Isolde Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Some women play hard to get with guys they like, too. We get so much conflicting advice--"men like the chase" vs "be yourself." It's not always a power trip.
BobSacamento Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Trying to play hard to get or trying not to look desperate, in the end the man sees no difference and it's just a nuisance.
ruggy Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Some women play hard to get with guys they like, too. We get so much conflicting advice--"men like the chase" vs "be yourself." It's not always a power trip. Oh, bull. Why go out with a guy for two months every week and then all of a sudden forget about the next date that you (the woman) planned? Then, to pour salt on the wound, e-mail the man three weeks later with a whole reason as to why she forgot the date. Then say it ended wrong, her fault. Then contact the man to meet up to return something which the man said to send in the mail. Huh. WTF. Mind games, nutz, psycho, evil, call it what you will. Wrong. That is what it is called.
carhill Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 I think I'll just keep the cat. She gets bitchy, but cheese keeps her from playing hard to get. That and my warm body at night. At least I know where her claws are On topic, IMO, the best way to piss away a good guy is by playing games with him. I'd rather pet the cat than play mind games with a woman
39388 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Some women play hard to get with guys they like, too. We get so much conflicting advice--"men like the chase" vs "be yourself." It's not always a power trip. Could it depend on what the man is doing too? I know I'd hate "the chase", but some other men might enjoy the chase.
Isolde Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Oh, bull. Why go out with a guy for two months every week and then all of a sudden forget about the next date that you (the woman) planned? Then, to pour salt on the wound, e-mail the man three weeks later with a whole reason as to why she forgot the date. Then say it ended wrong, her fault. Then contact the man to meet up to return something which the man said to send in the mail. Huh. WTF. Mind games, nutz, psycho, evil, call it what you will. Wrong. That is what it is called. I wasn't describing that sort of situation. I meant if a girl always waits for the guy to call, etc. I still think the latter is stupid but some girls are just too scared
Chicago_Guy Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 It's been my experience and observation that guys tend to fall HARD for the girls who don't give two hoots about them. She's not playing hard to get, or anything else... she simply does not care. This drives men crazy. Most guys I know would not chase after women who showed no interest in them. What would be the point?
ruggy Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 I wasn't describing that sort of situation. I meant if a girl always waits for the guy to call, etc. I still think the latter is stupid but some girls are just too scared This is the first time EVER when dating since my teens a woman goes out with me for seven weeks (weekly) and then jets when things start to get a bit tense. I do not know why I did not see this earlier. Hence, you can see why I am not a bit negative to the other gender. Mind you, this is just for the women in the New York City metro area. They are all that I have had experience with. So pardon my sometimes leftist answers to posts. Nothing personal, just experience. Maybe bad experience, but experience none the less.
moman Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 I liked it more when I was younger and it seemed like a 'conquest' to win a girl who was a little challenging. Now I stop calling at the slightest sign of games. I've found that one action typically ends the game immediately and results in a free dinner. Life is too short, and there are too many beautiful women around the world to worry about one who is playing games in podunk USA.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 I just read Why Men Marry Bitches yesterday. I avoided these kinds of books for years, but now that I'm in the middle of my single year, I've decided to read some of them out of curiosity, and to see what pop culture dating is like. The main idea is not to be a bitch, but to have your own life, goals, social circle, confidence, and happiness, on your own, with no help from a man. A man doesn't want to feel that he is just the random anonymous schmo that gets planted into a woman's happy couple fantasy. He wants her to love him for him, because they are actually a good fit. I've never been a bitch, but I have always had my own passions and goals, I've always supported myself, and I stand up for who I am and what I believe in. If a guy doesn't like me for who I am, he can move along. I do not compromise myself, my values, or my goals just to be with a man. Knowing who you are and what you want is an attractive quality for anyone to have, man or woman. Not being available all the time gives him time to think about you, to wonder where you are and what you're doing. I would not advocate intentionally playing games, but I do advocate having your own life that does not completely revolve around him and your relationship.
fishtaco Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Yes, yes, men like bitches and women like jerks. Men like it when women play hard to get, and women like it when men treat them like crap. We've all heard these things many many times before, nothing new. Now only if dating were really that simple. The main idea is not to be a bitch, but to have your own life, goals, social circle, confidence, and happiness, on your own, with no help from a man. That's good advice for both men and women. If one's life has a hole in it, getting a BF or GF won't fix it. No one should depend on another person for happiness. That's just going to end badly, period.
yeex Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Why try to be a bitch or a jerk? If you have a life outside the relationship then you are naturally not going to be clingy and there will be natural space. If you are not returning calls on purpose and calculating strategies and such then you don't have a life. I went out with a girl for a brief time once and I knew she was playing these silly games. She did not have much of a life other then watching TV. Whenever we were hanging out she always answered her calls or checked messages when they came in. When she did not return my calls and then finally did a week later and said she was sooo busy, I thought yeah right. Actually when you know about these games and you can tell the other person is playing them, it really is a turn off. And men and women both play them, so watch out.
tincanman99 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 I dont think most men like women that play hard to get. Actually it just aggravates most men and a lot cant be bothered. Personally if I get a sense that I have to pursue you relentlessly I bail out. I stop calling and contacting you because you are playing games. I figure that I am just 1 guy of X number of guys you are messing with. Why would I waste my time on someone who is only kind of interested or is juggling me. Yes everyone wants options but I refuse to play the applicant for a job game. By this I mean she is taking resumes to fill her position of boyfriend , life is stressful enough without having to endure that in my personal life.
You'reasian Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Oh, bull. Why go out with a guy for two months every week and then all of a sudden forget about the next date that you (the woman) planned? Then, to pour salt on the wound, e-mail the man three weeks later with a whole reason as to why she forgot the date. Then say it ended wrong, her fault. Then contact the man to meet up to return something which the man said to send in the mail. Huh. WTF. Mind games, nutz, psycho, evil, call it what you will. Wrong. That is what it is called. Nothing wrong with what you've got going for you - women like kindness, but completely despise niceness. Kind = acceptable. Just being good natured, doing good things just because, having your heart in the right place. Nice = unacceptable. You are trying too hard, you want to jump thru hoops, you're not someone interesting etc. But ultimately, just don't give a _______ - do your own thing, be respectful, but always be your own man.
climbergirl Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Every guy on here will say that they DON'T like women who play hard to get. They are on the defense because stating it as such insinuates that they're getting "played." Now with that being said, they will rephrase it as such like BCCA did. They like mystery and intrigue. If you want the honest truth, what you need to do is be slow. Not quick. Maybe thats something both parties can agree on. You need to be slow to unfold your personality, slow to respond cuz girl you're busy! and slow to let a man become your priority. This way, its not so much like game playing as it is self preservation. You have to prioritize yourself first before you can let someone else in. Essentially, I think this is what men are looking for. playing and theres nothing Beautifully put! Maybe it's not a game, but rather a defense mechanism. But I like the way you worded it LD.
Author Lucky555 Posted February 27, 2009 Author Posted February 27, 2009 I do have a pretty busy life as it is. I just found it interesting that the more she stayed "away" when she was not with him the more he wanted her. He called mostly too. I think maybe its my habits that interfere. I have to continuously check my e-mail at least 3 times a day for updates regarding my stuff. So otherwise i see someone sends my a message i write back......BIG NO, its too much contact. If i slow it down and answer the next day well then thats fine. Its not that I check for his messages or clingy..its just like i respond and i leave it at that. But now that i don't do this the guy is actually pursuing more. I will take everything into consideration. I will try not to play games but just leave it slowwww. I guess you have to keep it interesting.
clv0116 Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Every guy on here will say that they DON'T like women who play hard to get. They are on the defense because stating it as such insinuates that they're getting "played." Now with that being said, they will rephrase it as such like BCCA did. They like mystery and intrigue. Buzzzt. Fail. Guys don't like clingy chicks. Calling us or guilting on us when you think we didn't call soon or often enough is an issue. Playing games is also an issue but if we know you're a game player we can deal with it. For instance, you flake on a Friday night date, you don't get Friday or Saturday nights any more. It's a simple matter of damage control.
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