I'm Joe Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I am not exactly sure where this should go so I hope this is the place. I am sure this has crossed some of your minds and no doubt has been a topic before, I however am still relatively new so it is still fresh for me. These boards hold very little answers for the people that post in them. that is not to say that everyone here doesn't provide excellent information and insight, you absolutely do. However much of the people that post questions here are terrible emotional wrecks. People seek advise in the break up section, but you know how that is. All of the logic and reason in the world is meaningless when your heart is broken. Good advise won't even cool the flame of someone who is in that situation, or here in the dating section, so many people ask questions about when such "n" such a person is ok to date or what to do with misbehaving boy/girlfriends. But any adult knows that giving good ideas to someone who is love sick is like setting Mcdonalds food in front of a starving Ethiopian and then telling him that he shouldn't eat it because its unhealthy. Love is utterly devistating to sound advice and common sense. it easily casts aside logic and reason. The times that I get the most out of the advise on this board is when I am a totally removed third party who can analyze the situation without getting my feelings involved. I don't want to make light of this board or its members. I love hearing everything you have to say and have benefited from it. It just seems to bad that it takes time for the lessons to sink in, and most of the questions here are from people who pop them and never return. I fear they are getting nothing out of it.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Love is utterly devistating to sound advice and common sense. it easily casts aside logic and reason. The times that I get the most out of the advise on this board is when I am a totally removed third party who can analyze the situation without getting my feelings involved. Then maybe that IS the purpose of the board. Learn now before the stuff happens to you and one day on down the road, you'll remember this situation coming up on LS 5 years ago and won't make the same mistake that that poor schmuck did. And I think your post basically summed up life in general. How many people in the real world do you know that listen to reason when they're embroiled in their own emotions?
Author I'm Joe Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 Well I can't speak for anyone else but "love" or whatever feeling it is when you attach yourself emotionally to someone else is the only thing I can consistently point to that overruns my thoughts when it is happening to me. maybe it is just because I am not very emotional but, I tend to let things roll right off me. I am in control of my feelings almost all other times. I sort of envy people in long standing successful marriages. I feel like they have the hardest part of life behind them.
ruggy Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Not sure what you are saying dude. None of us are PHDs in love and relationships, but we all (usually) try to provide the best advice possible.
yeex Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Yeah I am not looking for exact answers here. That would be impossible. I am looking for opinions and perspectives from people that have been in similar situations and perhaps more experience in relationships. When you are wrapped up in your emotions your first instinct of action may not be the wisest. So just getting outside viewpoints helps. Also I don't have to ask my friends for advice all the time which could get annoying and their knowledge and experience may be limited too. Also I think these forums are great in that you see a lot of people experience the same kind of things and thoughts so it makes me not feel as much like a freak.
Geishawhelk Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 These boards hold very little answers for the people that post in them. Incorrect. that is not to say that everyone here doesn't provide excellent information and insight, you absolutely do. However much of the people that post questions here are terrible emotional wrecks. People seek advise in the break up section, but you know how that is. All of the logic and reason in the world is meaningless when your heart is broken. Again, I disagree. The logic and reason are far from meaningless.... Good advise won't even cool the flame of someone who is in that situation, or here in the dating section, so many people ask questions about when such "n" such a person is ok to date or what to do with misbehaving boy/girlfriends. But any adult knows that giving good ideas to someone who is love sick is like setting Mcdonalds food in front of a starving Ethiopian and then telling him that he shouldn't eat it because its unhealthy. And where does that responsibility lie? Not with the one giving out, but with the one seeking to take in.... Love is utterly devistating to sound advice and common sense. it easily casts aside logic and reason. The times that I get the most out of the advise on this board is when I am a totally removed third party who can analyze the situation without getting my feelings involved. It is precisely because you are detached that you get the most out of it. That's not the fault of those giving counsel and advice though. I don't want to make light of this board or its members. I love hearing everything you have to say and have benefited from it. It just seems to bad that it takes time for the lessons to sink in, and most of the questions here are from people who pop them and never return. I fear they are getting nothing out of it. The reason they're getting nothing out of it is because they either refuse to believe it will work for them, or they're not ready to take the advice. The problem lies not with those advising, but with those seeking, and refusing (for whatever reasons) to respond positively. So this forum is invaluable and priceless - providing you are ready, willing and able to follow through.
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