D-1 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I POSTED A MESSAGE A FEW DAYS AGO AND RECEIVED SOME INFORMATIVE REPLIES. I WOULD NOW LIKE TO POST THE BELOW NEW MESSAGE AND AM LOOKING FOR ADVICE ON WHAT TYPE AND WHERE TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP... Hi all I feel I need professional help to help me resolve my insecurities. I would like to post this message and hear from people who have had similar problems to me and what kind of help they seeked and if that help actually worked. This should give you alittle background to my insecurities. 1) I find it very difficult to trust people. Therefore I find myself very secretive to people (average joes). I am very open and honest to my partners as that is the way it must be in a r'ship. I believe my partners are honest to me too. At times my partner will tell me something (it may not be of any importance) and I will remember it. If a week or month later that same topic gets brought up again but this time I hear something slightly different then I will question her. I sort of see it like 'why am I hearing two diiferent stories? - is she lying to me?'. I need to stop this as I'm pushing her away as she feels I'm always testing her. 2) If she goes out into town I get nervous as I always feel she may be chatted up by some guy and then that becomes a threat to me. To eliminate that from happening I would prefer it if she didn't go out. Also another reason I would prefer it if she didn't go out is because she may bump into one of her previous boyfriends and ignite an old flame. Also I hate the thought of my partner being imtimate with her previous boyfriends even if it was before she met me. The thing I hate the thought of most is in her younger days she went out, got drunk and then was intimate with someone. I hate the thought as it was the drink that made her do it. I've never done it myself so I can't understand it. I see it as very cheap and nasty. I've had sex with some people after meeting them only twice but I've never had sex with someone on a drunken night. So what I'm saying here is becaused I don't understand it it must be wrong. I know feeling and being like this is very destructive for my partner and most of all for myself self. I need to change but have trouble thinking differently by myself. I believe this all stems from my childhood and has resulted in me just simply not trusting people. I really want help and to not think like this anymore as it making the good things in my life distance themselves from me. I also wonder if I need something alittle stronger than just talking to someone as I think it's ingrained into me and I'm also probably just too stubborn to listen. I just want to be able to not these things bother me. For instance if she spent two minutes in a bar chatting to an ex then it wouldn't bother me in the slighest. At the moment if that happened I would hit the roof. If anyone has thought like me OR knows the best way of dealing with this OR knows precisely what type of professional help I need, then please reply to this post? Thanks in advance.
Recommended Posts