bede86 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Hey I started seeing this girl about a month ago...things were going well for awhile; my friends and family really like her and I have to say I really do have feelings for her....Now she initiated things with me, to begin with I was unsure of what I wanted, now it seems the tables may have turned. She seems at times disinterested in me and just wants to be by herself. we'll go 2 or 3 days with no contact she cancells plans and rescheduals things, she seems down a bit. She tells me its coz shes tired, she does work 6 days a week and sometimes starts at 5.30 am, so I understand but at the same time I like a little affection and I just feel i'm not getting it. She is very social and goes out with her friends allot and she does try and fit in time with me I just feel she could be putting a little more effort in. It's hard to talk to her bout it too, she just doesn't want to communicate, she even said to me that she I do allot for her and she feels bad that she doesn't appreciate enough. Now I just dont get it...I got told by my friends that I'm too clingy and try and hold her hand and hug her too much. Is it me, is this normal? she does seem happy when we do things like go out too dinner and we have had fun. this is my first real relationship at age 22, I've only really ever slept with girls who were acquatances before and never had a full on relationship. any feedback and ideas would be greatly appreciated.
jasminetea Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 You're getting all the information about how she feels about you not only from her actions but from your own friends. Sometimes there is no hidden agenda! She's obviously more emotionally independant than you and she sems to recognise that it takes more than one person to fulfill her. She has a life outside your relationship, she works hard and she does things with her friends. Maybe you need to take a leaf out of her book and stop expecting her to fulfill all your needs; get a life of your own, have your own hobbies, see your friends. Not only will this demonstrate to her that you are independent and confident, both of which are very attractive qualities, but it will become self-fulfilling - the more you do things on your own, the more confident you will become. Win/win
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