tobefree Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 ex has got a new bf Just learned that my ex has got a new bf after we broke up several months ago. I dont know why i still think of her and she is still in my heart though we know we are incompatible due to religious issues. I am feeling sad to be honest and feeling like crying after hearing that she has got a new bf. I know i am living in the past now. In our relationship we aruged a lot about religion. She was a Christian who was hoping to convert me to become a christian too. But i was not willing to do so. She became enraptured whenever she talked about God. When i wasn't interested listening to her lecturing on God she became quite unhappy with me. In our relationship God plays a very very important part of her life. I know she always puts her God first in her life, outweighing her family and friends. She is quite religious. I knew we would never work out our relationship but i still loved her a lot. Even now i think i still love her. But now she has got a new bf in such a short time. I dont think she ever cherishs what we had in the past. I know whatever i do to her is not enough if i dont accept Jesus. I dont know if she used God as an excuse to break up with me. We were on a long distance relationship where she was in Malaysia and i was in China. I dont know what to say, i am just engulfed with sadness. I know i should let go of her but i know i still love her. Anyone who would like to talk with me regarding my relationship would be highly appreciated. I am feeling so low now. I dont think i can fall asleep tonight. Can you tell me what to do? Thank you everyone out there.
Template Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 The pain is insufferable my friend. I know how you feel. You are going through a normal part of life. I'm not a particularly religious person, but from you say, it seems that God is a big part of who she is. You have to accept that. Her happiness stems from her connection with god, and as you said it yourself, it made her "quite unhappy" when you basically didn't share the same passion. Unfortunately, at this time in your lives, it clearly wasn't meant to be. The first thing you have to do is truly accept that it's over, and there's nothing you can/need/should do to change it. From reading what you wrote, it kind of hinting that your negotiating - "if I did this", or "if I did that", or "if I/she only..." etc. within yourself to justify what would have made it work. Repeat this to yourself, "I am perfect the way I am, and she is perfect the way she is, we are just not going to be perfect together." Say this as many times as you need to to really get your mind heading in the right direction. Eventually you'll realize you need to re-invent yourself and do things that make YOU happy, and the passions that do so. Re-prioritize what you want and need in a life and a relationship.
Author tobefree Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 The pain is insufferable my friend. I know how you feel. You are going through a normal part of life. I'm not a particularly religious person, but from you say, it seems that God is a big part of who she is. You have to accept that. Her happiness stems from her connection with god, and as you said it yourself, it made her "quite unhappy" when you basically didn't share the same passion. Unfortunately, at this time in your lives, it clearly wasn't meant to be. The first thing you have to do is truly accept that it's over, and there's nothing you can/need/should do to change it. From reading what you wrote, it kind of hinting that your negotiating - "if I did this", or "if I did that", or "if I/she only..." etc. within yourself to justify what would have made it work. Repeat this to yourself, "I am perfect the way I am, and she is perfect the way she is, we are just not going to be perfect together." Say this as many times as you need to to really get your mind heading in the right direction. Eventually you'll realize you need to re-invent yourself and do things that make YOU happy, and the passions that do so. Re-prioritize what you want and need in a life and a relationship. thank you Template. Do you think it's my fault that we broke up? I know i could't be converted to be a christian. But she always tried to convert me. We struggled a lot about this. She told me that if i really loved her then i should accept her god and believe what she believed. but i found it so hard for me to do so. I knew i cant pretend to be what i am not. I am feeling so sad now. Thanks for your reply.
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