trainmanswife Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 My LT significant other has an ex wife and I am curious what the forum has to say on this issue. In 1996 she left him for another man. She stayed with this other man for 4 years, but never divorced from my SI. After 4 years, she decided that she wanted to get back together so "dean" took her back, and they stayed together another 4 years when she left him again for the same man she left him for 8 years earlier. This time they divorced and he and I have been in a relationship ever since which has now started it's 6th year. She stayed with the man she left "dean" for, for another 4 years, and exactly as before, she moved 350 miles to our town, and has been a constant daily presence in our lives since. He confides in her everything about our relationship and has painted me as some kind of crazy, so they now have this alliance of being "best friends" and they share this "bond" because they have 2 grown sons together. I am a parent also, but my ex husband would never overstep what I feel need not be spoken boundaries. They just exist! She tried to get all buddy buddy with me when she first moved her, and called me and asked me to dye her hair....(I am not even a hairstylist).... she came over and I was nice... I did her hair....she got all drunk and then her and "dean's" sons came over my house to pick her drunk ass up and they took her to their dad's house where she slept in our bed. (We were at my house) Two other beds in the house, and she sleeps in deans and my bed. I was fit to be tied, and I told her she crossed the line, but he defended her and turned it on me. There is so much more.... that is just the beginning...
Author trainmanswife Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 I forgot to add.... that was a year ago.... Yesterday he brought her up saying she wants money. I said "I'm sure she will get it too"... and then he got all defensive with this do I have a choice to pay routine, and I said sure... my ex is supposed to pay but he hasn't paid me in a year and a half. To make a long story short, when I mentioned her new boyfriend that she has been dating for the past month.... he was in high gear to fight with me and the rest of the day turned into hell. He was a little too butthurt over her choice of man for my comfort. He said she was downgrading as if this man wasnt as good as he was or something. Before I go any further, this man is vicious, an alcoholic who can be violent, and has hit every woman he has had a relationship with. I moved out 3 weeks ago, but I am trying to end this without hating his guts because as I said in an earlier reply to someone elses post, this man was my life. I truly loved him and tried harder than anyone I know to hang in there, but I just don't see any more hope. I call it breaking up.... he wants me to call it a break. Then accuses me of having a secret life because he cant witness or control every second of every minute of everyday of my life, and because he can't witness it, he has convinced himself I have some secret life. Don't I wish.
westexgrl Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 haha-maybe you should get a secret life!! And make HIM wonder! Just start dating some guys-be friends with them but make him wonder, and hey, if you end up liking one of them...good for you! I think it's BS what he and she are doing-they are showing absolutely no respect for you-and you deserve to be respected.
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