust her fully (which is partially true).

 

We got over all of that, and at the moment she doesn't want a relationship and I suspect its because of that guy. Even if its not I know maybe some of the things I done might have pushed her away, and made her feel unwanted.

 

I'm not sure but before this we had a super-tight relationship and we're still talking and she says maybe in a few months we can get back together. Though she messed up I feel she's trying to reverse everything on me and make it seem as that I am the one that made her do that, and sadly to say I feel like I did to an extent, though I did not cheat on her but maybe by not trusting her enough or having to many suspicious did I cause it to happened.

 

But I am confused because in person, we truly had the best time and never had one stupid argument. I'm going terribly insane, and I truly want her back. Not out of pride but because I would hate to lose everything we had to some guy she's known for only a short time.

 

Every time I mention how it effected me and how it hurts me she never really lets it sink into her and I don't know if she's doing that because she doesn't want to think about how she hurt me or if she just doesn't care too much and is convinced that she's justified.

 

Its driving me up the wall and I just can't concentrate on everything. She still calls me, contacts me and we still talk and she mentions how she loves me but I just really want her back but I feel like she doesn't understand how I feel.

 

What can I do to get her back and to make her understand me? I truly love this girl and I don't want to play victim. Is there anything I can change that I do? Just any advice would help.

 

 

Thank you

[monkeymaid]

why do you want to put yourself through all of that again?

[EmperorR]

You can't win somebody back

[dudemag]

you didn't "make" her do anything. she cheated on you plain and simple. she made the decision not you. guilty liars will usually try to put a spin on things to save face.

[ddraper2]

Technically you can win someone back, but the question seems to me, why do you want to? She cheated on you and unless you can prevent that, which is also possible, you shouldn't put yourself through that again. If you want a chance though, find yourself another attractive woman and go out with her a little bit. Do not be as available as you are for your ex. When she does call let her know you are going out on a date. She will usually get jealous and try to win you back at that point, if she still has feelings for you.