MeMyself&I Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 I broke up with my boyfriend a little over a month ago. I just had lunch with a friend of mine. She said she struggled with whether to tell me these things but felt I had a right to know. She had heard that 1) my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and 2) he was going to break up with me and I had just "beat him" to it. I feel very hurt, angry and betrayed. I'm sure most people will tell me to ignore it but I want to text him and let him know to forget that I had said I wanted him back and that any attempt to be even friends is unwelcome for me. I just feel after what he did that he does not deserve to be left with the impression I am pining for him because those of you who are familiar with my story know that I have tried to make amends..........I feel soooo foolish. PLEASE.......what do you think I should do????
Chinook Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 My 0.2$ would be to say 'ignore him'... chances are that he won't care whether you're pining or not. If he does, then he'll be in touch.... then you can ignore him and he'll know you're not pining for him
Geishawhelk Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Well.... The childish thing to do would be to text him and tell him u hav a new bf and you realise how woefully inadequately endowed he was, in the trouser department. The immature thing to do would be to somehow contact any new GF and say how bad he is in bed, and he has a problem with his bowels. The right thing to do would be to count your blessings, feel happy that you made a good judgement call, for whatever reason, and go find someone better, because you are definitely better than this. And kick him to the kerb for ever.
Author MeMyself&I Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 The right thing to do would be to count your blessings, feel happy that you made a good judgement call, for whatever reason, and go find someone better, because you are definitely better than this. And kick him to the kerb for ever. Geishawhelk, You are so right. I need to be the bigger person. I just hate that he thinks I want him back in any, way, shape or form now. Because I have made it clear before this that I did. I never suspected it.......and this is the first time in my life, to my knowledge, this has happened to me. Chinook........you are right. I'd be fooling myself to say my feelings are instantly dead but I will NEVER take him back. I will ignore him. The sad part is that we see each other a lot. But he will definitely wonder why instead of being civil to him I will totally pretend he does not exist.
wowIlose Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Well - you shouldn't dwell on this. Take solace in the fact that breaking up with him was indeed the right move to make. I know the feeling that is associated with being cheated on - it hurts. Just be civil towards him. Don't resort to arguing and demanding answers now. Your not in a position to do so and it won't solve anything. Use this information as reinforcement that you made the right choice.
Author MeMyself&I Posted February 24, 2009 Author Posted February 24, 2009 I guess I'm niave. Why would people do this to someone?? My ex called me "sheltered". I guess he used that to his advantage. When I'm asked what the one trait I hate in somebody would be.......I always put MEANNESS!! I NEVER like/want to intentionally hurt someone. Even when I broke up with him it wasn't to be mean......it was to be happy. I guess I need to do what each of you say and be glad I made the right decision. I just hate that I begged and pleaded for him to forgive me. Forgive ME.....ya--right. He must be laughing his *ss off!! Yes I do deserve better. Anyone who has been cheated and manipulated does. I'm sooooo hoping there is KARMA. He has so much even beyond me to be paid back for.
wowIlose Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 Most people here begged and pleaded and wish they could take it back. But we can't take back things that have happened. The only thing we can do is not make the same mistakes again. Your not alone in how you feel but don't let your emotions get the better of you. Stay strong and stay positive - find a way to release all that built up stress in a productive way. I do it by working out and playing soccer and it definitely helps.
Author MeMyself&I Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 I know the feeling that is associated with being cheated on - it hurts. Just be civil towards him. Don't resort to arguing and demanding answers now. Your not in a position to do so and it won't solve anything. Use this information as reinforcement that you made the right choice. wowIlose. I deserve better and that's what all my friends, his friends, mutual friends said before and after we broke up........boy were they right. I can now empathize with the people hurting so badly on here that have been cheated on. I've never had it happen........well not that I know of until now. The funny thing is that I'm not that surprised. He's a male hoe. I honestly thought he could be faithful in a relationship even though when he is single he sleeps with anything/everything. I also thought he had changed during the interim of our 1 1/2 years apart. I guess not. I don't even want to talk to him. If I did (and I won't) it would just be to let him know that I know. I don't need to argue or need answers. What more is there to know??? He cheated! He apparently let me break up with him so he looked like the "victim". What a prick. I will take great delight in giving him the cold shoulder and not even attempting to interact with him. He'll wonder why I went from sweet to totally detached. He's somebody else's problem now. Not that I wish it on some unsuspecting victim......but if it's the girl he cheated on me with.....well I'll just say KARMA. I was told the girl he cheated with was the girl he "dated" before me although he and everyone else said it was FWB. But obviously that type of relationship fits him better. Anyway, thanks for the support. I think I'm on the brink of joining the He-woman-manhaters Club. lol No disrespect to you.
Author MeMyself&I Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 I just want to tell people that USUALLY our instincts are right unless something unnatural is influencing them like alcohol, medication or/and illness. The weekend before we broke up (we broke up on a monday), he didn't want to see me that friday. I hadn't seen him for over a week so I questioned him about this. He said he wanted some "alone time." I thought it was odd but respected his feelngs. The next night he started a fight about it saying that I had trust issues. Well........yeah he gave me reason to in the past (when we dated 1 1/2 years ago) and obviously my doubts were right this time cause that had to have been the night he cheated on me!! Ca-ching! 1st intuition right!! When I broke up with him, I told him when we talked a week or so later that maybe he wanted me to break up with him--that way he wouldn't look like the "bad guy" (and my hearing he had been thinking of breaking up with me too today confirms I was probably right) Ca-ching! 2nd intuition right!! I feel so ignorant/stupid I let him play me this way!! He's such a loser! P.S. And the fight I put up to even date him again because he would hurt me!! Ca-ching 3rd intuition right!!
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